How important are the rules really?

[monkeymama 0]

This post really needs to be deleted. It has really brought out some ugliness in a lot of people on here. People I otherwise find to have refreshing and helpful answers. As fat people I would have thought we were above the bullying and teasing since we are the most discriminated against group in America (perhaps the world). If people want to feel bad about themselves they can listen to morning radio or a comedian or simply go to the mall and sit in the food court and watch people look at them and eyeball what they eat.... This should be a place where folks can come and be accepted- if you don't agree find a nice way to say it or simply ignore and move on. Mods please delete this post because if I came here for the first time and stumbled upon it I would be very afraid to ever post for the fear of being treated poorly- and I think that would be a shame since it is a useful and wonderful board otherwise.

[elcee 3,341]

I disagree . I don't think this thread needs to be deleted at all. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I don't see the ugliness that some of you seem to see. Calling it straight is not being ugly.Yes some of the posts are a little strange but the majority have been useful and productive.

There are far worse threads on here if you care to dig deep enough.

[Humming Bird 275]

I don't know what to think. I guess I am naive enough to not even consider what a "troll" is and that the people here are just like me. I think this thread is a good example why veteran's posts seem to dwindle.

[Marine mom 3]

Lordy, if I were SavvyCat, I sure wouldn't post here! The Water is a little too snarky for my tastes. High school indeed. Makes me sad and not feel safe.

Well, if you need everyone to agree, it probably isn't safe enough for you. If you throw out questions or opinions people are going to offer theirs. That is the way of the msg. board.

Different isn't bad. It is just different.

[AnneGG 0]

I don't think this thread should be deleted- it would be useful to use it as grist for the mill, and to help a person make choices about how they want to be in this new life style of ours. Just changing the way we eat isn't going to help the underlying issues of hurt and the other reasons we turned to food in the first place.

So the thread within the thread just makes me sad. And there are a lot of constructive posts here, too. It just makes me aware of the power of the negative.

I like debate and different opinions. I don't like attacking; I don't think it's at all useful to make something be about the person.

I also know there is no perfect places of perfect safety and comfort. I can learn from this, and then make my own choices.

We're all works in progress.

[sloanjd 0]

Wow everyone...

1. This post/thread should NOT be deleted.

2. I find Savvy Cat to be interesting, brave, and HONEST. She should not change her screen name and start again- Savvy Cat, you have a lot of supporters on here, and I hope you stay on the site (with your name and continue to post on this and other threads).

3. This thread has demonstrated an unproductive mob mentality from some. By profession, I'm a trial attorney and would think twice about posting questions for fear of being attacked! And I'm not scared easily!! This site is designed to be supportive. Many comments could have simply been said without the judgements included. Some things shouldn't have been said at all. Other posts were helpful and insightful (especially posts by Jachut which I always enjoy reading).

4. Constructive disagreement and respectful debate are good. Personal attacks and accusations are not.

5. I honestly feel that, being new to all this, I could have easily asked a similiar question, and I would have been HORRIFIED if I received some of the responses which have been posted here. How did this get so ugly? Why?

Edited June 25, 2010 by sloanjd

[Humming Bird 275]

Wow everyone...

1. This post/thread should NOT be deleted.

2. I find Savvy Cat to be interesting, brave, and HONEST. She should not change her screen name and start again- Savvy Cat, you have a lot of supporters on here, and I hope you stay on the site (with your name and continue to post on this and other threads).

3. This thread has demonstrated a mob mentality from some that has been simply unproductive. By profession, I'm a trial attorney and would think twice about posting questions I may have for fear of being attacked! And I'm not scared easily!! This site is designed to be supportive. Many things said could have simply been said without the judgements included. Some things shouldn't have been said at all. Other posts were helpful and insightful (especially posts by Jachut which I always enjoy reading).

4. Constructive disagreement and respectful debate are good. Personal attacks and accusations are not.

5. I honestly feel that, being new to all this, I could have easily asked a similiar question, and I would have been HORRIFIED if I received some of the responses which have been posted here. How did this get so ugly? Why?

because she is posting under 2 screen names on this very thread .......... trolling .......

[sloanjd 0]

because she is posting under 2 screen names on this very thread .......... trolling .......

I disagree that Savvy Cat is 'trolling' or posting under different names. I think her explanation that her husband used her screen name to write that comment/post was a reasonable explanation. If you look at her 'husband's' post, (writing, spelling, language, 'tone') I do not believe it matches any previous postings on this thread under a 'different screen name'. I unfortunately see a lot of deception in my line of work, and Savvy Cat's posts DO NOT strike me as being such. I believe her explanation that her husband wrote that post (which she then probably tried to delete when she realized he did so).

