Got my date...but need support... surgeon was rough!

[Tracytma 19]

Hi everyone...once again I am here looking for support! Good thing you are all here! Well, like momma always said, "careful what you wish for...cause you just might get it!!" Well, I was hoping for a quick date when I met with my surgeon and I got it!! June 14th... two weeks from Monday! I sort of freaked out inside! Guessing that is normal... but what was weird for me was that my Doctor actually tried to talk me out of the band!!!

Ok, so I have Gerd (gastric reflux) and a bad back (two back surgeries). She said... "you know.. the band might not help your Gerd and you may not be successful at all if you don't exercise 1 hour a day... so you might want to reconsider. I looked her in the eye and said... "So I guess I'm going to have to exercise an hour a day!" She also said I might not like it. I said... we'll we'll just give it a whirl and if I don't... you'll take it out. She actually smiled. Oh well...I'm a nurse and have worked with surgeons my whole life... just have to work around them I guess.

Then I asked her about band erosion, slipping and vomiting, as I fear vomiting and having complications, i.e slippage/erosion etc. she said, "What are you a vomiter?" Since when did THAT become a noun I wondered. I am not a "vomiter," so I "guess" I'm ok! I heard she encouraged questions... but she didn't seem to like mine. At one point she said... "I'm not going to be your PCP!!" I said "fair enough."

She is known for being a superb surgeon, and I'm ok with her crankiness... but this push for Gastric bypass is really creeping me out!

Next she said, "Fluids for a month you know." I said, yes, I'm aware. She asked if I could do that. I said... it's not Cancer, not a life sentence of illness or fluids, it's a month... I can do most anything for a month. She smiled a little and said... ok, let's book you.

I wanted to hear from her that I'd be successful! That the band was going to be a good tool, etc... instead I felt like I brow beat her into doing it!!! NOT what I expected today.

Any thoughts my friends?

Thanks,

Tracy

[BetsyB 9]

I'm sorry you didn't get what you'd hoped for---but in a sense, I think your surgeon was simply (albeit ineptly) attempting to assess your understanding of what will be required of you postop.

It sounds like you held your own really well!

Banding is not for everyone--it sounds like she was trying to determine whether you're a good candidate. You passed muster.

Hopefully, she'll be wonderful and supportive postop!

[Phranp 46]

Sounds like you knew just what to say to her! YAY Tracy!!

I had back surgery in 2004 and I can no longer run or do strenuous exercise -- but I walk and walk and walk. And with the weight loss I am able to do so much more than before. And my back doesn't hurt. The band is a GREAT tool and you will be successful! I just know it! I've heard a lot of people say that their acid reflux went away after the surgery. Tune this negative surgeon out and keep on truckin'!

All the best to you on your journey!

~F

[cwm812 11]

Tracy,

I've worked in the medical field for 20+ years and like you I've known my fair share of surgeons. They like to fix things and see quick results. The bypass makes sense to them. At my practice, we only see the surgeon for one or two pre-op visits and one post-op visit. For the rest of the appointments and fills, we are managed by a bariatric doctor. This combination works well.

Bottom line, I don't think you have to worry about your surgeon. She will do the surgery, and you feel confident with her skills. If the aftercare isn't great, you can always switch to someone else. She just wanted to make sure that you knew what you were getting into.

Cindy

[joyfulworshipper 0]

Tracy, as a nurse you know that as a rule surgons don't have the best bedside manners. After 35 years of watching and caring for By-pass patients , I knew haveing my internal organs rearranged was not for me.

I commend you for sticking with your decision. It sounds to me like you have the determination to follow the programe and succeed. Blessings:smile2:

[Tracytma 19]

Thanks everyone for your votes of confidence. For a little while after my appt, I was sort of "shell shocked" then after talking with my clinic... they asked me.. "are you sure about your decision?" I said, "Yes, and I'll show her!!" So I felt like I got some gusto back. After reading your posts, I agree I've made the right decision. I realize I may lose a little slower than most if I can not be super woman in the beginning with vigorous exercise.. but I'm hoping as the other Bandster said, that after I lose some weight, my back will hurt less and I will be able to do more and more exercise.

