To Tell or Not to Tell?

[2beskinny 4]

I would not tell your office workers if you can get away with it. Let them be jealous of your youth and your weightloss all at the same time! They sound like they don't have your best interest at heart and I think that is the litmus test for deciding who to tell. It really is none of your boss' business either. You can tell him that you are having surgery, but he does not have to know the reason why. If he presses you - tell him it's female related...that's usually enough to get get men to stop asking questions :smile2:

[Mommy2Ps 4]

You're right, it isn't any of his business, and maybe I will second guess that one. I will let him know of a medical issue that needs to be addressed. That's the truth, isn't it?!?!

I think my co-workers (ladies) would be supportive to my face, but then not be so nice behind my back. I don't know, they could surprise me. What we do have here is two severly obese people at work (we're talking like 450+ and 600+) and I think unfortunately they might get the spotlight focused on them to "go do what she did". Know what I mean? That's on them and I won't concern myself with their weight issues. I have my own to deal with! LOL

Edited May 13, 2010 by Mommy2Ps

[laptabanda 0]

I fill the more people you tell, the more pressure on you. I only told my immediate family living in my home. You can always decide to tell more people in the future if you want, but you can't unring a bell.

[Rebrph 0]

I know how you feel, I haven't told everyone, just friends and co-workers. This is probably going to sound strange but I haven't told my parents and I have been banded since 8/2008. I love them but they have never been very supporting in the weight loss area.

[KS_sxychoc 0]

A couple of years ago when I first started thinking about it, I let my mother know. I've made alot of lifestyle changes since then but she has no idea that I've started the process.

I just told my daughter and she thought it was cool. I have a few co-workers that know, one of them has already had hers done a year ago.

So what it comes down to is...the family really has no clue and we're getting ready to schedule my surgery. I think I'll tell my mother the week before she has to take me for the surgery,

Why haven't I told anyone? Don't want to be bothered with the questions!!!

[OnAMission 0]

I have recently started the process.....getting all the clearences need to be banded. I am very excited and have told a few folks. Most feedback has been positive, I have had some people say I didn't need it.....but they are not taking several insilin shots a day and meds for high blood pressure either. Yes I too get tired sometimes of educating folks, but the realization is, if my experiances can help someone else......then so be it. Won't yell from roof tops but will tell when asked or necessary.

[susi1662 3]

I am so excited about this life change that I am making that I am telling everyone that I know who will listen to be anyway!

I just posted in my status message on Facebook that I have decided to do it, and how positive that I feel ever since I made the decision.

I am on disability right now, and all I did for the past 4 years is sit around and become a hermit. I never went out unless I had to, and that was even a struggle at times! A lot of the weight that I have now has been gained in those days.

I am now eating better, exersizing and my outlook on life is changing for the positive. I don't care what other people think, as I am doing this for me, and for my personal well being! I am on a journey towards a new life of being healthy!

[OnAMission 0]

You go girl, I agree with you......this is such a positive journey we have started. After a lot of research and questions, once I made the decission, I have not looked back. I am so excited I can't wait to give my banded since date. lol

good luck to you!!!!!

[Anewoutlook 0]

I've only told family and 2 close friends who dont know each other at all. I refuse to tell my other four friends because they have never struggled with their weight and have made negative comments about people having the surgery. Also, i would have been completely annoyed with explaining it to them. That would have really drove me crazier than anything else. Ive been doing well hiding it from them so far. My inlaws are here right now so its perfect cause I haven't been able to hang out with them in this beginning phase of my banding where i can only eat soft foods.

[dk4k 15]

This seems to be one of my hardest decisions right now, who to tell...I share the feelings of many of you who don't want to be judged OR have someone try to talk me out of the surgery. I know why I need it, but being a private person, don't really want to discuss those reasons with everyone. My husband and I will tell our children and our mothers. I can tell you right now that his mother will not be okay with it...she hates doctors and it only goes downhill from there.

I am open to the idea of telling people later on, when my weight loss is evident. I have a friend who was banded, and she has been very open to answering my questions. I'd like to pass that on to someone if the opportunity arises.

[Taterbugsmom 0]

IMO- Tell as few people as possible. I told pretty much everyone and I'm sorry to say I regret it. It annoys me to to no end when I get comments about how much I have lost 'because' of the band. I pretty much had little to no restriction up until my last fill a week ago so the 60 lbs I have lost (so far ) has all been MY hard work exercising & dieting. The only thing the band has done to this point is lead me to this site where I have received some great advice on eating properly until I get restriction and there after.

I got laid off from work the day I started my pre-op diet & just returned 2 weeks ago. Of course everyone asked how did I do it & I reply a lot of exercise & dieting, then I mention the word lap-band and I get a sighed "ohhhh". If I hadn't told so many I was doing it I would leave the surgery part out of the conversation but I assume they know, they just want to see what I'll say? I always feel the need to defend my hard work, maybe it's just me?

Anyhoot, my advice would be tell only those that truly love you and care about your health & well being and know of your struggles with your weight. Whomever you tell be prepared to educate them on all you know about the band because they will have 5 million questions, opinions and advice. Best of luck to us all!!!!!

[angelfizz 0]

... I seem to be fulfilling my destiny...I keep getting bigger. By choosing surgery I feel like I am trying to jump off a moving train headed for disaster. Part of me feels like I'm leaving my parents on the train, though. Maybe that's why I can't imagine telling them. I somehow feel I am betraying them by choosing a different path for myself....what an incredibly complicated mix of circumstances and emotions that have brought us all here.

Hey you! You know they would probably be elated, relieved and ecstatic you are are doing something with your weight as, as they sound so loving and caring, they would want only the best for you. And we all know how restrictive with life this weight issue can be!

I would have been in a totally different place if I'd been slim all my life - hobbies, friends, men work - it's sad but this shifted sense of 'disabled normality' that comes to be our lives; is a life with subconscious 'ooh can't do this/ that cos I'm too big' attitude which gets introdden in day-to-day... the alter life with 'what could have been's is pointless.... We are all still here though - so pat on your back for TRYING to change this 'normality status' for the better. Cos it is restrictive.

As for telling peeps about the band?

I will not keep it a secret if asked - but I won't shout otherwise.

I nearly kept it secret - ashamed for not being able to sort it out with pure diets - but no: I read someone's blog and he was right!:

Weight - but more importantly my 'treat/ food' process has been my private/ hurtful/ comforting companion all my life; to keep this op secret on top of my habits have been would add to to my wierdness and therefore let my companion win through the secrecy factor. In other words: I'm halting a vicious circle - plus when friends say 'how are you doing' re the band - I can honestly talk about it - something I was never asked or able to talk about when getting fatter!!!

Love to you all - lets shed these shells and let the world see what we knew all along... xxx

[Anewoutlook 0]

I agree with you! And just like you I have no restriction right now. I don't understand it. I hope everything is okay. The scale starting back moving so I'm guessing its fine. I can't wait til my one month post op appt to be sure.

[YanaBanana 0]

I am, personally, not planning to tell anyone besides my husband as he is the one taking me to the hospital. Not even the kids. No one needs to know. And this is no ones business why I am losing the weight. I am losing and this is what matters nothing else.

[Amanda1982 142]

I haven't been banded yet but I have been telling ppl that I've been considering it...Big mistake. Not everyone is being supportive. It hurts a little so I've decided to stop talking about it and just do it. When I at my goal weight if they ask then I will share.

Edited October 20, 2010 by acalvin