Second thoughts...

[Pickles26 0]

I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I'm at my heaviest 235lbs my lightest 115lbs. I've been approved for surgery and even have a date less then 30 days away and now I'm thinking of cancelling it. I'm terrified. I'm thinking if I'm really ready to do this I should be excited or happy but I'm not. So I must not be ready yet, right?

Here is a list of the reasons for my fear...

1. I hate the thought of limiting what I'll eat not quantity wise but damn can I have a slice of bread and not worry?

2. I'm losing my best friend. My sidekick, my hiding place when the world gets rough. What am I gonna do when I get overwhelmed or hurt. I can't eat anymore so whats next?

3. Most importantly, is this really going to help me? I'm not overweight because of my portions necessarily. I'm overwight because I've found happiness in food. I mean to be honest I love IT more then I love myself. So will this help? Is there another way I can be "fixed?" If my challange with food is mental why am I doing something physical to accomplish my goal.

I'm so confused. I'm terrified. Any input would help.

Thank you.

[girl55 5]

I read your thread. I closed it. And then I came back to it after some thought. I love food, I've always loved food. It was there when I was happy, when I was sad, when I was depressed and so on. And I debated as to whether I really wanted to do this. I even went as far as having second thoughts the day of surgery. But you know I thought about it. Next year at this time (without the surgery) I will probably weight 10-20 lbs. more. I was already up to 265. That's scary. Next year was even scarier.I have a great husband, great family, lots of friends. But I wasn't comfortable in my own body. I hated my body. After struggling with my weight all my life, I decided it was time to change.I was banded march 16, self pay and I don't regret it at all. When you start losing weight (i've lost 40 lbs since) your have more confidence, security, not to mention energy. Makes you want to get out and enjoy other things. I don't think about food as much anymore. I have less depression and sadness and don't need food to fulfill anything. I eat bread (sometimes). I even have ice cream or a glass of wine. But once you eat as much as you can eat with the band, your satisfied. You don't crave it.

this whole process is not as stringent as you think. Your 27, go for it. I wished I could have at 27. I would enjoyed life a whole lot more.

[sslouha 3]

I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I'm at my heaviest 235lbs my lightest 115lbs. I've been approved for surgery and even have a date less then 30 days away and now I'm thinking of cancelling it. I'm terrified. I'm thinking if I'm really ready to do this I should be excited or happy but I'm not. So I must not be ready yet, right?

OK First take a deep breath everyone reacts to having any type of surgery differently!

Here is a list of the reasons for my fear...

1. I hate the thought of limiting what I'll eat not quantity wise but damn can I have a slice of bread and not worry?

You can have everything but it is going to be in moderation! You may be one of the lucky ones and be able to eat that slice of bread then again you may not, you can live without it believe me, I use to eat bread like you wouldn't believe now sometimes I can have a bit or two of bread other times I can't and I am ok with that because I know bread is not dissapearing~

2. I'm losing my best friend. My sidekick, my hiding place when the world gets rough. What am I gonna do when I get overwhelmed or hurt. I can't eat anymore so whats next?

You will be able to eat and you will find another new best friend, I understand what your going through and you may be a person that will have to mourn the passing of this bestfriend, it is ok~

3. Most importantly, is this really going to help me? I'm not overweight because of my portions necessarily. I'm overwight because I've found happiness in food.

You did not find happiness you found an unhealthy relationship that is not allowing you to move forward with your health. Not only is the issue portion but it is also a love hate relationship that has really not allow you to live like you could.

I mean to be honest I love IT more then I love myself. So will this help? Is there another way I can be "fixed?" If my challange with food is mental why am I doing something physical to accomplish my goal.

To love an inanimate object that much is dangerous, you should put yourself at the top of the list. Is this going to be a quick fix, ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! But this will help you control what you eat, how you eat and why you eat. You have to be 100% sure that you want this because if not you will just be a person with a band that just exist! I am 47 years old and I wish I had done this earlier. See I lost a lot of time fighting the battle of the bulge because I thought ohh its ok I can do this no problem, I did but I would go back to old habits and I lost out on a lot, I should have been going out and having fun, working out, being with friends in a healthy relationship instead food was there and I resented it and loved it at the same time. Don't do the same, is this a scary time YES will it be well worth it, YOU BETCHA!!! take heart, but if you feel in your heart of hearts that you are not ready then cancel because you wont succeed.

