Best Friend is so unsupportive!!!

[jen36 1]

My best friend of 13yrs has been so unsupportive of me, I was banded 3 1/2 weeks ago and she did not call or text message me for the first 4 days to even see how I was feeling. Now all that comes out of her mouth is you can just watch your calories and lose it and I say yeah we see how well that was working for me. Now I feel as if I don't even want to be around her at all anymore. She is overweight as well so I think it may be a little bit of jealousy that she's I am losing some weight and working out everyday and eating healthy!!!! I feel like I am losing the best friend that I have, is there anyway to over come this?

[Bandmom 0]

I am so sorry to hear about that. I am very fortunate as my best friend actually had the band over a year ago, so not only does she support me in my decision, but she is an unbelievable resource for helping me adjust.

I am not sure if there is anything you can really do. This is something she has to either decide she wants to overcome or not. Maybe sit her down and tell her how you feel....

[NurseSophie 0]

If she is truly a friend...your BEST friend...this is worth trying to save. You cannot change her and her reactions...but you cannot give up your new path to good health to make her feel better either. The Bible says "a friend loveth at all times". Period. If she isn't able to do that...was she truly a friend? I'm sorry! I know it's hard....but look to people who support you. They are gems!

[NoName-AZ 0]

Unfortunatley these things happen.. WLS affects relationships. When you change your life style, you dont share that commond ground anymore.

This all happened to me as well. My best freind and i hardly speak anymore. A huge "no punn intended" part of our relationship was food. I cant eat like I used to, so our relationship was affected.

She has seen me a couple of times since my WLS, and has never even commented on my progress. As a matter of fact I ran into her at a BBQ last weekend, and she didnt even say a word. Keep in mind she is 200 plus lbs over weight. So i can kind of get it. She is still stuck, which is the way I used to feel. The difference is, I made a decision to change my misery.

I know it sucks to lose friends..relationships will change while your on this journey.. Just keep on keepen on!

[jen36 1]

Oh I am definitely am going to keep going and like I heard some of you say our relationship was alot about food and eating!!!!!!! I have my family's support and all of your support, thanks guys!!!!

[kellie2 0]

Sounds like nothing but jealousy to me. Sorry to hear. Maybe if you hang in there, she will follow your example and get control of her health as well. Hopefully her love for you will overcome her jealous feelings.

Hang in there. If you lose her friendship, just remember it was her choice not yours. You'll make more friends. After weightloss many people say how much more outgoing and approachable they become.

[shannybp 0]

ME and my best friend had some adjusting to do to after my surgery. She was always the thin one so I think she had some comfort in that. We have been friends forever so we finely had it out and said what we both needed to. Things are better now and she is supportive. May be you should try talking to her, if you want to save the relationship because at this point what do you have to lose.

Good luck

[Mrs. Plumpy 0]

Sit her down and talk this out, tell her you're not going to listen to her negativity any more. Tell her she needs to make a choice, either she's going to be positive and supportive or you're not going to be her friend any more. Just lay it all out on the table and get it over with, it will be easier that way.

[Bandmom 0]

Sit her down and talk this out, tell her you're not going to listen to her negativity any more. Tell her she needs to make a choice, either she's going to be positive and supportive or you're not going to be her friend any more. Just lay it all out on the table and get it over with, it will be easier that way.

:thumbup::thumbup:

[bella71 0]

It sounds to me like your friend is jealous. And if she's jealous just a few weeks after your surgery, just think how bad it will get when you start dropping pounds and getting compliments from everyone.

Just nip this in the bud already. If she's not with you, then she's against you. In my own life, I have cut ties with friends who were negative, or made snide remarks. I just don't need that kind of energy in my life. If she comes around and acts like a true friend, then great. But if she keeps up the negativity, then maybe it's best to part ways.

Edited May 27, 2010 by bella71

[HAL380 0]

I really don't think she was a BEST FRIEND. If she were she would be there for you.

On the other hand, since you/we are doing this for ourselves, we should be able to do it with or without others approval/support. I know support is important, but you may have to make this trip without her. Look to your band support groups.

Regards

Hal

[lovelyolemiss 0]

No..no..no..the best things about friends is they don't ALWAYS have to agree with you..you need someone to give you other points-of-views...respect your friend's opinions...but u don't have to like them one bit..if it's obvious you can't talk to her about the surgery find someone else to talk to...like all of us!!! lol.we can relate with you! don't give up your friends due to difference of opinions...but don't accept negative remarks either!