wondering??

[elcee 3,341]

All the comments above are very valid and yes people do come here for reassurance and validation but it is still frustrating to read the same thing over and over again and to have to type the same answers.

It would be good if there was a section on this forum that you had to read before joining that explained all the basics. Either that or an FAQ section (one of my ex bosses always said FAQ stood for f**ing awful questions)!

It appears that people do not read older threads before starting one of their own. I also find it extremely scary the lack of information that some people appear to have been given but as Betsy said it is possible that they have just mentally blocked all this info out.

What does tend to happen though is that a lot of the older more experienced bandsters seem to drop out. Yes it may be because they are now comfortable with their bands and no longer in need of the constant interaction on the board but I believe that a lot of them drop out because they get frustrated with reading and answering the same thing over and over.There are very few people here that have been banded for any great length of time that still help and support. Jachut of course is the exception so we had better make sure we don't scare her off!

[Marine mom 3]

I think it is because in life there is that percentage of people who are spoiled, whiny ass, self entitled people, and that is just carried to this board by that group. I don't mean the people who come and say "crap, I hate bandster hell", or those asking for help due to plateaus, but those who are 10 days out and whining because they haven't lost 30 lbs. Or those who think the world should change because they had surgery. Or those who want to blame everyone else for their problems.

Just because someone is banded does not make them nice, friendly, helpful friends. And I am not going to play the sweet codependant and tell them that their behavior and attitudes are justified.

[btrieger 21]

I agree with everything said, especially the ones that said that this is the place to whine.

However, negativity is self-defeating and not only that, when voiced it spawns negativity in others. I try to avoid the negative threads except the ones that are to absurd to avoid like, "I was banded this morning and I am not losing weight yet."

[khunt719 2]

I wasn't educated by my doctor and the only support I got came from the initial consultation and class you have to go to. I didn't lose weight for 6 months but that was because I was eating the wrong foods and too big of amounts but I didn't know better and then I found this forum and have learned so much. Now I understand that I am only supposed to have a small amount of food and it is supposed to last me 3-4 hours. If it weren't for this forum I don't think I would be losing yet. If I didn't have people to talk to that are going through the same thing as I am, I don't think the band would work the way it is supposed to. Just take a chill pill and if reading the forum makes you upset...don't read it.

[stajin22 0]

I am not sure why this happens but it is happening. The people that was banded with me last year don't even post anymore. I am responsible for my actions and the problems I have. I aquired my band to help me and refuse to compare myself with someone else. Some people lose weight faster than others for me I have not been able to exercise so any pound is a victory for me. The problem started a few months after my surgery(back problems). Sometimes it is good to vent but unless there is a health problem no one really wants to hear it. This is just an observation from this forum. I have lost 32 pounds and happy with it. In time I will finish getting the rest off but until then I don't post, I read them. Are there really people out there that are willing to listen? We get wrapped up in our own lives. Have anyone ever heard pay it forward. This what I plan on doing once I have all the bugs worked out for myself. At this point I can jst listen because I have not figured it out myself.:devil_smile:

[Marine mom 3]

You can pay it forward even without working through the bugs. You have your own individual experience that can be a blessing. I am just kind of average but I can share what helps me. Kwim? It may help or may not.

I didn't mean to sound as harsh as I did, but I just get tired of people not taking reaponsibility for themselves.

[agiudice 0]

lots of great responses here. And for the person who suggested that old bandsters have been there done that, agreed. I myself am a new bandster 10 days out as a matter of fact.

I beleive personal responsibility plays a huge part in it. I work in healthcare and could not even fathom going through elective surgery without knowing all the ramifications. In this day and age of "internet gluttance" thereis no lack of information about well ANYTHING!

Interesting insight into people though....thank you everyone for your responses

[jllybean1982 0]

I was one of those "complainers" about not losing weight and being in "bandster hell". It's really frustrating when you go through something like this to lose weight, follow the diet plan, and STILL no weight comes off. I was kind of surprised to see this kind of post because I felt pretty safe talking to ppl on this forum because they understood what I was going through. Everyone on this forum has went through "bandster hell". Agiudice, you are only ten days post op. I hope that you never have to go through "bandster hell" , but you probably will. It was comforting for me to read the posts and know that I was not alone in my plateau. When I came on this site for advice, it wasn't to "bitch". It was to make sure that what I was going through was normal. My doctor did educate me on what to expect post op. I also work in the medical field as a nurse. This didn't stop my me from becoming frustrated. It's only normal to feel as though you're working really hard at something and get frustrated cuz you don't see results. Good luck on your journey Agiudice!

[btrieger 21]

Everyone on this forum has went through "bandster hell".

Bzzzt!!!!

I have gone through no such thing and I know many others that haven't.

I knew exactly what lay ahead of me and kept my chin up throughout.

It's frustrating to me when people are negative or ignorant of the process because I cannot imagine letting a stranger cut 5 holes in me and insert foreign objects into my body without knowing everything there is to know about it. I can't imagine how anyone else can.

