feeling down and unmotivated in months leading to surgery date

[Hephania 0]

Hey, im a 19 year old Kiwi, and tomorrow I find out the date for my surgery, I hear itll be in july or august, but lately I’ve been feeling very down and I’m not sure why. I’m excited about surgery and everything, but I have always been extremely sensitive about my weight and had low self esteem, and instead of getting more confident on the months leading up to surgery, I have felt exactly the opposite. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like, whats the point of going out and about until I have my surgery? At least before I considered surgery, the issue of my weight was one that I knew was there, but could ignore, but now its absolutely set in stone, that I am overweight enough to get surgery and I find myself feeling very down a lot and no motivation to do anything really, I’m at university very very part time, and have four days off, but am too self conscious to get a job, at least until after surgery. Its like I’m anticipating this big change, and hate waiting in this fat body of mine until the surgery happens. I feel almost like I’ve given up on myself and I don’t know why!Did ANYBODY else feel this way before getting lapband surgery or is it just me?Would really appreciate any advice or similar stories xx

[Sooz 0]

Hephania, I am 55 years old and new to this.. don't even have a surgery date set up yet, but just to share some feelings...

I remember being your age at the beach one day in shorts and a tank top, planning yet another diet with a girlfriend, both of us vowing to never be "fat and 30". Dozens of diet plans later, my weight (and self esteem!) yoyo'ing like mad, I was finally there - fat and 30.

I am not sure I would have been brave enough to commit to lapband surgery at your age, though I am quite sure I would have led a happier and healthier life. At 55 I feel like I don't have a lot to lose socially, meaning limiting myself at parties and basic food fests. I'm sure there will be times when I will feel deprived and sorry for myself, but I am looking forward to a new life, healthier both mentally and physically. I refuse to be fat and 60! :biggrin:

[Nean4488 1]

I understand where you are coming from. Although it doesnt seem as bad as yours, but I hate going out. I do go to school and work though, school sometimes suck when those little desks are in the room that i barely fit in! But I do hate going out anywhere because i always think people will be looking at me and judging me and talking about me. It has gotten worse since I knew I was getting this surgery, i seemed to also push everyone out of my life, telling myself that it doesnt matter now cuz one day ill be skinny and ill have lots of confidence and I can make new friends... It does suck and I wish I had something to make you feel better but I dont :-(

[perryjoyce 0]

I agree with Sooz, I don't think I would have been brave enough to commit to this at such a young age, but boy do I wish I had. I've been fighting myself for ten years now.

I do kinda feel the same way as far as not really caring right now. My surgery is on Friday and I've been waking up these last few mornings and just throwing the easiest articles of clothing on and running out the door. I've had to try so hard in the past to try and cover up or distract from the fat, but now I feel like I'm just biding time until I no longer have to do that anymore. So it's hard to put forth the effort. I just feel fatigued by the thought.

A wide variety of emotions is perfectly normal right now. You're about to commit to a big lifestyle change. Only you can know if it's right for you, but honestly, I admire your bravery for making such an important decision. I really wish I had done the same at your age. Just use this time to read up on everything to expect, research other bandsters experiences, and I promise the time will fly by and your new life will begin before you know it.

[Sooz 0]

There are many people I love unconditionally, and it's sad to think that they might avoid parties and get-togethers because of self-esteem issues. I can't say much though, since I do it myself. I traveled 3000 miles to go to my 10th HS reunion. Do you think it's coincidence that I was 50 lbs thinner at that time than I had been in high school? I know my loved ones feel the same and they act baffled when I avoid pictures, etc.

[girl55 5]

i too am 55. I was banded march 16. In the weeks leading up to surgery, I felt somewhat the same. I didn't want to socialize because I didn't like myself. I was at my highest weight ever - 265. but I've came to the conclusion that I will never be able to do this on my own. If I could have had the surgery at 20, I think I would have. I feel like I still have time to enjoy a slim, healthy life. But you have even many, many more years. You will have to make the decision yourself. But it's not death sentence, but a life sentence, meaning a longer, healthy life. Weight has always been my enemy and kept me away from the social light. Don't let it do that to you.

[smcgill721 0]

I think I know how you feel. I'm 26 and have been fighting with my weight for a long time. I started working at home a few moths ago and I now find it hard to go around people that I know. I'm at the very begginning if the process. I go to the seminar tomorrow, May 12. I feel like I don't want to be seen until after my surgery and I've lost a few pounds. I prefer to be around other fat people as not to be judged. All I can say though, is to find someone close to you to talk to and if you don't have anyone, that's what your fellow bandsters are for!! :scared2: We all support you.

[Hephania 0]

Oh wow guys, thanks for all your support. I found out my surgery date is on the 25th of June, so its pretty soon. I just wish I didn't have to admit I was one of those people who was ashamed of myself and my weight even though i know by getting surgery im taking control etc etc. Some people may be happy and confident knowing that a change is coming, but i think that perryjoyce had it right by saying that biding the time until surgery is really all I feel like doing now. I suddenly feel like i just dont want to see anybody at all that i know until Ive lost weight, which is weird because before i considered getting surgery i could go to town with friends and make an effort to have fun because i was convinced that this was how i was going to be my whole life, and I may aswell get used to it. I am the only person my age that i know who is this overweight ( 105kg, or 230 pounds). Can I just say how much being overweight sucks? it really fucking sucks. Now that i've made the decision to change im just noticing how much it has ripped apart my confidence,self esteem and self image over my teenage years. I am not the person i could have been, i think i had potential but it was hindered by my weight. It has practically been the bane of all my sadness and caused all the selfloathing i have had in the past 8 years. Jesus Christ that is a sad realisation.

You guys are great though, nd I'm very glad you are here to talk to and help me out

Cheers xx

[cwomack 0]

Thank you for your honesty and courage to share the feelings you have been having. I can relate to your feelings, but in addition to what you have said, I have eaten worse in the weeks leading up to surgery. Being an emotional eater, I took out my fears and apprehensions with eating my usual way rather than beginning to eat more logically like all our literature tells us. My surgery date is June 4 and I began the liver shrinking diet today, hoping that a week extra will help a little. Thanks again.

[TatT3d_GirRL 2]

It's amazing how one day I can get on here and I find someone who knows exactly how I feel. I am so ashamed of the way I let myself get that I feel that everyone in the world is looking down on me too! I feel like their looks are just saying "how did she let herself get so fat?" "She would be pretty if only she weren't fat!" It's such a self- esteem destroyer. I am 21 days post op and let me tell you, the confidence you feel when you finally start to lose the weight is amazing. I hope you all feel as great as I do once you have your surgery. It is a SLOW process but so worth it! I have lost 15 pounds since surgery... it is a small triumph but it is enough to keep me motivated. good luck to all of you!

[candy rain 0]

Hiya

Its so bizare reading your post because its exactly where i am right now, i have cut myself off from fam and frenz in the hopes that they will kind of forget about me and i can re emerge in a month or 2 thinner and lookin good, i feel as though everybody is looking at me and talking about me and judging me, its as though i feel that i have admiteed my weight is a problem and people can sense that and see me as a fat person. its strange wen i really think about it but i feel like i just want to vanish until iv had my surgery. I av stopped wearing make up and accessorising because deep down i dont believ im worth the effort in this state but after the surgery its a brand new day and il be pulling out all the stops, i understand why for some its like the first day of the rest of their lives, stay positive n keep your head up because your life is changing for the better and your almost there... im gettin banded 29th of june so simular times let me know how it goes xxx