Newly single and just dont get it!!

[srfrmom 0]

So my divorce is going to be final next week. Ugh! Was married for six years and had my lap band surgery in July of 2008. I started at 256 and as of today I weigh 128. The thing that I don't understand is the fact that my husband cheated on me with a girl who is over 5'10 and weighs just about what I did before surgery. So for me it makes me question myself and wonder if he still sees me as a miserable heavy person or if hes just intimidated by the fact that I have lost so much and he is now heavy. So here I am being a single mom again with a 14 yr old boy a 6 yr old boy and a 5 yr old girl. Moved into a 2 bedroom apartment which the kids have the rooms and I sleep on the couch. Also I haven't worked in 5 years because i've stayed home with the kids so i'm trying to make it work just on child support and alimony. So friggin stressed out right now its ridiculous!!!!!

:confused::confused:

[crzytchr 3]

So my divorce is going to be final next week. Ugh! Was married for six years and had my LAP-BAND® surgery in July of 2008. I started at 256 and as of today I weigh 128. The thing that I don't understand is the fact that my husband cheated on me with a girl who is over 5'10 and weighs just about what I did before surgery. So for me it makes me question myself and wonder if he still sees me as a miserable heavy person or if hes just intimidated by the fact that I have lost so much and he is now heavy. So here I am being a single mom again with a 14 yr old boy a 6 yr old boy and a 5 yr old girl. Moved into a 2 bedroom apartment which the kids have the rooms and I sleep on the couch. Also I haven't worked in 5 years because i've stayed home with the kids so i'm trying to make it work just on child support and alimony. So friggin stressed out right now its ridiculous!!!!!

:cursing::confused::cool::confused:

I am sorry about your situation and the stress you are feeling. Realize that this really probably had very little to do with you and more about his own insecurities. That is something you really don't have much control over. Now, with the kids and money. It sucks that you are now living in an apartment with the kids, I am assuming that could not be avoided.

Make a plan to deal with the stress in a healthy way now, so you don't turn to junk food. Take the kids to the park to play and get some exercise. Take walks and enjoy being outdoors, if possible. Find something you can find joy in that will help you reduce your stress levels.

One of the best types of employment, not technically full time, that you could get is to be a substitute at your child's school. This is, of course, dependent on when your youngest starts preK or K. You work on the days you want to and the pay isn't bad in most places. If it is something you are interested in, call the school board and find out the requirements and if any classes are necessary. That way, you are ready to go when school begins next year. Get your name added to your child's school and other schools close to you, and let them know you are available and interested. Good, steady subs that show up for work are scarce in most places. My school has a list of 10 that we call all the time.

This is a big change for all of you. I hope all goes well.

[purple3797 5]

I can pretty safely say I am sure it is your ex who is insecure and can not deal being with a healthy, happy , confident individual. After you lost the weight he probably felt insecure and maybe even threatned and not able to control you as much since your new found freedom from the excess weight. I am getting banded next month and I often wonder how it will play out with my husband since we are frequently on shaky ground as it is. Look back and ask yourself has he tried to sabatoge your weight loss effores in thre past..before th eband..I know mine has although he will never admit it. Theres comes a point where enough is enough and we can not stay unhealthy just to keep insecure people comfortable. Keep strong and love those kids and they will help you through it buy keeping you busy and showing you love.