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non-supportive family



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I just had my lap band placed on April 13th. I waited almost until the last minute to tell my family, primarily because I knew they wouldn't be supportive. I told my mother and grandparents back in mid-February. I think they understand why I did it, but at the same time they don't understand why I can't do it on my own if it just means changing habits. I waited until two days before surgery to tell my sister (who is also overweight) about what I was doing. She was furious! She claims she was only upet because I waited so long to tell her... I think there is more to it than that though. Part of me thinks there is a little bit of jealousy there because she is unable to have the surgery herself (lack of insurance), but then I can't think that because she told me she considers it "cheating". She hasn't talked to me since. What do you do when you don't have the support of the people that mean the most to you?I mean.. I didn't tell them they had to agree with it, I could use a little support though..

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I haven't told any of my family. I have told my husband's family as they are supportive. My feeling is, if they can't or won't support you, find some friends who will. Also, attend your support group. They will be a big help.

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First, I am very sorry to hear that you do not have the support you need. I was banded on the 15th of April and one of the things I had to do prior to my banding was attend a seminar. That was one of the things that was spoken about was having that support through this process. My father and my in-laws know I have had the surgery. My mother does not know. I believe this is why places like lapbandtalk and lapband support groups exsist so not only people that have the support system, but people that need a support system can have the support they need to make it through this process.

I agree with Rilversea if they won't support you I bet you have people that will. Just trust them to know. I was kind of hush hush about what I was having surgery for and just let people know that I was going to be out for a week. I did finally tell a couple people and I guess the word got out. Come to find out there are people rooting for me here to do well and to get the weight off. I guess what I am trying to say is sometimes your biggest cheerleaders are not the ones you live with and spend time with. I wish you the best of luck.

James from Bremerton WA

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Some of the people close to you may come around with a little time. LBT is a good place to get some support.

I agree with the poster who said attend support group in your area. I found that any group will let you attend. I had my surgery in a different city, but a closer support group lets anyone attend.

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