Cheating on Pre-Surgery Diet

[TheresaB75 0]

I started my pre-op diet last friday, it's 2 weeks of 2-3 Protein shakes and a lean Protein meal with green leafy veggies for lunch OR dinner.

It has been difficult, I assure you as I am starting this at almost 400#'s. But this is the beggining of a change. From now on there will be foods that you can't or shouldn't have. I agree the "head" hunger is the worst. But since I know that has been a huge problem for me all along this is helping me say....Am I really hungry? or am I just thinking of food?

The only thing I have done that could be called a "cheat" is 1 or 2 sugar free jello's a day. And I talked with the nutritionist at my doctor's office and her only concern was not to encourage snacking behavior.

I got weighed at my pre-op appt yesterday, 5 days after starting this diet....I lost 14 pounds!!!! Let me assure that was motivation enough to keep me going. I am sure some was Water weight....but any time the number on that scale goes down I am a happy woman.

Remember that we are all here to support one another, I don't think any of these post have been preachy....they are all realistic. And I for one need to make sure I stay realistic and motivated.

[kookaburra 0]

Hi everyone, thanks for all of your posts although to be honest I was shocked that some of you felt you knew me well enough to make some of the assumptions that you did. I was having a rough time with the diet and was really just looking to find that I wasn't the only one who had made these errors and that others have given in too (I'm sick of feeling like a weak person and it's always comforting to know that others understand and have been there too). Saying that you understand and have been in that position too isn't enabling someone, it's empathy.

I've thought this through and decided to postpone my surgery. The fact that I've not been able to stick to my pre-surgery diet tells me that I haven't dealt with whatever things from the past I've been squishing down with food and a lapband isn't going to fix that for me. For years food was the only thing that ever comforted me during long episodes of severe OCD and Depression so I have some very strong associations to break there and I think I need support to do that before I get the band. Take care everyone xoxox

[AnneGG 0]

Kookaburra, thanks for your last post. It makes it clear the power of assumptions, both pro and con. I've found your thread to be thought-provoking and useful, because it deals with core issues and behavior for those of us in a weight struggle.

I'm so sorry if this discussion put you off getting the lap-band! I'm sure none of us meant to be non-supportive; quite the contrary! In dealing with myself, I find a combination of both empathy and tough love to be the most effective, and this thread has exemplified that.

Have you considered going ahead with the lap-band and getting therapeutic and/or coaching support at the same time? I find that getting answers to my "why" questions the least helpful with behavior change; it's the "how" and "when" questions that are the most helpful with my own behavior. Perhaps the combination of all 3 questions is where the power is.

At any rate, I wish you both courage and empathy with your journey!

[kookaburra 0]

Hi Anne, thanks for your post. Absolutely nothing that's been said here has influenced my decision. I take full responsibility for my decision to postpone and it was a carefully thought through one. I really understand what you are saying about behaviour modification and to a certain extent I've found not delving into the why to be helpful but I have a 'nagging' feeling that there is something not right that needs my attention so that I can then release it forever - this strategy has worked for me very well in the past. I understand that Tough Love can be a good thing, I've just never responded well to it because I don't usually reach out at times when I'm tough enough to deal with Tough Love :thumbup: Thanks very much for all of your support. Take care xoxox

[♥Amy♥ 5]

I apologize if my post offended you in any way. That was not my intention. I'm the kind of person where if I don't care I don't bother. I wasn't trying to be "preachy" like TonyBison said and I wasn't trying to pretend like I knew you. Because I was in your shoes I wanted to help and in my opinion, sugar coating stuff like this is no good. When it comes to something as serious as surgery and all that comes along with it you need to hear things straight up.

I'm glad you made the decision to postpone your surgery and work on your issues beforehand. I'm sure a good majority of us have gone through and may still be going through what you are and it's good a thing you're seeking help for that. The band is only effective when used correctly. It took me a couple years to be able to be in the right place to do this otherwise I would have had it done and still failed at it.

OK I'm giong to shut up right now. If any of this came out wrong I apoligize. Please know that it all comes from a good place. :thumbup:

[BetsyB 9]

Kookaburra, I am very sorry. My intention was NOT to make you feel weak and incapable of following through with the preop diet. Quite the contrary, I meant to empower you---to tell you that you CAN do this! ALL of us flounder---but not all of us give up.

It's hard--VERY hard. No one disputes that. Lots of us cheat. But in the end, we all have to muster up every thing we've got to do this right.

I understand, if you're not ready now. No one can decide that but you. If postponement is best for you, Anne's suggestion re: coaching/counseling is a really good one. If you decide to pursue banding again, you'll be facing the same difficult preop diet, and you'll need all the internal resources you can muster.

It's not really a setback that you're holding off---in the long run, it will give you great odds of success.

And THAT is what we all want for you.

[Dblex 0]

Look at it this way. If my wife hadnt been supportive and even willing to do liquids with me, I think I would be dying! The pre-op diet is one of the hardest dicipline things I have ever done in my life. It is so easy to cheat and so easy to give up, but you have to look in the mirror and really make a decision on who you want to be. Think of it as a motivation to challenge yourself and change who you are. Being a man, I think of the struggle I have had with weight loss, and look at the point where I am in my life and decided I dont want to be this heavy guy anymore. I think I am more scared of the life changes than I am the surgery and challenges. I mean I have been heavy since I stopped playing football in college and I think back....when was I most happy? And truely....it was when I was working out, playin ball and living a healthy lifestyle. I unfortunately live in the highest diabetic county in the nation, I see the results everyday, and I just dont want to be that person anymore.

