thought he was coming around

[karmaandkismet 0]

My husband was vehemently opposed to me having the surgery when I first brought up. After a few arguments, I told him that this was something I needed to do for myself. It would mean a lot to me if he were to be supportive, but I was going to do it even if he wasn't. I thought he had started to warm up to the idea. We don't really "discuss" it a lot. He did go to a seminar with me and ended up giving the surgeon the Spanish inquisition. Yesterday when I had my nutrition consult the doctor even said to me "I didn't think he was going to let you do this." Last night I told my husband that I was going to be starting my supervised diet today. He said "Who is supervising you?" but he said it in a very sarcastic tone. When he stopped at the grocery yesterday, he didn't ask if I needed anything for the diet. He knows I've been to my pcp, two seminars, the nutritionist, running all over the metro atlanata area gathering up my papers to support my weight loss attempts and general health history. I am scared that he's going to try to sabotage me. I know I'm the one who makes the decisions about what I put in my mouth, but it makes it that much harder when he asks me why i don't want to go get ice cream or why don't i want to go out and eat Pasta.< /p>

[kellyjoiii 19]

Karmaandkismet,

This sounded like you might be married to my husband. He was not on board (being an average weight all his life he has no clue) however, as it go closer to my surgery (I did everything you did. Kept pluggin along with the requirements and getting the stuff done ALONE, that he finally came to and realized I meant business. After the surgery, he was much better, he went to the store for me...he got me stuff for my eating, and so forth, but it was harder in the beginning. He is scared. That's what I say. Scared something is going to happen to you, or maybe he is scared that you are going to "Change" after you get healthy. Have you tried to talk to him about his feelings? Let him know that you are going through with it anyhoo, and you want his support. It might take a little bit of hurt, but in the end, I am sure it will be worth it. Need some sounding, come back to us. Just keep on keepion on...you will be much happier (I am 14 days post of and down as many lbs) We are here for you. If he keeps bringing the stuff home, just try your best to stay away from it. Moderation or a lil bit I can say will change his aspect a little too I think. Mine brought home a cake for mothers day. I wont lie, I had a small SMALL piece and sent it to work with him the next day. He was fine with it. Good Luck! K

[mousek 4]

Hello, sorry to hear that you are not getting support. Hopefully things will change. There is a lot of support on this forum and maybe it would be best to check in here often. I rely heavily on this forum and it really helps and is a place I look forward to visiting because of the great support.:smile2:

[jensmallwood 0]

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband isn't being supportive. That makes things so much harder for you.

Have you asked him WHY he doesn't want you to do this? Is he scared that you'll be hurt during the surgery? Is he worried that you'll get all thin and hot and leave him? Is he overweight and worried that you'll nag him to get the surgery, too? Maybe if you try to find out WHY he's so upset about it, you can make some inroad into winning his support.

Otherwise, I'd recommend a therapist (I'm a big believer in therapy.) If he'll go with you, maybe you can get to the root of the issue- if he won't, maybe the therapist can help you learn to deal with your husband's lack of support.

Good luck with this, and please know that we are here for you!