Disgusted with Myself

[kerri76 0]

I am disgusted with myself! I have surgery on Monday and started my pre-op diet last Monday. It's been a struggle but I made it through Monday and Tuesday fine. Well, yesterday I did fine until I got home. See, home is a trigger for me. There is food there and LOTS of it! I have 2 boys and a husband that like food! All day at work yesterday I kept hinking about fruit Loops. I just couldn't get it out of my head! I got home from work and ATE! I had 2 single serving size chips, 2 bowls of Fruit Loops, a donut and ice cream. After I ate it, I got so depressed and so disgusted with myself! I hate that I think about food all the time. I am a FOOD ADDICT! I have read that other people have cheated on their pre-op diets and some people have posted in response that they shouldn't get the band. I don't want to NOT get banded. I know the band will work for me. When I was pregnant (baby is 4 1/2 months old) I actually lost weight because I couldn't OVEREAT! The baby was far up and squished my stomach so it was painful to overeat. I am assuming that the band will be similar. I also know that there will be foods that I will NOT be able to eat because they could get stuck. I also will be fearful of causing the band to slip. I don't want anyone to think that I am not ready for the band, I think I am...I just fudged up yesterday. I am back on track today and will ONLY eat the designated foods ONLY when I am hungry! I have read that the first few weeks after the surgery are difficult too but knowing that I PHYSICALLY will not be able to eat will help me. I am just having a HUGE mind struggle! One part of my brain wants this so bad but another part just wants to EAT! Please help me! I was so depressed last night and didn't sleep well because of this. :bored:

[LoserHeather37 5]

Kerri, you and I started our pre-op the same day and will have surgery the same day. Read what I'm about to say very carefully...

Do NOT be so hard on yourself!!!!!

If we were able to do this ourselves, then we wouldn't be getting banded. You have only done what I have thought about doing. And although a lot of people may not reply and admit that they did the same thing, I'm sure they're out there.

I have discovered that I am my own worst enemy. I have fooled myself over too many years that my addiction to food was not abnormal and that I was still healthy. I am not, nor have I been healthy!!! My addiction to food sounds just like yours. But, with the HELP of the band, we WILL be able to conquer this demon that we've carried for way too long.

Please forgive yourself and don't look back. Continue to keep your eye on the prize. We have surgery is 3 days and we will be on the road to a happier, healthier lifestyle.

Here's to you!!!!:bored:

I look forward to reading your success stories!!!!

Heather

[Stacey627 0]

Kerri - don't beat yourself up! I started my 2 week liquid diet only - yesterday - so far so good, but let me tell you - I am like a mad women over here in Phila right now........now sure how I will make it through 2 weeks of this - but we can do it - we are not perfect - if we fall off - just hop back on! Good Luck to you and don't give up!!!

[ausamerican33 0]

Kerri - sending you a big hug!! My doc doesn't do pre-op diets for that very reason - they are so, so hard to stick to. I really wouldn't be too hard on yourself. I think the majority of us here, are here b/c we are overeaters, plain and simple. Just making that discovery for myself was enlightening. I just had my band on yesterday - so far, so good. And no hunger! But I had to catch myself from just finishing off my 2 yr olds sandwich - even though, of course, I couldn't have it. Nor was I hungry. It's going to be a mental/emotional battle, that's for sure. But I truly believe that having a physical barrier/reminder will really help me. :thumbup: And you, too!!

[Nean4488 1]

Kerri,

Please keep your head up! Just start over,if you really need to eat try something that is healthy, it shouldnt hurt that much :-/

I dont have much advice to give you, I am not struggling at all on my pre-op diet but I feel like I prepared myself for this from the 3 month diet I needed to go on.

Just remember what you are doing this for!!!!! It will all be worth it. Next time you want to eat like crazy go take a walk, or do something that will keep you busy. You will be fine! Good luck on your surgery!

[ap44 0]

If you can stick with it for 2-3 days, you will wake up the next morning and not feel as hungry...at least that happened to me, and for a lot of others who I've seen post about it. It's like you go through withdrawal and then it gets easier. I swear it won't be as hard as it was the first day for the entire two weeks. Just get back on the wagon and look forward to surgery...it'll be here before you know it.

[mousek 4]

Could you be having some post-partum depression? I went through that many years ago after my daughter was born and I was unsatisfied with my husband's share in the marriage.