So, this one commitment.......both pre-op and post op are going to change your life forever. I had to challenge myself to finish one thing thru in life....and I know this is it.......

Suggestions are: Get rid of any temptation in your house. I mean everything. If you dont see it, you wont be tempted. I know I know, I have kids too, but the only food in my house now is for them only. Get support. Find someone local who you can call when you want to break down and cheat. Talking about it helps get through those moments. READ, READ, READ, this well help you understand what can happen if you dont change your ways. Think about the long term health affects.

And remember, everyone here is going through this with you. And we understand.

RP

[kookaburra 0]

Thanks guys, I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry that I've been feeling more sensitive than usual and probably took some of this stuff to heart as criticism when it was said in the context of offering support (and I really do and have appreciated the support). I think people on this board are amazing the way that they listen and offer suggestions to each other. I'll still be on here and when I'm back on the surgery list, I'll be coming from a much healthier emotional place so I give myself the best foundation for success. Take care everyone xoxoxox:smile2:

[kookaburra 0]

"I was having a rough time with the diet and was really just looking to find that I wasn't the only one who had made these errors and that others have given in too"

Not that it matters now but I just wanted you to know that I meant given in to their hunger/cravings not given up altogether :thumbup: BetsyB I love the way that you support people on here and Amy thank you for caring enough to say what you think and dblex thankyou for your understanding and support. Take care everyone, I think that you are all a wonderful group of people and very strong and committed; all qualities that I truly admire.

[AnneGG 0]

I think that you are all a wonderful group of people and very strong and committed; all qualities that I truly admire.

Kookaburra, I would lay my life on you having the same qualities.

I guess when we reach out we don't always get what we're looking for, and I'm sorry I didn't understand that better with you.

I think weight issues often involve people who are very sensitive, and that that is a big part of the emotional issues with the weight struggle. I still after much work on them deal with issues of deep pain and betrayal, and eat to comfort myself. For me, a problem piece of losing weight is that it makes me feel like I am making myself vulnerable again to that pain. I need the support, but asking for it makes me risk feeling all rejected and hurt again. The dilemma of weight loss...

At any rate, thank you for your clarifications of where you were coming from. I'm glad you intend to stay involved with this board. For me, it helps me deal with the "now" rather than the "then" with people who are sensitive and empathetic. This thread is a wonderful example of that.

Thank you.

[TheresaB75 0]

I can tell you that I went most of the pre-op process 2 yrs ago, had the cardiac work-up...was ready to go.

Then I doubted my readiness, I listened to those saying surgery is so invasive. I was on a high Protein medically suppervised diet( with diet pills) and they said " see you are doing it,you dont need surgery". I didn't like the pills so I stopped taking them. Then I had some personal stress in my life and fell right off the edge.

So here I am 2 yrs later, gained all the weight back. But I have a new resolve, I KNOW this is the right decision for me. Obviously that just wasn't the right time. Now is my time. I believe you will find your time too. And when that time comes you will know, and it won't be easy but you will be able to do it.

[jre1974 0]

I don't think there are any ways to cheat in a healthy way. I can also say that most of your hunger is probably in your head. The best thing that I have found to do is that I just keep moving...My wife loved it when I was going through my pre-op diet because I was constantly up and cleaning the garage, or organizing the storage closet, or weeding the flower beds....The point is that I kept myself busy and that kept my mind on something other than food. If I was sitting around watching TV, I felt like I needed to have something in my hands to eat. So thank God for DVR...I recorded a bunch of my favorite shows and watched them all after surgery when I was laid up.

I have also done the liquid diets and was very successful in losing the weight...unfortunately I gained it all back after the diet was over. What i found while i was on the diet however, was that if I got hungry I'd simply drink another shake. The Optifast only has what, 180calories? The important thing is to not cheat with regular food. Even if it is something that you THINK is healthy. As I said, there is no such thing as HEALTHY cheating, but if you absolutely feel like you need something or you're going to eat; drink another shake...The point right now is to drop the weight before surgery and to prepare yourself for what's to come.

Good luck

[Dblex 0]

My wife loved it when I was going through my pre-op diet because I was constantly up and cleaning the garage, or organizing the storage closet, or weeding the flower beds....The point is that I kept myself busy and that kept my mind on something other than food.

That is so funny! Mine said the same thing too! At this rate, we should have the best yard in the neighborhood!

[Soon2bContent 1]

I was given only a week & a half to start my pre-op diet. I'm on day 8 yes I have cheated the first 3 days were murder, after that not so much so, it gets easier, but it is very hard my surgery date is 4/29/10. I'm on the Atkins shakes. The only thing was when I cheated I had tummy aches all night unless I ate chicken. So I just stopped cheating!

[muddieguryl 0]

I would call your doc and talk to him, let him know you are having uncontrollable poo! You could be dehydrated or well on your way there.

Take care of yourself!