Family/Friends reactions once you have the band?

[luckyfive101 6]

I'm thankful for the encouraging words but even if I never hear one....I needed this LAP-BAND® for my health and had nobody else in mind when I got it...I did it for ME and MY health. Fortunately, I am surrounded by amazing loving supportive people/friends/coworkers. The Bible defines friendship as "a friend loveth at all times"...so if someone is so shallow to walk away because of my success for my health, they weren't my friend. I always tell people how much their encouraging words mean to me and I have never even worried about who wasn't saying anything. Life is too short and this journey is too hard :-)

I LOVE YOUR ATTITUDE! I too did this for me, but my family was NOT SUPPORTIVE (except for my wonderful hubby who has ALWAYS supported and accepted me at any weight/size!),..... My mom told me that was "the most ignorant thing" she had ever heard of! ... My sister told me I was "shallow"... but you know what... I fell a couple of months back (after having lost 90 pounds) and had to have a total knee replacement.... I CANNOT IMAGINE having an extra 90 pounds on top of this surgery... It just doesn't seem possible to survive this thing had I had that extra weight on me... it has been ROUGH! ... Since my surgery, I have stopped my stomach medicine (my hiatal hernia was repaired during surgery), my blood pressure is under control, I am no longer borderline diabetic, and if I never lose another pound, I AM HAPPY AND HEALTHIER THAN I HAVE BEEN IN 20 YEARS! Thank God for this tool! God Bless and hope to see "less of you" soon!

[oceancity4me 0]

Don't you love when people stare because they can tell you have lost but won't comment! The skinny freinds are defintately my best support.

[Bandmom 0]

This is my first post, I have yet to have my band placed and in the very starting phase of the process. I had to post here though because this is one of the prime issues I have with the band.

I have decided not to tell anyone but my husband and my immediate group of girlfriends. Not my expanded group of friends, not my extended family, not even my parents. I may decide this is a mistake and tell them, but I probably won't. I live on the other side of the country as my family so I'm pretty sure I can accomplish this, but part of me still feels like I'm cheating a bit. Logically I know this is untrue- this is a sound decision for my health. I just don't want to encounter any judgement. Most of my family is heavier than me and either struggling with their weight or not. I don't know...

I hope you can do it. I didn't want anyone to know but one person let it slip to another and so on, till everyone knows. I am really more than a little upset about it to the point that I just want to scream sometimes. EVERYONE has something to say, and not all of them are nice or supportive. It is my decision, MINE, so back off.:thumbup:

But I would have loved it to have it kept to just me and my husband.

[MaggieB 6]

My immediate family knows and one friend knows about my decision - and my one friend actually had gastric bypass about 5 years ago and is very supportive of my decision.

Others that I have mentioned I was "thinking" about lap band have not been supportive - I have had comments of "you are not fat enough" etc. I also have heard all of the horror stories from everyone.

I don't want people to be questioning me or judging me about my decision. So I am going to keep quiet about it.

[Bandmom 0]

My immediate family knows and one friend knows about my decision - and my one friend actually had gastric bypass about 5 years ago and is very supportive of my decision.

Others that I have mentioned I was "thinking" about LAP-BAND® have not been supportive - I have had comments of "you are not fat enough" etc. I also have heard all of the horror stories from everyone.

I don't want people to be questioning me or judging me about my decision. So I am going to keep quiet about it.

You go girl. That is my only regret on all this. I just wish all those others didn't know I did this....

[girl55 5]

NurseSophie,

I really love your last post. Your right life is too short to worry what other people think. My whole family knows and are so supportive. They know how miserable I've been all my life and are so happy for me. It makes me want to go and shout it out. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

[Jachut 487]

Don't you love when people stare because they can tell you have lost but won't comment! The skinny freinds are defintately my best support.

I've not encountered any real negativity - but I have encountered some people who are "funny" around me and they dont even know i have a band.

Sadly, its fat women, who are often the first to cry discrimination against themselves, that exhibit a mean and jealous attitude. I'm not allowed to join a general conversation about body insecurities, for example, without eyerolling of the "what would YOU know" kind. Because they think I'm a naturally thin person. I cant leave lunch or dinner on my plate because apparently I do that just to show them up.

Its not blatant, and nasty, its more of a you can tell what people are thinking. These are not close friends, just part of a wider social group, it doesnt bother me at all, but I definitely think that people who ARE comfortable with their own bodies (thin or fat) and their own lives and achievements are generally tolerant of and supportive of others' choices.

[Drasan 23]

Before I had surgery, my husband was really scared for me. Since surgery, he has been awesome and seems very proud of me.

Some members of my family, whom I have dieted with previously and attended Weight Watcher's meetings with, are acting a little strange. It's like they're watching me. I laugh because I think I might be their test dummy. If it works for me, maybe they will follow.

It's hard to know what other people are thinking. I'm going to assume the best. I'm VERY happy and everyone can see that.

[misscristie 0]

I have encountered my first bit of snarkyness! I was really taken aback by it.

A friend of mine from my old hometown sent me a picture of a plateful of food that she was having while one a trip. It looked AMAZING! I told her she was killing me because I was on a liquid diet due to being banded. (I'll shout it from the rooftops. At this point, I don't care who knows!)

Her response, instead of what I expected, was more like "Wow, why did you do that?" She knows about my diabetes, my high blood pressure, my extreme obesity, etc. She also knows that I had a miscarriage last year that tore my life apart for a while thanks to my weight and other health issues.

When I told her because I felt like even if I lost all of the weight on WW, that I was destined to gain it back. She basically said, "Well, if that's what you felt like you needed to do, then ok."

She's usually a very kind, very loving, very supportive person. She also has a weight problem, so I had expected her to be happy for me. She wasn't mean or anything, just kind of like whatever.

It bothered me a bit, I have to admit. Hopefully, she'll come around eventually. But, at the end of the day, this is for me and my family. If she continues to be snarky about it, I'll just have to sever that tie. If you can't be happy/proud/whatever of me for saving my own life by having a procedure done, then I don't need you in my life.

[s.smith 0]

I chose not to tell anyone but my immediate family and my work friends because a close work friend is doing it too. Now another person from work is having it done in Mexico, she is a size 12 and dont need the surgery. It is rather amazing to watch how others react. None the less, I am excited about my decision and look forward to reaching my goal!