Question for Band Veterans

[TracyNYC 4]

Hi All,

I am doing pretty well, down about 45 lbs. since October 6th. I am wondering if it ever becomes "easier". I am trying to learn new ways of thinking about food. All I seem to do is eat about 10 different things "that work" as far as not getting stuck. When I am thrown a curve, like going out to eat, I really panic and have not yet canceled plans, but I become very anxious. I do not enjoy meals or socializing around food anymore and most socialization centers around food.

Today, at work, we had a chance to order lunch out. I ordered meat ball parm hero. I immediately dumped the bread, put away half the meat balls and mashed my food to oblivion. I took 4 bites and had to throw it up. I was mortified. I told my colleagues, not to ask me when they order anymore. They know about my surgery.

I still get angry that I can't have a normal relationship with food. I work on that in counseling. I am more obsessed with food now than before: When can I eat next? What can I eat? Will it get stuck, etc. I have awesome restriction and am losing well right now. (I actually might be a smidge too full) I don't really have hunger, but I fell like the band and food rule my life.

Any words of wisdom or thoughts will be appreciated! LOL

Tracy