To Tell or Not to Tell?

[2beskinny 4]

Hi to all who are "new" to this (including me). I'm curious about how everyone feels about telling folks...I don't want to tell anyone, but I'm trying to look hard at the reasons why. My weight battle has always been so internal for me. I am surrounded by great family and friends, but I will admit I feel a bit like I've failed to have to resort to these measures. How does everyone else feel?

[FattyCakes 0]

Hi to all who are "new" to this (including me). I'm curious about how everyone feels about telling folks...I don't want to tell anyone, but I'm trying to look hard at the reasons why. My weight battle has always been so internal for me. I am surrounded by great family and friends, but I will admit I feel a bit like I've failed to have to resort to these measures. How does everyone else feel?

I feel embarrassed that I want it... I told my hubby that if I got it, I'd like to keep it a secret unless I just have to tell them. I feel like I couldn't do it on my own and I was weak. :biggrin:

[waynooo 1]

I wanted to keep it to myself. So I only told my Wife and my Mom. Telegraph, telephone, tell my wife:lol:! She blabbed to everyone, come to find out the only ones she didn't tell was my brother and my best friend! So after the surgery I didn't mind telling people, those that were left. I think in the beginning I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself. But I have had nothing but positive feed back from friends and coworkers. So tell, don't tell, it really only matters to you.

[Nean4488 1]

I told my mom.

She told my brother, brothers gf, aunt, grandpa and grandma and then my grandma blabbed it last night to my uncle.

I am ok with that because they will notice the way I am eating changes and that I am losing weight, I just wish I didn't have to hear the negative comments from them beforehand.

I havent told my dad yet and I really dont have a reason for that, guess I am just scared to tell him. I also have told my best friends because even though they are friends, i still dont want to be judged if the weight doesnt come off as quickly as they are expecting it too.

I start a new job a week after surgery so im just hoping they think im just losing weight once they see it happening.

I feel that once I am 50 pounds shy of my goal weight I will tell people that I am close with how I did it, but until then I am going to keep it as private as I can

[Thewall26 0]

Hi to all who are "new" to this (including me). I'm curious about how everyone feels about telling folks...I don't want to tell anyone, but I'm trying to look hard at the reasons why. My weight battle has always been so internal for me. I am surrounded by great family and friends, but I will admit I feel a bit like I've failed to have to resort to these measures. How does everyone else feel?

I guess for me, I really didn't care who knew about it, so I told anyone that would listen. Now granted I wasnt walking up to complete strangers and saying hey guess what.

I knew why I was doing this, and it was to benefit me and my family. The way I look at it is you need all the support you can get, and friends and family should be there for you. If they cant back you in your decision then you don't really need them in your life.

[Thewall26 0]

I feel embarrassed that I want it... I told my hubby that if I got it, I'd like to keep it a secret unless I just have to tell them. I feel like I couldn't do it on my own and I was weak. :biggrin:

Dont feel embarrassed. I know i can be difficult not to feel like that, but your doing it for you, and the ones you love. My only problem is that I wish I would have done it sooner I was killing my self before. I was on 8 meds from high BP to diabetes to high cholesterol. now I am on nothing and I I we it all to my Band.

[lauragshsu 6]

At first, I didn't want to tell anyone I was even considering the surgery. I felt like it would be saying I'm a failure at doing this (weight loss) myself. That changed when I told my mom, and she was VERY happy for me, very happy I was making a decision for my health. I'll tell (almost) everyone now.

The only people I've had a negative reaction from were people in a plus sized clothing store. I went in to buy some summery shirts and told one of the women I felt really swollen in my abdomen (I look oddly pregnant at times). She asked why, and when I told her I had WLS, the friendliness shut off. My gosh, I'm a size 22 right now (down from a 24!), and I'll probably STILL be shopping in the plus sized stores for a little while yet.

[BRathman 0]

I wasn't ashamed to tell anyone. I personaly think that we are strong for doing this!Look at what we all have to give up..... soda, coffee, BEER(LOL), corn, peanuts, popcorn, Pasta, the list goes on! People may think this is easy but it isn't. Lets just say that this is much better for us than the yo yo diets and diet pills! I was banded May 3rd 2010 and have lost 10 lbs so far. SO I say put your head up high and be proud you are strong enough to do something about your weight!!! Good Luck!