I think what really scared me was that I've failed at many diets, and always failed at keeping the weight off if I did lose the weight.. and she was telling me I may fail here again. That was a hard blow to my "bandster ego" I'm trying to form... but I'm sticking to my "I'll show her" attitude. Pre op diet ... here I come!

[CarolD771 1]

Hi Tracy,

I'm booked for June 16th. We will be same Weeksters !!! I've had some Doctors with Lousy personalities, too. She didn't sugar coat anything. I think alot of people think that surgery is gonna fix everything. And should hear what you heard. I just don't think she new who she was talking to??? :ohmy:

You handled the "Inquisition" perfectly!! You go GIRLFRIEND. Keep us informed.

Best Wishes and Luck,

Carol D'

[illuminationlady 7]

Yes, surgeons are a rare breed. My surgeon got nasty with me one time and I held my own also. After that there's been nothing but high fives and smiles. Once they know you won't back down they seem to gain respect some how. On a side note..getting banded was the smartest thing I ever did. I only wish I'd done it sooner! Best wishes on your journey.

[Tracytma 19]

Tracy,

I've worked in the medical field for 20+ years and like you I've known my fair share of surgeons. They like to fix things and see quick results. The bypass makes sense to them. At my practice, we only see the surgeon for one or two pre-op visits and one post-op visit. For the rest of the appointments and fills, we are managed by a bariatric doctor. This combination works well.

Bottom line, I don't think you have to worry about your surgeon. She will do the surgery, and you feel confident with her skills. If the aftercare isn't great, you can always switch to someone else. She just wanted to make sure that you knew what you were getting into.

Cindy

Cindy.... 165 pounds?!?! I am standing up clapping girl!! :cursing: That number is astounding to me! You are indeed a wonder. Thanks for your kind words! You are an inspiration!

Thanks again,Tracy

[Tracytma 19]

Yes, surgeons are a rare breed. My surgeon got nasty with me one time and I held my own also. After that there's been nothing but high fives and smiles. Once they know you won't back down they seem to gain respect some how. On a side note..getting banded was the smartest thing I ever did. I only wish I'd done it sooner! Best wishes on your journey.

Thank you for your support! You are doing great yourself? Can you tell me, (since we nearly the same age), what do you do for exercise? Do you also journal, count calories etc? Do you happen to know how many calories you eat a day? I thought I wouldn't be counting cal's with this... but it seems the successful ones do... so I'm interested in what is working for people!

Thanks, Tracy

[Tracytma 19]

Hi Tracy,

I'm booked for June 16th. We will be same Weeksters :cursing:!!! I've had some Doctors with Lousy personalities, too. She didn't sugar coat anything. I think alot of people think that surgery is gonna fix everything. And should hear what you heard. I just don't think she new who she was talking to??? :w00t:

You handled the "Inquisition" perfectly!! :cool: You go GIRLFRIEND. Keep us informed.

Best Wishes and Luck,

Carol D'

Carol D! Ha ha... we are weeksters... that's a good one. We need a good name for us June bandsters! Keep in touch, let me know how the pre op diet is going!

[KimDB 0]

I have to say I experienced the same thing before the procedure. I frequently felt as if I were being discouraged from the procedure, or being cross-examined, and I did not appreciate it. I also got a lot of the "you know you have to do this, right?" And if I told them I was following their instructions "mostly" they gave me this big frown and a bit of a hand slap and lecture. I really did not get it, since my "mostly" in one case was related to was I doing fully 30 minutes of exercise a day or fully drinking 64oz of Water a day. I really did not think these things were 100% a huge deal, and from the classes I was going to, from what I was hearing around the room, there were cheaters all around those rooms.

SO, here's what I heard from a friend of mine who is a doctor. He's not in bariatrics, but has had some crossover in his practice. What he said made sense.