[LeighaMason 19]

Kerri,

I do not want to be negative but I don't want you to have unrealistic expectations. My band stops the physical hunger and it takes me an hour to eat a can of tuna BUT I can eat a full bag of chips, a full box of fruit loops, and a gallon of ice cream all at one time with no problem and I am at full restriction. All these things go through the band with no problem, slide right through into my big stomach. The band will not stop you from overeating these foods. (the donut, maybe)

If you are expecting for the band to stop you from eating these foods you will be really disappointed that you went through this for nothing. You need to talk to your Dr., if these are the foods that have made you overweight, there might be a better answer than the band for you.

Good luck.

[kerri76 0]

Could you be having some post-partum depression? I went through that many years ago after my daughter was born and I was unsatisfied with my husband's share in the marriage.

I think I do have some PPD but I am on medicine for it. I am feeling better today just trying to take it one day at a time and be slightly more forgiving of my downfalls. It doesn't help that yesterday the baby was a bit more cranky than usual because she is teething and my husband is RARELY home to help me because he works a lot and also farms. So this time of the year is difficult for me.:thumbup:

[kerri76 0]

Kerri,

I do not want to be negative but I don't want you to have unrealistic expectations. My band stops the physical hunger and it takes me an hour to eat a can of tuna BUT I can eat a full bag of chips, a full box of fruit loops, and a gallon of ice cream all at one time with no problem and I am at full restriction. All these things go through the band with no problem, slide right through into my big stomach. The band will not stop you from overeating these foods. (the donut, maybe)

If you are expecting for the band to stop you from eating these foods you will be really disappointed that you went through this for nothing. You need to talk to your Dr., if these are the foods that have made you overweight, there might be a better answer than the band for you.

Good luck.

I appreciate your comments. I have read that there are people that CANNOT eat those foods and I will be one of them. I will REFUSE to eat those foods out of fear of getting stuck or causing damage to the band. I have already told myself and my family that I will no longer be able to eat bread, Pasta, rice and high calorie soft foods. I will work closely with my dietician to make the best food choices. I WANT this to work. I fell off the wagon yesterday, scraped my knees but dusted myself off and am limping through today. I have to be aware of the food that I put into my mouth. Be conscious of my triggers and find alternative ways to deal with those triggers. I plan on taking a walk tonight which will get me out of the house and away from my triggers! I want this to work. I NEED this to work. I will DIE if I do not lose weight. Plain and simple! :thumbup:

[FINALLY39 0]

Kerri I understand where you are coming from it was hard for me to with the liquid diet and I did slip up and I did eat and I did get on track...But guess what you are human and things will happen. The liquid diet is minor you are going to have some urges after the surgery well after you just have to be focused and have a strong will power....You will be fine

[LeighaMason 19]

These are all great ideas! I am going to offer one more, have a back up plan (this is for after you are back on regular foods), if you have to have something have a greek yogurt and a cheese stick, or cottage cheese with fruit, they may make you go over on your daily calories but they are a lot better than other things you can choose.

[happy2lose 0]

Kerri, For about the first 10 days of any diet you will have sugar withdrawals and crazy cravings. You need to remind yourself of why you chose this procedure and post it on your refrigerator, pantry or anywhere you keep food. I also recommend you post a picture in those places of yourself at your heaviest weight. This will be a reminder of what you don't want to be.

I know not all surgeon's prescribe the same pre-op diet but when I was on mine I was starving and ravenous. I was sure to snack on high Protein foods such as hard boiled egg or yogurt.

The biggest suggestion I have for you is to rid your house of all the temptations. It will not hurt your family to do without until you have your band and enough restriction to be tempted. Do not keep any sweets or starches in the house.

Best of success to you!

~Donna

[Lakewoman 0]

Ok, so you are sooooo close to your surgery. I just started my shakes today (full day). I have a headache, I am so hungry and my body aches as I cannot take my meds as they will interfere with the surgery. My Dietitian said, "just white nuckel it!" She is right. I miss warm comforting foods. I just made some Soup from just cutting up leeks and mushrooms (allowed 2 cups and broth) in a pot with chicken stock, pepper and fresh oregano ... wow ... very satisfying. Although not too filling it seems to do the trick! I also cut up up some cherry tomatoes, with lots of garlic and a tablespoon of Balsamic to marinate as well as sliced cucumbers and marinated them in a solution of Water, vinegar (bit of salt).

When you have that craving for spice or salt or something warm, I think I have it covered.:thumbup:

[MelissaN 0]

*hugs*

My poor band buddy! I don't know how we keep missing each other in real-time chat!!! I wish I could be here for you when you need it!! 'Cause I SO get it!

Anyways, be strong. You can do it-- not much time left before we're banded and have the tools to help us truly succeed!