[BANDIT GIRL 1]

I am on the side of telling. Although at times I have regretted telling people when people are in my mouth when I am eating. I don't think anyone should be ashamed of having surgery. You have worked hard to get the weight off plenty of times as we all have with no permenant success. You are not taking the easy way out as I have heard (mostly people who've NEVER had a weight problem) say. This takes just as much hard work as doing it without sugery but with real results. If I didn't have success or end up gaining it all back I am the only one who has to pay for it. I don't feel like I have to answer to anyone but myself. It really doesn't matter how we lose the weight as long as we do it healthy and the we feel better, resolve our health issues and look better and gain self esteem that we all deserve to have. You all are doing a potentially dangerous thing to help you get to your wt loss goal so be proud of yourselves! Just do what you have learned and what the Dr. has said and you will be successful! I wish you all luck!

[chachis 0]

At first it was hard to tell people I did not want anyone to know about the surgery because i was kind od embarrased so I only told my mom and sisters but my husband told some of his family i waS a liitle upset but i knew that they would eventually notice at family parties so it ended up being the best thing to do, they are supportive and they do not judje me. I don't blurt it out to all of my co-workers but the ones that I am closer to I have told. I do think it is important to tell others that might have weight problems so we can help them make a good decision,personally I am very happy with the lap band. Chachis

:biggrin:

[2beskinny 4]

All good points talked about on here. I think the problem I have with telling people (other than the fact that it goes against my private nature) is that I don't have many fat friends. For the most part, they are all really active and trim (work out a lot!). One of my really good friends is a personal trainer/exercise instructor and has told me she really likes to help people (one of her favorite classes that she teaches is to seniors). Problem is...I know her too well and I know she is a gossip :biggrin: Don't get me wrong - I love her to death - but I know the drill when you have a gossipy friend Guess I will take this decision in stages. Part of me realizes how easy it would be if those around me all knew...I keep thinking of how differently I will be eating after I have bounced back from the surgery. I read something that says - food should be cut into small bits - about the size of a fingernail....Huh? That would look weird in a group outing at a restaurant. I'm already planning on ordering a lot of Soup when I go out to eat with people after my life-change!

[time for mom 0]

A girl at work had it done before me and she tried to keep it private -- Long story short It eventually came out and no one judged her for it. In fact, it was one of the things that gave me the courage to go for it. Plus my children know and they are 10 and 12 and have absolutely no clue what it means to keep a secret (unless it involves hiding their crimes LOL). So I knew everyone would know sooner or later and I just let everyone know what I was up to - They have all been nonjudgemental and supportive.

[bamagirl64 0]

For me, I have told people. Before the surgery I told my parents and a few others. And now afterwards, I've told more. I'm not ashamed of having the surgery but was ashamed at how I let myself get this way. I am so proud that I have finally put myself first for a change and taking control of my life... and the rest of my life. I've only had positive feedback from everyone. Funny thing is I really thought someone you say "hey you don't need it" but no one did. I knew I was making the right choice and will glad spread the word to help others take control of their lives as well.

[JustJude 0]

I was happy to see this post as I too have been struggling with telling. I guess the biggest reason I didn't want to tell was "what if I fail again", maybe even this won't help me lose the weight? Then the internal struggle about keeping it a secret began to eat at me, because it really is difficult to explain why you are only drinking Optifast shakes for two weeks and can't go out to eat with friends (I have not had my band yet - May 18th). My future daugher in law's shower and stagette is the weekend after my procedure. Her Mom and sister as well as her and her bridesmaid are all staying here...how am I gonna explain the fact that I can't drink with them or eat any of the goodies at the shower? Right now the only ones who know are my husband and my kids (who are all grown up and support me in this). I guess I feel that it really isn't anyone else's business and I don't care what they think about it...but I don't want to hear it either. This is about my life and my ability to lose weight and if they knew how hard this is, I would hope they would understand.:scared2:

[asteenho 0]

I told all my coworkers, and my immediate family knows. It's not a secret, but it's not the first thing i'm going to tell others, either.