I don't mind the negative posts too much but as I said, I try to avoid them so I don't get infected.

[elcee 3,341]

Bzzzt!!!!

I have gone through no such thing and I know many others that haven't.

I knew exactly what lay ahead of me and kept my chin up throughout.

It's frustrating to me when people are negative or ignorant of the process because I cannot imagine letting a stranger cut 5 holes in me and insert foreign objects into my body without knowing everything there is to know about it. I can't imagine how anyone else can.

I don't mind the negative posts too much but as I said, I try to avoid them so I don't get infected.

I agree.

I was well prepared and knew what to expect. I had been well educated by my surgeon and nutritionist, had read lots and lots of threads here and also got info from my in person support group.

Funny lots of people on this forum talk about knowing what is best for them, how they know their bodies etc etc but then they happilly submit to major surgery without doing proper research beforehand! Surely we all have to sit up and take responsibility as well.

I actually don't mind posts where the people are venting and saying how hard it is. We all need an outlet and for some of us this is the only one. Many people decide to keep their surgery secret so this is where they share.

The ones that annoy me are the ones that seem to know nothing.I find that hard to believe, particularly as the process in the US to get insurance approval seems to be long and arduous.I would have thought that the waiting period was more than enough time to find out a bit about what they should expect.

E.G I had surgery 10 days ago, I'm still on liquids and I'm so hungry. I've read about bandster hell but didn't realise how bad it would be....................

does not annoy me

E.g I had surgery 10 days ago, I'm still on liquids and can't understand why I have only lost 10lb

does annoy me

E.g

I had surgery 2 days ago. I'm really hungry so I just had a Big Mac and chips- do you think I've done any harm...

Annoys the C@@p out of me.

[jllybean1982 0]

btrieger sorry if I offended you or something. I associate "bandster hell" as a weight loss plateau which is a normal part of weight loss for MOST people. You're lucky that that has never happened to you because plateaus are a nightmare! I have gotten frustrated along the way, but have plowed through. I'm exercising regularly and eating healthier. This isn't just about the five holes they put in you to insert a foreign object...this is how you use that foreign object to change your lifestyle. I think ppl come here to help them get through the tough times. I too get kind of discouraged when I see the negative posts, but I try not to let them get me down. Elcee, if we knew what was best for our bodies then we wouldn't have needed major surgery in the first place. I do agree that some of the posts are just plain dumb because common sense is all you need sometimes.

[btrieger 21]

I was not offended. We are all different people and see things very differently.

I just want to make it clear to those which are still looking into surgery that not everybody goes through "Hell" and everybody's interpretation of Hell is different.

I've had my share of plateaus and knew they would pass in time. If I had got frustrated or agonized over them, it would be devastating because sometimes I, like many am just looking for a reason to give up.

I come across a lot more critical than I actually am. I am no stronger willed than most but I try and channel what willpower I do have into staying positive about my health.

[Froggie D 1]

This is a really interesting post.

As far as not being informed - I feel I was very well read and well educated by my program by the time I was banded, but I still needed a lot of support and posted a lot. Even though I told about, and understood, the concept of healing after surgery, not losing weight, I had to talk to my self every day to remind myself to be patient and not expect 25 pounds to magically drop off. I told all my family and frends not to expect me to lose much in the beginning as I would be focusing on healing, but they had to remind me a number of times after the surgery!

I think it is human nature to expect miracles. I think we also have a tendency to hear what we want to hear and remember only the positives! The negatives come as a shock!

As far as posting and asking the same questions over and over - I read every post on here for many months and intellectually understood bandster hell, head hunger, healing after surgery, weight loss of 1-2 pounds per week AVERAGE, etc. But once I was banded, I had to go back and reread and remind myself or ask others again. It just seemed different when it was my own experience than when it was something I read about someone else.

Having someone post empathy and support back to me was a BIG HELP! It was personal, not just educational. I want to say thinks again to all those who answered my posts and gave me support. Your help was invaluable to me!!!!!!!!!!!

This has made me think about the fact that I am not posting as often as I used to because I need less. I have committed myself to answering more posts from new bandsters and "paying it forward!":thumbup:

[CarolWA 0]

Most people did the research and know what is happening to them.

It's just venting at a place where people most likely will understand.

[HAL380 0]

Good Afternoon:

I get banded on 7/1. I have been on this forum every day since about Feb 1st. I think I know what to expect.

When I started here, I didn't know what I didn't know. Later I realized what I didn't know and did my research. Now I think I have covered all aspects of the process. My only uncertainty is my reaction to the bumps in the road. Yes I intend to be strong, and not a whiner. If I have a problem or a bad few days, I will probably stay off here so I dont bring others down. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and gut it out.

I remember when I would try to quit smoking, I became an absolute bear. It got to the point that my wife and kids didn't want to try to quit again:mad:. I finally quite about 12 years ago. I have found that you will do what you have to do only when you are ready. When I start wondering about my resolve I look at the pics we took of me last week -- that pretty much settles it.

Regards

Hal