Help! Having MAJOR second thoughts....

[Tracytma 19]

Hi everyone... I am nearly at the point of getting my surgery date. have jumped through all the hoops.... and NOW... after 6 months of talking, going to meetings.... researching.... I am having major second thoughts about having a silicon band permanently inside me.... forever. And my second fear.... is what if I fail at THIS? I've been reading posts about people having stalled weight loss etc... and I guess I'm just afraid of yet another weight loss failure.

Any one else have these thoughts or feelings???

Hope I'm not putting anyone off with being this honest... don't mean to scare anyone... just need some support.

Thanks

Tracy

[AnneGG 0]

Tracy, I think your fear and second thoughts are very understandable, and I know I share them, having gone through all the hoops like you, and now waiting for a date. I guess what is important is our third thoughts, of- okay, now what do I do? It's OK to back out, it can be reversed down the road, can I do the weight loss on my own, what if I fail, etc., etc. What do I do?

I know for me it's full steam ahead; I'm tired of struggling without the support the lap-band® will give me. I'm tired of fighting hunger.

But that's my answer for me. Only you can decide what's right for you, whether it's worth the risk or not.

[jaymie 0]

I agree with Anne. Second thoughts are going to sneak in, and I think we just need to acknowledge them and then let them go. This is a major decision and the first time for many of us that we are doing something loving for ourselves. I am getting banded on April 22, and I have had the same feelings of wanting to turn back... but I know I'm going to do it!!!!!

[bandstarr430 0]

Im soo glad you posted this. I was having the same feeling once I set my surgery date for June 1st. And I went through the SAME hoops you did. The 6 month diet, sleep study, dietitian, shrink and all!!! But I really had to think about what would happen IF I DIDN'T do this. I keep thinking about my health deteriorating for the rest of my life. My life needs to change...I need to get healthy. And if you did all this work...so do you! WE CAN DO THIS....WE HAVE TO! FOR OURSELVES AND OUR FAMILIES!

[Nean4488 1]

I am feeling the same way! I set my date for May 17th.. I could have had it May 10th, but I kind of chickened out a bit..

But for me its not really so much that I don't want to stop eating all the foods I eat now, or anything like that, its because i am afraid of the pain. I am such a baby when it comes to pain, i got my wisdom teeth out and I thought I was going to die!

The way I am starting to look at it, is that the pain is going to be worth every bit of it!! But i still will be freaking out until they put me under!!!

[tazzyinheels 0]

I just wanted to agree with everyone else.

I also wanted to say that pain is different for each person but this wasn't bad at all except the gas pains. I only took pain meds x 1 after getting home. Lots of Walking and spandex did more for me to push the gas out.

They gave me a long local anesthetic at the surgery site so it never really hurt. I only took the one dose at bedtime so I would hopefully sleep well which I did.

Looking at the site you can see that gas pains in the shoulders for a few days impact many people, that really was the worst of it.

[montynic 1]

I truly believe all the doubts, fears, thoughts, etc are perfectly normal... I had them before surgery, as did everyone else I have talked to. I was banded 4/1. The closer the date came, the more doubts I had! One of my biggest ones was that I am only 25 yrs old and am voluntarily implanting a foreign device into my body that will be there the rest of my life, as in, the next 60+ years... then I realized that I will get more enjoyment out of those years if I am thinner and healthier! I was also afraid that it might not work, but I figured that I have tried everything else at this point, so this surgery was my only option left. Granted, some people are more successful than others, and everyone loses weight at different rates... I just keep telling myself that the lapband is not a cure, it is a tool for me to utilize, and I will only be successful if I use the tool properly and follow the rules. I have had several surgeries and this one was definitely the slowest and most painful recovery, BUT I had a massive hernia repaired (one of the largest the doctor had ever repaired) which was the main source of my pain and delayed recovery.

Good luck to all of you who have not been banded yet. All the second-guesses, fears, doubts, etc do eventually subside!

[Tracytma 19]

Thank you to each of you that replied. I'm hearing that everyone has second thoughts.. I've had a sleepless night weighting the pros and cons... there are MANY more pros, which is good. It always comes back to wanting to be thin and healthy... and I realize I can't do it on my own. I need this tool. I guess I feel like I let myself down because I just can't do it on my own.

Someone asked me yesterday (prompting all this doubt) "what is it in my life, that would make me get up from the table..." (or not have that snack etc)... In other words... what is my motivation in life? He was trying to get me to look at "why" I eat the way I do..or why have I developed the habits I have.... and what will change just because I have the band? What's going to motivate me to change? It was an awesome question (one that kept me up all night!! LOL).