Edited June 25, 2010 by sloanjd

[Marine mom 3]

I would agree, perhaps, until you get to the part where her "husband" posted, not as a loving husband, but a supposed anonymous poster. Unless you are willing to say that that her partner didn't know she was a she. At that point she appears to be trolling for trouble.

I have said all along it can be an interesting conversation. But calling people "sheep" if they follow their doc's suggestions was uncalled for. As were some of the judgmental posts by the "other" side.

People aren't going to agree on issues, as you well know.:bored: But decency sure helps. If one cannot deal with disagreement, a msg board is only going to cause grief. They take a thick skin.

[JennyLC 0]

I have read this entire thread from beginning to end. How could you not really? It was like a bad car accident, wanted to look away but just couldn't.

I am new to this forum, just registered yesterday in fact. I had a few questions myself and was looking to see if there was any info already posted when I saw this. I was completely shocked by the first reply I read. Instead of offering advice, the reply admonished the poster and basically said when you fail don't come looking for sympathy. Is that constructive? There were a few constructive replies and then it seemed to me that the thread took a life of it's own and became the complete opposite of what it's intended for. Shouldn't we be encouraging each other instead of rooting for others to fail just to prove our point?

Being a relatively new lap-bander (5/11/10) I have many questions and was excited to find this forum. Just not completely sure I'll be posting anything if this is the kind of response that follows.

I will continue to search for answers to my questions as I believe that there is a lot of value in being able to learn from the experiences of others.

[btrieger 21]

Being a relatively new lap-bander (5/11/10) I have many questions and was excited to find this forum. Just not completely sure I'll be posting anything if this is the kind of response that follows.

Welcome aboard!

Basing your opinion of this forum on one thread out of 110,876 is a bit narrow-minded isn't it?

Before I knew that the OP was trolling, I thought she was trying to justify her bad behavior. I think the first reply was right on. There are plenty of people with actual issues that take priority above those causing the problem to themselves and knowing it.

That being said, if you don't feel like posting; you'll do just fine. I don't think there is anything regarding the lapband that hasn't already been discussed here in detail.

[JennyLC 0]

Basing your opinion of this forum on one thread out of 110,876 is a bit narrow-minded isn't it?

You're completely correct. And I have found a lot of great advice already. Thanks for the reality check. I look forward to using this forum as a wonderful tool in the future.

[rajva 0]

I had to go to Mexico and pay for my surgery all on my own. So I followed all the Doctor's rules to the letter since I did not want to go back to Mexico with complications and do not have insurance that will pay for them either. He said they are guidelines also and that I really need to listen to my body and just pay attention. One reason why I got so big was not doing that.

Yes I have cheated in the past and right now during the summer months I am craving a big juicy hamburger...but know it will not stay down so I know it is all head cravings..

As far as pop is concerned I had an 8 pack a day diet dr. pepper habit I gave up a few days before surgery and have not had one since. I have drooled while watching a lady drink one in the airport once but do not really want one and I am amazed at what I thought was "needed" to keep me awake and going is not right.

Please find out why you are trying not to follow the rules or just set your own guidelines based your body and its needs, not wants. Hope you work it out because the band is a great tool if you use it. Good luck.

[sloanjd 0]

I agree, this site has provided me with a wealth of information. While, I don't agree with all the postings on this particular thread, the passions involved are a reminder of what a life-changing and important journey we have all embarked upon. I'm very thankful I found this site.

[sloanjd 0]

I agree, this site has provided me with a wealth of information. While, I don't agree with all the postings on this particular thread, the passions involved are a reminder of what a life-changing and important journey we have all embarked upon. I'm very thankful I found this site.

Since this thread has the lapbandtalk world's attention, I have two questions:

1. I added my weight tracker ticker under my signature but it is not appearing when I post, anyone know why?

2. I was banded 6/2/10 and under my port incision site is a firm lump about the size of a golf ball (or a little smaller). It is not the actual port (which is placed lower than the incision). It isn't visible to the naked eye but can easily be felt by touch. Does anyone know what this is? Did anyone have this and did it resolve? My doctor said it was probably scar tissue but I think it is more likely a seroma or hematoma. Any thoughts?

Edited June 25, 2010 by sloanjd