Good Luck on whatever you decide~

Sandee

[tinkerbellbeeve 1]

my surgery date was 12-14-8 down 100lbs

wish i would of done the lap band years ago!!

i had to pay out of pocket and its worth every penny of it

dont 2nd guess yourself!!follow your heart

just do it!!

good luck:thumbup:

[btrieger 21]

Comments below:

I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I'm at my heaviest 235lbs my lightest 115lbs. I've been approved for surgery and even have a date less then 30 days away and now I'm thinking of cancelling it. I'm terrified. I'm thinking if I'm really ready to do this I should be excited or happy but I'm not. So I must not be ready yet, right?

If at the time of surgery, you are still not positive you want to go through with it, then I think you should postpone it and do a little more soul-searching. You have 6 months to a year after getting insurance approval. If you are self-pay, you have forever.

I was second guessing myself as well but made up my mind that this was necessary. I had lost over 100 pounds twice in the past and gained it back with interest. I was determined not to let that happen again.

Here is a list of the reasons for my fear...

1. I hate the thought of limiting what I'll eat not quantity wise but damn can I have a slice of bread and not worry?

A lot of bandsters can still eat bread. You won't know if you can until you've had the surgery.

2. I'm losing my best friend. My sidekick, my hiding place when the world gets rough. What am I gonna do when I get overwhelmed or hurt. I can't eat anymore so whats next?

food is not our best friend!! It is our worst enemy. Get a puppy!!

3. Most importantly, is this really going to help me? I'm not overweight because of my portions necessarily. I'm overwight because I've found happiness in food. I mean to be honest I love IT more then I love myself. So will this help? Is there another way I can be "fixed?" If my challange with food is mental why am I doing something physical to accomplish my goal.

Do you really love it or have you just convinced yourself of this to justify eating so much?

I'm so confused. I'm terrified. Any input would help.

Once again, research as much as you possible can and make sure you are positive this is right for you before going under the knife.

Thank you.

[PuppyBandit 2]

This post sounds like my quit smoking post on a quit smoking support forum. At first I felt like I was missing an arm after quitting, like my best friend had died.

A change like this is life altering, but the change will be for the better, not for the worst.

But like cigs, unhealthy eating is not a "best friend" it's the enemy and does not support you like a friend, it hurts you and is bad for your health and will shorten your life.

[Catherine55 43]

I've been approved for surgery and even have a date less then 30 days away and now I'm thinking of cancelling it. I'm terrified.

Don't worry! It's NORMAL to have doubts and question your decision. This is a big step you are taking! That said, 18 months ago, I weighed 230 pounds and today I'm at 153, two pounds under my goal (and 8 from my aspirational goal). It's a good feeling!!

The thing that helped me the most during my pre-op questioning of my decision was to make a pro/con list about the surgery. Here is a link to my list. Once I wrote it out, the decision was clear. I read that list many times, and every time I did, it just reinforced for me that I was doing the right thing.

Now, with the benefit of hindsight, I see that I really did make the right decision. This ride has been very enjoyable. I have loved all the NSVs, I haven't been hungry or felt deprived, and I was able to get free from feeling badly about myself and my body every single day.

These days, I shop where I want, I am in the best shape of my life, and I actually LIKE how my body looks. I just wore a bikini on vacation for the first time since college, and I even put a photo of myself wearing it on my blog! I never imagined at the outset of this process that something like that would be possible, but it happened!!

Definitely give the pro/con list a shot. It's a great tool, and no matter what you decide, at least your decision will be well thought-out.

With best wishes,

Catherine

[thamilton 0]

I was banded last August and have lost 57 pounds, and it is by far the greatest thing I have ever done for myself. It is not an easy road, there will be bumps but there will also be great rewards and milestones! I still eat bread and really anything I want, just not as much as I want. I too was an emotional eater but once you start losing the weight and reaching new goals your mindset totally changes and the twinkies and junk food just aren't as appealing. seriously!

It is a huge decision and lifestyle change and is not for everyone so take your time deciding. As for me I am 35 and wish I would have done it years ago! Good luck on your decision and your journey!

[Pickles26 0]

I just got your message on the other post I had. I posted it twice because I belive there are two forums. One for pre-op and post-op. I really wanted input from both people. If I post it on either one will everyone still be able to read it? Anyways thanks for the advice. I too have lost 80 pounds twice in my lifetime only to gain it back. You saying that was a bit of an eye opener. thanks.