Then I realized this was a question that was put to us at our lifestyle class... but it just didn't sink in until I heard it again yesterday? So... what makes YOU all get up from the table?

I'm realizing that this Band is just as much psychological as it is physical.

sorry this got a bit "heavy!" :ohmy:

[LeighaMason 19]

Maybe I am just fooling myself but I think my problem with eating was physical. When I first went to see the Dr. he did a barium swallow and said "WOW! You have a really big stomach! I am surprised you don't weigh more than you do." Then I got the band and I am comfortable eating a small amount of food, in the past I could diet but I was in physical pain from hunger. That is why I think the band works for me, I now have a small stomach that gets full on a small amount of food. I get up from the table because I am no longer hungry.

[Ilovebeagles 0]

I was really nervous before surgery too. When the surgeon's office called me to sheduled the date that really solidified in my mind, "Yes I will be having someone put something into my body and cinch it up around my stomach.... eeeeeeeekkk!!!" I wanted to run for the hills!

I put the lady off and said I would have to call her back in a day or two (once I could calm down and think rationally and weigh the pros and cons of surgery and remind myself WHY I wanted to do this). Part of me was really afraid of the surgery it's self and the fact that having it, forced me to admit I needed help to lose the weight and just could not do it on my own, no matter how much I wanted to be able to do that. Plus I was afraid that even though the surgery works for thousands, I would be the oddball and have it not work for me and then I would waste all that money and be embarrassed.

Oh, that was such a trying time! Surgery is such a big step! After I calmed down, I called and scheduled the surgery and have never looked back! Now my only wish is that I had done it sooner.

Best of luck to you,

Trixie

[YoungBlackAndBanded 0]

Girlie!!! I am sooooo there with you!! I have been going back and forth for about 4 months now. Just today I got the call that my insurance was approved, and have my surgery date scheduled for May 14th!!!

The whole think kindda feels like when you're flirting with a guy to see if their interested, but then when he is, you're kindda like OH SH!T....what now?! lol

I have the same fear of what if i'm not successful at this? It's a huge deal, and if I do this, and even the lap band can't help me drop the pounds...then what?

I know the band is as much psychological as it is physical, and I guess my advice to you (and me) is to make sure your miind's right!!

[Cingulus 0]

I don't know anyone who does not have doubts. In the end for me, the part the put me over the edge was if I don't change what I am doing to lose weight I can't expect different results. This program takes conviction and you need to be motivated to follow the guidelines, do the exercise and keep focused during the Bandster Hell phase before you hit restriction. In the end it was not easy, but it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

[ap44 0]

I'm getting banded tomorrow, and I think it's normal to have second thoughts and to be nervous...it is surgery, after all. I think we would be crazy if we weren't somewhat nervous. For me, though, the excitement for what life has in store AFTER surgery is what we should all focus on. We have years of better health, having and playing with children, wearing amazing designer jeans (forgive me, I can't wait for that), improved confidence, and so much more. Technology has given us a tool to help us get to where we want to be, and we are blessed to have this opportunity. The decision to do it is different for everyone, but I am ready to go in there tomorrow and start the rest of my life.

If you are having second thoughts or are nervous, I would recommend picking some blogs written by bandsters and reading them from the beginning. There are some good ones at Blogger. To see others' successes and failures is good and reassuring, and has made my two weeks of liquids go by much easier...as has the weight loss from it! Good luck to you all!

[CavyGuy 0]

For me, a lot of it has to do with having confidence in my surgeon and the aftercare offered by his/her group. I'll be banded around 6.1.10 and I'm ready. There is a danger to air travel but I still travel by air. Why? It's the destination, for me, that really counts. Plus, each time I do something I'm scared of I become less scared of other things around me. I'm not saying reckless, I'm saying less scared, as having more and more confidence in my ability to make good judgments and take care of myself. That's one reason I keep coming back here and reading all these posts. So much gets said and so much goes unsaid that this place is a treasure. Thanks for putting up with my pre-banding gas.:ohmy:

[Me3 0]

I felt the same way at points along the way... even bawling when I went into the OR... but on 4/8/10 I did it..

I try to remember it this way... NOTHING really is FOREVER... it's better for me to look at it this way... im 33 so... im looking at the max 50-60 years w/it... and who knows, maybe down the road it will have to be removed. It is a possibility, but now having done the surgery, if it were to have to be undone, I know how it will feel, and it wasn't so bad!

As far as fear of failure and seeing other posters weight stalls... those aren't failures, they are hiccups, and like the hairs on our head we are all different and so we all have our unique experiences w/the band.

Hugs,

Heather