Bad day. Advice needed

[iwannabealoser 0]

I have been so completely hyped up about the LAP-BAND®® that I cant stop thinking about it. There are several people that I am not sure whether I will be telling them about it or not, but there is one friend I have at school that I decided to tell. Her reaction totally bummed me.

I was chatting with her and she basically kept asking me questions like "Well, if you have to exercise and eat healthy anyways.. why do you need the band, cant you just save the money?" :biggrin: I tried to answer the question but she really caught me off guard because I wasn't expecting a negative response from her so my answer probably came out sounding dumb. She kept saying "i totally support you, but.." followed with something totally unsupportive. Mentioning how she knows so many people including herself that have lost 60 lbs or more the natural way or something about "saving the money". I told her that the money is not my concern and I tried to tell her that the LAP-BAND®® will be a great motivation and help me eat less, but I just feel like I didn't have the right words to explain to her why the LAP-BAND®® is different than just a regular diet.

Anyone been though this and have some advice?? I plan to tell her that its my money and my decision and I appreciate her concern but I would also like to either have her support or if thats not possible, to just not make it a topic of conversation, but I know these questions will arise again with other people. I want to plan a good response so I dont look like a fool

[Jachut 487]

First and foremost, this must be something you do for you and you alone. I feel the same way about cosmetic surgery, budget and money issues and how we allocate family funds are relevant of course, but the actual decision to change your body in such a fundamental way can only be made by you and it is ONLY for your benefit. What someone else thinks is absolutely irrelevant and their support will not really make your journey easier anyway, you have to find the strength within yourself this time.

On a more practical level, virtually nobody loses a lot of weight and keeps it off. That's a fact. The band makes eating right and exercise possible and maintainable. You will have to work at it, yes, but you will have success this time.

[clearblue 0]

I worried a ton about this early on and finally made my mind up to be completely honest about it to everyone.

My fear was that people would think I was somehow taking an easy way out or that I was just being lazy. In reality, I have had nothing but support from my friends and family and now that I'm losing weight they are even a bit jealous or ask me tons of questions as if they might want to do it themselves.

Truth is, your real friends will support you regardless. I tell them that the band is simply a backstop for me when I struggle to do it on my own -- it's not a guranteed fix, but provides me the support I need when my brain isn't cooperating with my desire to binge.

When the question of cost comes up, I simply ask them to ask any person that is over 100lbs overweight if they would trade their car to be healthy and thin. 99% would in a heartbeat.

Hope that helps.

[illuminationlady 7]

I would advise you to keep talking to your friend, explaining the band "rules". My entire family was against my having the surgery and I did it any way. NOW they believe it was the best thing that I ever did. I just kept educating them over and over. Explain that it's a tool that will enable you to KEEP the weight off. 95% of people who do WW, Jenny Craig, and just on their own regain their weight and then some. Explain "restriction" and make her aware that there is a waiting period for you to achieve restriction. During this time you won't be losing quickly. That was the hardest part for me. People kept asking, "How much have you lost?" and I hadn't lost much. Now that I have restriction the weight is coming off slow but steady. Simply explain the process, maybe more than once, and she will see the results in the end. I would be up front and honest with her also about being negative. Tell her you need her support and would be happy to answer any of her questions, just to be positive. Best wishes to you on your journey!

[iwannabealoser 0]

Thank you everyone. I really feel better reading your responses. :biggrin: