How important are the rules really?

[btrieger 21]

... I imagine those with a sheep mentality are the most successful being banded - you know, those folks who take direction without question...

I'm one of those sheep because I got tired of being a cow. :devil_smile:

[btrieger 21]

I do not have the "sheep mentality" of which you speak. My doctor gives good instructions, most of which I follow explicitly. Those I "bend," I do so after discussion with him.

I am still trying to read this whole thread. There are some great quotes here but this one describes my relationship with the rules best.

[monkeymama 0]

Wow this certainly is an interesting thread... As an RN myself I too can attest to the fact that doctors are not gods... doctors make mistakes... The first surgeon I went to admitted to me that if he knew then what he knows now he wouldn't of done half the bypasses he did because of the long term affects.. I have also seen doctors prescribe the wrong medications, doctors miss labs etc etc.... I could never blindly follow a doctor- because they are human just like me and I make mistakes as do they..

[nailpro00 71]

Wow, this was a very heated topic. I thoroughly enjoyed all the replies. I have only had one fill since my initial surgery and I have no restriction. However some people report uncomfortable degrees of restriction from their first fill. This whole process is subjective and I have had to come to terms with that. I may not be the wonderful success story like that of the people on the commercials. I may have to exercise harder or use more sheer will power. Unfortunately, if I had the will power, I wouldn't be banded. *sigh* It's so frustrating because I feel like the quick losers expect everyone to have the same experience they are....it reminds me of the many food and exercise conversations I've had with my thin friends. Magically, they just don't crave sugar. However, my body WANTS it, morning, noon and night. It would be so much easier if I didn't crave because then I'd be like my skinny friends. They don't have stronger will power. They simply don't have the same cravings and desires. Our bodies are all different. Our hormone levels are all different. Let's support each other, rather than judge and berate each other. We do better when we can. And for those hours,days, weeks or months that we mess up, we need acceptance to move forward.

With that said, I'm scheduled for my second fill at the end of June and I am praying that my doctor puts enough to really give me some restriction, cause I ate 3 quarters of half a bagel before I felt anything....that's a lot of bread!!

Oh and my nutritionist said the whole reason they say not to drink carbonated beverages is not because the band may slip, but because it creates so much gas that you will be very uncomfortable, to the point of throwing up...now throwing up is NOT good for the band. At this point, I can drink beer very slowly, but I have a feeling that once I get my second fill, I wont be able to do this anymore.

I wish everyone all the best with their weightloss, especially me :thumbup:

I love what you wrote. I was feeling the same way about how judge mental many of the posts were.

you should have started feeling restriction after your first fill even if it was just for a little while. You will absolutely have it after your next.

I read how you are eating Bagels. I am not so sure that is the best thing for you to have. But being you are I am very jealous. I have not have any bread for 10 months. I don't have it not because I am afraid it is going to get stuck. I am afraid it is not going to. I don't want to go back to bread.

best of luck to everyone on your success.

[♥Amy♥ 5]

I'm one of those sheep because I got tired of being a cow. :scared2:

Me too!

:thumbup:

[Beachbunny 5]

I was told any i say any carbonated drinks cause the small new stomache to fill with gas and stretch . Hence this could work against the band and losing weight.

[BetsyB 9]

So, Savvy, what was your goal with this thread? What did you hope to hear?

Did you want validation that your approach is wise?

To be told that the rest of us ignore our doctors' recommendations and lost weight really well and really fast?

You're right--blindly following bad advice from a poor physician is not intelligent.

But neither is making up your own "rules" when you discover you made a poor choice of physician.

Your way HAS NOT WORKED IN THE PAST. You have NO reason to believe it will now.

You're dissatisfied with your doctor's aftercare. That's understandable.

The logical leap is NOT, "Eff it all, I'll do what I want."

It's, "Where can I find a doctor who really provides great aftercare, welcomes questions from patients, and is open to discourse/debate about things I don't quite 'buy.'"

No one personally attacked you. They answered the question YOU asked. Take a pill, and read the responses you've gotten. You've received some very, very thoughtful advice from people who are succeeding with the band.

This is not a freaking punishment. It's a fabulous opportunity to change your life for the better. Make good use of it.

[nailpro00 71]

Honestly I am not finding this productive anymore. I don't want to read about this bandster being bashed or told off anymore. enough is enough. we are all looking for support and this is not my idea of support.

[Marine mom 3]

Not everyone has the choice of doctors, and suggesting someone take a pill is as rude as calling people sheep.

Making our own choices based on our own bodies is how some of us are losing weight. On the docs suggested 1200 calorie diet I would gain. As I said, he is the best surgeon for anything around here. He is by no means a weight loss expert, however. He is the first to say so. I was more concerned with not dying during surgery or being mutilated, lol.

