male only Lost weight, keeping it off, but now what

[pongomp 1]

I know I am probably going to sound like an ungrateful whiner here, but wondering if anyone else is feeling the same....

Had the Realize band put in on 4/8/08. My weight on the day of surgery was 323. Now, 2 years later I am at 205 - 208 (6' 1") depending on the day. I am unbelievably happy with my weight loss and all the benefits of being over 100 less. I'm content with my weight now/clothing size, etc..and really don't feel the need or desire to lose more. I have been pretty stable at this weight for about 8 months.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I have a great life and am so glad my health is soo much better. It's just that it feels like the excitement is gone. I know I should be thankful that I lost the weight and kept if off and have been living a "normal" life as an average sized guy...not fat anymore, not super skinny...just appropriate or proportionate I guess is a better word. I go to the gym and am comfortably fit..meaning that I am not some greek god with abs of steel, but at the same time I am not too flabby. And truthfully, I don't really want to be a muscle-bound guy..just not my style. I am truly content with how I look now.

My problem is that in the beginning it was really exciting to step on the scale each week and see it going down...getting new clothes as my sizes changed, and hearing people say, "wow, you look great". Not to mention looking in the mirror myself and seeing changes.

But all that has tapered off. The scale isn't moving, my clothes fit fine, and there hasn't really been any need for those "wow" comments.

The thing is, part of me misses all the excitement of losing weight consistantly and all the things that went along with that.

I don't know if this is making any sense or is just rambling.

Anyone else know what I am talking about?

[AllegrasGramma 0]

Hi - interesting post. IMO it's because we often define ourselves by losing or gaining weight. Without the attention, negative or positive we have to focus on something else. I don't know what that is, but your post made me think this is something I will likely have to think about/deal with in the coming years. Maybe I can do something now to help that transition. Thanks,

[JayTee562 1]

Pongomp intresting observations.......

We defined ourselves as fat for a longtime then came our WLS jpourney from pre to post surgery then the weight loss after surgery. People have asked me what happens wonce you get to your goal..........and to that I don't have an answer but it's made me think what does happen next.

I guess once we've reached goal and maintained we have to find something else to define ourselves....what I don't know it will be different for each of us....but looking puts us on another journey......good luck to those who've made it in finding your next journey.

[Nevasmon 0]

Great observation Pongomp! You are definitely not alone. However, I don't think that what your feeling is limited to your weight loss.

I think that it's more about goals and direction. I believe that you are a goal oriented person. For so long it has been your goal to lose weight. You have put tremendous amounts of time, money, effort and focus into reaching that goal. Reaching that goal has somewhat consumed your existence.

Now that you've reached that Goal comes the question "Now What?"

I'm just starting my Weight Loss Journey and pray to be where you are one day but yet and still I can totally relate.

I've always wanted to be a lawyer since 6th grade. I did contest in highschool, I went to undergrad, I took prep classes for the LSAT, I took the LSAT, I applied to several law schools, I got accepted to Law School, I attended law school, I got a job with a law firm, I graduated from law school, I passed the bar and now I'm a full fledge lawyer.

I am extremely grateful for the blessing I've received but at the same time I've had a the "now what momement" I think that what we both have to do is set new goals and continue the cycle for the rest of our lives. Goals help you stay focused and reaching them is one of the greatest pleasures we have.

[Jachut 487]

Oh, I can so identify with this!

I think, if I'm completely honest, I make sure I dont see myself how I really am, I'm always that little bit dissatisfied, therefore I can continue trying to lose weight. But I never lose any - why? Because I know that I'm a healthy weight and dont need to lose any so I engage in this pyschological game of pretending I am going to and then not doing it so I can keep having a goal.

Works for me.

I think I'm lucky to have begun a new career this year which takes up a lot of my mental energy and will continue to do so for a few years yet. I hit goal weight a few years ago now, but still had to focus on getting my degree and a job.

[evobuilder 0]

interesting.... I was banded in Oct 08 and I am down to 225. My heaviest I have ever been was 326 and at 39 yrs old, I have not been under 250 since I was 16... so hell yeah, what an accomplishment right? I feel the same way.... I spend most of my time obcessing that I am not at 200 and don't take any effort to take pleasure in being the lightest I have been in 23 years... not to mention having kept it off for well over 18 months.

I am not working out, drinking Water and I am drinking alchohol again.... so I am pretty sure I am kinda sabotaging or at least keeping myself from hitting my goal of 200.

What an interesting thread to find.. other people going through the same thing I am... the funn thing is that I still feel like the fattest guy in the room, even though I am no longer, but after 20+ years of trying not to be noticed or have my weight commented on, I am battling with how to deal with being 100 lbs less than I was.

Thanks for posting this thread.

-eric