(And in advance, sorry if this offends some)

He said that basically when it comes to bariatric patients, we are, as a group, by and large (no pun intended) a bunch of people who are accustomed to sneaking around, hiding, not giving straight answers ... our first reaction for most of our lives as heavy people has been to pretend that our problem is not a problem. We are in good part a "population in denial".

Fortunately by the time most of us get to a bariatric program, we are happy to tell the truth, to finally get it out of our system, give up the ghost and get real, etc. ... but there are always those who are indeed just looking for the next quick fix, and when it doesn't work, they will blame anything but themselves.

Therefore the doctors and surgeons who are "hard" on you ask all the hard questions and don't accept the waffly answers. They need to get you to YES I WILL FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS, not "well, I'll try my best but I'm not sure" .... this is for liability reasons as well as your own health. This is why they are military on us before the procedure. They are covering themselves from all kinds of nondisclosure accusations. Ever notice there is often another witness in the room when they have the meetings where they are "hard" on you?

They don't want to get sued later for having pushed a procedure on you without full information; likewise, they want you to have a good result - it's good for you and it's good for business.

I hope this makes sense - made a lot of sense to me, and I didn't feel so bad when they pushed me at the next appointment. I just said "I know you told me X and I am trying my best to do X and I am confident that every day I am getting closer to X, it's very good advice and you have educated me very well as to what to do." That is what they need to hear.

[illuminationlady 7]

Thank you for your support! You are doing great yourself? Can you tell me, (since we nearly the same age), what do you do for exercise? Do you also journal, count calories etc? Do you happen to know how many calories you eat a day? I thought I wouldn't be counting cal's with this... but it seems the successful ones do... so I'm interested in what is working for people!

Thanks, Tracy

Tracy, I don't exercise much because I need knee replacement on both knees. I really watch what I eat and journaled and measured in the beginning. Now I know how much to eat. I probably eat around 1000 calories a day and that's it. I eat a looooot of Protein and drink a loooooot of Water all day. For Breakfast I have eggbeaters with cheese. For lunch either a salad with meat or refried Beans (small portions) and for dinner I split a chicken breast or fish or steak with hubby and have a half of a baked yam and veggies. My only "treats" are greek style yogurt (super high in protein and low in sugar) with a little honey dribbled on top and once and a while I might have a skinny iced latte at Starbucks. I hope this helps you. Just remember to be strong with your doctor and let him know that you intend to follow his directions. Take care! Dottie

[Tracytma 19]

Tracy, I don't exercise much because I need knee replacement on both knees. I really watch what I eat and journaled and measured in the beginning. Now I know how much to eat. I probably eat around 1000 calories a day and that's it. I eat a looooot of Protein and drink a loooooot of Water all day. For breakfast I have eggbeaters with cheese. For lunch either a salad with meat or refried Beans (small portions) and for dinner I split a chicken breast or fish or steak with hubby and have a half of a baked yam and veggies. My only "treats" are greek style yogurt (super high in protein and low in sugar) with a little honey dribbled on top and once and a while I might have a skinny iced latte at Starbucks. I hope this helps you. Just remember to be strong with your doctor and let him know that you intend to follow his directions. Take care! Dottie

Dottie, thanks so much for taking the time to answer me! I appreciate it as I am going to exercise... but perhaps not one hour a day.. I will start with 3 times a week and build up from that. I've had a few back surgeries and I need to start slowly. My doctor felt without exercise, I wouldn't lose a thing... but I will just show her!!! I will exercise... and I WILL be successful. Thanks for sharing your daily menu. Sounds like a menu I could live on! Keep up the great success! Can't wait to be 50 down, I know my joints will feel soooo much better!

Tra:lol:cy

[joyfulworshipper 0]

Tracima, Exercise has not been my favorite thing, however, I love music and dancing. Just learning a few line dances has been very helpful for me. I get boared with the "high energy vidio stuff". Start small and build. Don't wait for the surgery date start now, just move if only a few min. an hour more than usual. Success is your only option. Go for it.