[AnneGG 0]

What I'm hearing throughout this thread (other than the attacks) is people working at being responsible for their choices, whether they agree with each other or not. I suspect that's what all this uproar comes down to- I am responsible for my choices and their results whether I follow recommendations or not.

Doctors are human, so are coaches, so am I. I'm still stuck on what are the best outcomes, what and who creates them, and what specifically am I responsible for to support that process, considering it is my body.

[BetsyB 9]

You're right, Missy. I should have said, "take a deep breath" instead of "take a pill." I live with teenagers; in this house they mean the same thing. But it did come across as rude, and I'm sorry.

I still believe there was little bashing on this thread, and lots of good advice offered. The OP didn't like it--and lashed out a bit more than most who post incendiary questions.

[Froggie D 1]

I am impressed by the passion and investment in this post. It just shows how much being banded means to us and how invested we are in our own successes. It is a positive thing to see this whole process working for so many people.

I propose we channel all that energy and enthusiasm into pulling each other along on this difficult journey. I know the support I have received along the way has been a Godsend for me. :thumbup:

[KimDB 0]

Everyone else has said it ... different surgeons have different rules, different people have different success rates based on doing different things that end up being right for them. What's right for one person might not work for someone else, etc. and so on. My surgeon was very up front with me that no one expects 100% perfection in following instructions, that is not life ... but that said, as a band patient you should expect to alter your lifestyle. The instructions are tips to help you figure out how to use your tool as effectively as possible and adapt it to your lifestyle.

This forum is so helpful for that - I pay more attention to the advice in those posts where I look at really amazing ticker numbers on the bottom.

On the other hand, I pay somewhat less attention to the ones that seem to half treat surgery like it's admission to the Church of the Band. We were all overweight to begin with, and it bothers me that post-band some people seem to start to sound as if they feel they are "better" or more "ethical" than others ... it's not a moral issue, it's not a competition between forum members. Am I the only one who notices there is almost a note of anger sometimes from posters who "follow the rules" towards posters who say they don't follow certain rules? Either answer the question, or don't, but why get angry at or sarcastic towards someone for asking a question? If they don't lose weight, it will be their own issue ... it's not like they are sinners.

[Froggie D 1]

Everyone else has said it ... different surgeons have different rules, different people have different success rates based on doing different things that end up being right for them. What's right for one person might not work for someone else, etc. and so on. My surgeon was very up front with me that no one expects 100% perfection in following instructions, that is not life ... but that said, as a band patient you should expect to alter your lifestyle. The instructions are tips to help you figure out how to use your tool as effectively as possible and adapt it to your lifestyle.

This forum is so helpful for that - I pay more attention to the advice in those posts where I look at really amazing ticker numbers on the bottom.

On the other hand, I pay somewhat less attention to the ones that seem to half treat surgery like it's admission to the Church of the Band. We were all overweight to begin with, and it bothers me that post-band some people seem to start to sound as if they feel they are "better" or more "ethical" than others ... it's not a moral issue, it's not a competition between forum members. Am I the only one who notices there is almost a note of anger sometimes from posters who "follow the rules" towards posters who say they don't follow certain rules? Either answer the question, or don't, but why get angry at or sarcastic towards someone for asking a question? If they don't lose weight, it will be their own issue ... it's not like they are sinners.

Amen.:thumbup:

[joho 0]

You're right, Missy. I should have said, "take a deep breath" instead of "take a pill." I live with teenagers; in this house they mean the same thing. But it did come across as rude, and I'm sorry.

I still believe there was little bashing on this thread, and lots of good advice offered. The OP didn't like it--and lashed out a bit more than most who post incendiary questions.

You are joking arent you?????? She lashed out more than most!. She has made 4 posts in total ever, the first one asking for (in my opinion) why so many rules. The second post asking (in my opinion) that she is confused as to why there are such a vary in rules between docs and who is right and how she is struggling to retrain her brain and wishes that there was concrete rules given to all. (perhaps take out the sentance mentioning sheep in because no one seems to go past that). 3 was a little pissed and 4 was well ticked off (and who can blame her).

A few people have (yourself included) posted some good advice given in either a spiteful, mean or judgemental way. Look at the first response to her original post, helpful, I think not.

Some of you have said her tone 'appeared' off, well you read your posts in a negative tone (which they are) or anyones, you can read whatever tone you like into a comment.

To me the posters is confused, frustrataed and stuggling (maybe read the comments with this thought in mind). I think a few of you should be ashamed of your responses and maybe in future if you really feel offended by what someone says just dont bother replying. (I am now going to take my own advice :thumbup:).

Jo