Need To Vent

[Shari Lou 0]

I went to my fellowship group last night and pulled the pastor's wife off in the corner to ask her if she could gather some of the women around to pray with me about my banding on Thursday.

Why is it that all the overweight women were excited, wanted to know all about it, and wished they could have it too.

All the skinny women told me that I was fine just the way I am and they were concerned about any complications, and that the surgery wasnt needed.

Can someone please explain this phemennon.

Blessings,

[vinesqueen 2]

that is very interesting.

Could be that the fat women understand what you are going through, I mean I think their reaction is as expected.

It may be that the thin women have body issues? I know at least one woman in my dance class feels she has this huge poochy belly. She's a size 12-14 athletic build. She's our our school rugbey team. She showed us her "huge poochy belly" I laughed at her. It was at most a couple of ounces, and because it wasn't flat as can be felt it was huge.

[Guest Stampladi]

I can sympathize with you! Thin people don't understand. They seem to think weight is totally controlled by your "mind". Maybe for them it is, but for us who are heavy, it goes beyond that. Maybe they just think we are weak, or that we can just change our minds to think ourselves thin. I want to lose weight, but can't . Genetics play a part, as does health factors, and an inability to exercise.

My mother, has never had to really battle her weight much, maybe 10-15lbs. has is most she's been "overweight". She went with me to a Lap Band seminar and afterward all she could say is ..."Oh, I don't know...is it really necessary?". She went on to say that she didn't think I had the drive to stick to the eating habits needed for the band, etc. She knows I have tried many diets in the past and knows that I've never been able to lose much weight. So I guess she figures I'll be a failure at it. But she never says "You are fine the way you are.". She is always saying things to remind me of my weight. So with her I seem to be damned if I do and damned if I don't. She doesn't realize that there is no easy fix, or just a new "mind set" that can make me suddenly lose weight.

My husband (who is thin) is supportive of the surgery to a point. He worries about the financial part of it, as it looks like our Insurance BlueCross BlueShield, through Central States will not cover it. I am on Medicare (part A), but doubt they will cover much if any.

I don't want to waste any more of my life as a "morbidly obese" person. I have a 10 year old son to raise, and I want to be able to be more active with him, and not to be an embarrassment to him as he gets older!

I will pray for you for your surgery and recovery! And you can pray for me for a financial windfall or for sympathic insurance coverage! LOL

Prayers and best wishes,

Stacey Fortenberry

213lb., 5"1"tall, (BMI 40) 39 yr.old...wanting to be banded

[MerryHearted 20]

I'm thinking the thinner women just don't understand what it's like to be truly obese. And maybe they thought they were being supportive by telling you you are fine as-is. (we'll love you no matter what your size, sort of thing). Just don't let them tell you it's a moral issue.

Best wishes on your surgery Thursday!

[the best me 6]

I have been peasantly pleased with the responses I have experienced with my church friends. If they have a moral problem with my surgery, they sure don't say so. I was talking with a lady on the phone and told her I was leaving in a few days for surgery...explained it all...and she prayed the nicest prayer with me on the phone! It was beautiful. Somehow in all the pre-surgery flitter, she had all the words for the feelings I had and I was able to give it all to God in that moment. I will never forget that.

Somehow, I have found the opposite happening with me. The overweight folks are curious but it's not for them, I can tell. It's almost a "wait and see how she does" kind of thing with them...they are hopeful for me, maybe a bit envoius, as they see slow results. But the skinnies are very excited for me. It's as if they see the inner me and know how the outer me doesn't match and they are my best cheerleaders. How can they understand better than my obese acquaintances? I dunno.

Anyhow, God bless you as you go forward with your plans. Be sure to post and let us know how it goes!!!

[TrishS 3]

The thin people probably just dont understand.. but being Church friends they should support you anyway. Dont let that get you down. You are doing this for you, to be more healthy.. You will be in my prayers!

[NJChick 3]

Yep, skinnies just don't get it, they never will until they are in our shoes. Don't let it bother you, sounds like you'll have a great support group with the other ladies.