Need a little Support and Advice

[takingcontrol 0]

Hi Everyone,

I am new here and am going through the doctor and insurance requirenments before my surgery. I am super excited to start my new life!

I have one small issue, my ex. We are in the process of trying to get back together and I don't know how to tell hime about this. I don't think he will be supportive and I don't know how that will affect me.

I was wondering if anyone had some adivice on telling him.

(small background: we have a 3 year old together and have dated since high school)

I appreciate all of you help.

The decision was easy, this isn't.

[lauragshsu 6]

Why don't you think your Ex will be supportive? Without knowing any details, I would say to be up front with him. Tell him you're doing it to better yourself, and if he can't accept it, accept what you're doing for yourself, than you can't accept him.

[time for mom 0]

I have to agree with Laura. If your ex would not be supportive something that would improve your health and self esteem or even just be supportive of your desires and dreams - then why would you want to reconcile with this person?

[takingcontrol 0]

You are both right! Thank you.

I guess I needed to hear it from someone else.

Thanks so much!!

[gsdosbourne 0]

Hi Everyone,

I am new here and am going through the doctor and insurance requirenments before my surgery. I am super excited to start my new life!

I have one small issue, my ex. We are in the process of trying to get back together and I don't know how to tell hime about this. I don't think he will be supportive and I don't know how that will affect me.

I was wondering if anyone had some adivice on telling him.

(small background: we have a 3 year old together and have dated since high school)

I appreciate all of you help.

The decision was easy, this isn't.

It took a good while for my husband to be on board with me about me getting surgery done. I had been talking about it for 6 months or more. He kept saying, "you are taking the easy way out." Honestly I don't think it is going to be the easy way out, I have been watching these threads for some time now and I see everything that we have to go through to get what we want. I have been researching and researching and he is just now finally agreed that I do need this help. I look at it as though it is just a little tool that is going to help you!

I agree with everyone, just be honest with him, either he is going to accept it or forget what you all had (don't know what it was), but most of all he should be behind you because you are wanting to better your life. And no matter what he should love you for who you are not for what surgery you had!

Good luck with everything! You are making the right decision! :crying:

[crecia1975 4]

I agree with everyone else about being up front and honest. If you want to be with this person, and he wants to be with you, talking about this should not be a big deal. A man that loves you will want you to be happy. My husband didn't bat an eye when I told him I wanted to be banded. He just wants me to be happy and healthy and that's what you need from your partner. Don't settle for less.

[Mommy2Ps 4]

My two cents.

There is a reason you aren't together. Take that combined with the sentence that he won't be supportive and I say MOVE ON. He can still be a part of your child's life without having to have any imput on yours. Remember, this is for YOUR health and for your child to have a mom.

Honestly, don't be surprised if he wants to be all supportive and lovey when you're all skinny. That's when you REALLY need to get over him and move on! :biggrin: Good luck!!

Edited May 13, 2010 by Mommy2Ps

[CrystalLL 0]

I am new to this too this website too. I actually had my surgery 11/09. My husband and I went back and forth over this. I told him that I thought this was the best choice for me and I really wanted him to support me. I told him that I want to grow old with him and that I need to be healthier and this will help me get there. You can tell your ex that you want to see your child grow up and you want to be healthier too. You need to tell him that you need him to be on-board with this as this will affect your entire family.