[Pickles26 0]

Way to break it down. I greatly appreciate this post.

[btrieger 21]

Keep reading as much as possible here. You will realize that the majority of us are kindred spirits. We've all been on yo-yo diets our entire lives.

[crsti41 0]

I to questioned myself , i am a week today that i got banded and I know i did the right thing. It was a very emotional decision for me i used the excuse i am older i will miss my dates with my daughter going out to eat, i can do weight watchers again. I want to live longer be healthier and feel better about myself. So following my head i went for it and although its a new start and i am just begining i am glad i did it you will be to. Best of luck

[Sooz 0]

I suppose it is a tougher decision at 27 than it is at my age. My 20's and 30's were some of my best gorging days. I got to taste lots of delicious food then. Lots! Unfortunately, my appetite control was broken, and still is.

In my 20's and 30's I could still chase after my kids. Even though overweight I could still go to exercise classes without feeling like I'd be going into cardiac arrest within 5 minutes. Although self-conscious, I could still wear a swimsuit. I could travel to exotic locales without worrying about holding my friends/family back on walking excursions and other activities.

After years of being a happy-go-lucky food processing plant, it caught up with me. All those spaghetti dinners and donuts and bowls of ice cream are not fond memories any longer.

I am working hard at getting all the testing done to get to the "omg I have a surgery date!" point. For you it's a choice and a tough decision regarding sacrifices. For me, now, it is regrets for allowing food to become my best friend, and new hope for the future.

Best of luck in whatever you decide!

[jllybean1982 0]

Hi Pickles! I was so afraid when I first got banded. I was so scared that I would never be able to eat "normal" again. Then I think of how unhappy I am with my body. I was 257 at my heaviest weight. When I went for surgery, I was 249. I'm not happy with how I look. I felt self conscious everytime I was in public. I'm down 16 pounds so far (banded May 13,2010) and I am starting to feel so much better! People notice that I have lost weight and that, to me, is better than any food! I still treat myself occasoinally and eat food that I like, I just eat much smaller amounts of it. Girl55's story sounds EXACTLY like mine. Every year putting on more and more weight. I was getting scared cuz I was losing control. I was skeptical that the band could even help me. I still get scared that I will be a failure. I take it day by day. One thing I do know, is that having the band has changed my life. I am more conscious of what/how much I am eating. I am exercising almost daily. It feels really good! I have control! In the past, I always felt better coming home with a McDonald's crispy chicken value meal, sitting down and being nervous cuz I was still hungry after I finished it. NOW I can still eat what I enjoy, but in moderation and smaller portions. Haven't tried a chicken sandwich, but did have french fries (small) once and they were awesome! It was nice to have them, but to have the willpower to stop after only a few of them.

Pickles, whatever decision you decide to make I wish you LOTS of luck! It's not an easy decision. I just know that I wish I had made this decision a few years ago!

[tnwhite2001 2]

I am 27 too and I just had the surgery a week ago. I have to say that I was having a lot of the same fears that you are. Honestly, I started doing research on all of this years ago. I went to two different seminars. Never followed up. I wasn't ready. My biggest fear was one of your fears, I would be giving up my best friend. I have great friends, don't get me wrong, but I turned to food like a friend and it never let me down. I would eat when I was happy, sad, depressed, felt rejected, or really for anything. Then I realized something. I realized that food wasn't my best friend! A best friend isn't toxic, which food was becoming for me. A best friend doesn't kick you when you're down, which food always did. My entire life I was turning to this thing for comfort and all it was doing was making me feel worse and more and more uncomfortable in my own skin. That's not a friend at all. As the old saying goes, with friends like THAT who needs enemies.

With that realization I was ready to proceed with my surgery. I went to yet another seminar, did all the legwork that goes along with having surgery, and finally had my surgery June 1. It's not a miracle cure, it doesn't fix everything, and I'm still hungry a lot because I'm not at restriction but I truly feel like this was one of the best decisions of my life, and I'm just starting out.

I feel like if you really evaluate your life you will realize that you don't need the crutch of food in your life anymore. That you can go on without it. Plus, you have something that I didn't have at that stage of the game. You have this website. I didn't find this site until after my surgery and I have to say it would have made the decision a lot easier. Knowing that there are thousands of people out there going through the same things and making the same decisions as me would have been a huge help in that time of uncertainty for me. Just realize you have friends here and in your real life that will support you and love you no matter what you decide and make the decision that is right for you and your health.