Lisa Marie C 0 Posted November 20, 2005 Hey all... I cannot hold this in any longer. My husband left me 4 weeks ago and I am in my own personal hell. We have been together for 10 years, Married for 6 1/2 and have 2 beautiful girls. Sure we have had our normal couple problems but for him to up and leave me!!! I was completely blind sided. At first he said he would go to counseling but now he won't even go. I just need advice and support. I have been eating everything I can get my hands on this week and I need to get control. I am down 47 lbs and do not want to take a step backwards. I think I deserve an explanation from him and he won't even do that. He just blaims EVERYTHING on me. Please help!!! Love Always, Lisa Marie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fee 0 Posted November 20, 2005 im so sorry to hear that he has just left u like that there has to be some sort of explanation to which he should let u know why he left. you have 2 chn, maybe he just wants some time out to think things over and will talk to u when hes ready. dont take ur stress out on food, i know its hard to say cause we all do it. just give him some time and im sure he will let u know why Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mousecrazy 2 Posted November 20, 2005 (((((Hugs))))))) I have no idea what to say that would make a bit of difference. I just want you to know that we care. Hang in there! Post when you can. Cindy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Parvathi 2 Posted November 20, 2005 Oh Lisa, *hugs*!!! I wish I had some advice for you, but honestly, I suck at relationship stuff myself. Just know that you're in my thoughts and if you need to talk, we're all here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NJChick 3 Posted November 20, 2005 Lisa I'm so sorry this happened to you. Do you think its because of the band? Is he afraid of your weight loss ? Just throwing ideas out here. We're here for you... **HUGS** Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vinesqueen 2 Posted November 20, 2005 when my ex husband left, it was like that. I was blindsided to, but I suppose I had warning, I just didn't recognize it. I know how bad my pain was, so I imagine you are in similar misery. I'm so very sorry to hear about this. Put the food away, it didn't help you before, it isn't going to help now. Get yourslef to a therapist who can help you lean new coping skills for your grief. don't sink to his level, obviously, he cannot be a grown-up about this. (((((hugs)))) even though that isn't enough. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dylansmom 27 Posted November 21, 2005 Sorry that he did this, and I hope that everything works out for the best for you and your girls. We're here for you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dutchgrl59 2 Posted November 21, 2005 Lisa Marie, I'm here for you. In 2002, I discovered that my husband cleaned out our 401K. What I didn't understand at the time was that when he went on business trips he would "entertain himself"... uhhhh clubs and since I controlled the checkbook he couldn't ask me for money. Unfortunately, taking retirement money has completely robbed me of my future.... regardless. That was just the beginning of my roller-coaster. My youngest son was just 2 years post op for his open-heart and I thought all my troubles were behind me. At the time I had 2 ten-year old twins, a 7 year old and the baby was 2. If this happened to you 4 weeks ago you shouldn't be suffering in silence. Please PM me. I truly believe that what happened to me wasn't some cosmic accident and I have survived..... you will too. So, here's my hand.... I want to help. Your Sister, Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HarleyNana 10 Posted November 21, 2005 Sorry your DH couldn't handle the excitement of a new you. Fortunately, you have a new friend, maybe not a lover, but your band will help you through this time as well as the gang here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wendiss 0 Posted November 21, 2005 I agree w/Mousecrazy. I really doubt if there is anything any of us here can say to you that will make this go away. Whatever you may think, your husband leaving is not your fault. Just remember we will always be here for you to vent to. Instead of using your hands to put something in your mouth use them to type posts to us Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CandySmooch 0 Posted November 21, 2005 oh honey! damn men and their non-explanations! we as women need answers and men find it so easy to deprive us of this small token its the least they can do for all that we've done for them. women need closure, men just move on. yes there is nothing any of us can say but we will be your wings to lift you up in your time of need and to keep you floating until you are strong enough to take over again on your own and you will my friend....you will may you find the simple blessings in everyday during your time of need. please post often and stay away from the food - just think with every sweet bite you are giving him more power! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs Sabre 1 Posted November 21, 2005 Like others, I wish I had some pearls of wisdom that would have this all make sense and hurt less, but I don't. You're in our thoughts and prayers. I agree with Vinesqueen, a therapist can help you through this. Stay busy with your children, and keep up posted. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
banded_for_life 2 Posted November 21, 2005 Hey Lisa, my thoughts and prayers are with you sweetie. On Jan. 31, 2000 it took me until 8pm that night to realize that my husband of 9 years had abandoned me and our 2 year old daughter. I didn't know where he went or spoke to him for two months afterward.(He had gone back to his ex-wife.) When he finally bothered to contact me, it was to assure me that it was all my fault. My self-esteem was in the toilet as well as our finances. All that being said, I just wanted you to know you are not alone and to please don't turn for food for comfort. Get with family, talk it out, cry, scream, go buy a blow up clown and beat the stuffing out of him, but don't use food. In the end it won't help, believe me. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to pm me. *hugggs* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lovecats85 2 Posted November 21, 2005 I don't know what I can say that would help you emotionally (b/c I can't give you a hug),,, but as far as logically, I can tell you that I work for a family law firm, and I deal with divorce all the time. It is an emotionally and financially draining thing and your husband is a total jerk to just up and walk out without warning. I know things suck right now but I can PROMISE YOU without a doubt that things will get better, and you will end up being a happier, healthier, better person for it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porclndoll 0 Posted November 21, 2005 Girl, you and I have had a couple of conversations about this. I have half of my stuff packed and out the door as we speak. My husband just stopped coming home from work one night.. Now he comes and goes as he pleases, I dont know when hes coming and when he isn't but we have agreed that this is over and my son and I are moving out. I turned to food too. I ate and ate and ate, making some really bad decisions diet wise. I actually gained two pounds this week, and Im not going to let him do it to me!! I have to turn this stress around and turn it into something constructive. I have spent a lot of time on this computer. I am reconnecting with old friends...I am going to bed earlier!!! And I got me on some meds to help me with the stress. We have been married 10 1/2 years...we have been together 15 years!! We have one son, and we just couldn't see eye to eye. You will be okay~ Your kids will be okay~ You are stronger than you think~ Im stronger than I think~ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
