Sabatogers / My Boss

[mrslamica 3]

Is your boss thin? If she is then don't sweat it bc she will never understand or "get" why that bothers you...just look at it like this, in a year you will be so far beyond the whole "FOOD" hang-up and much more able to cope with those type of comments. If she is big, then you need to explain to her that you have made a LIFE CHANGE and you have done it for YOU. And if she were smart SHE would make a life change of her own. If she is really your friend, she will respect that.

I can see where it would be seen as "cruelty" to talk about all of types of food (especially your favorite) right after your surgery, but the fact of the matter is that people who haven't researched LapBand or don't know much about it tend to under-appreciate the whole process that we are going through. And as a result they do not support you properly...or even worse try to stop you from succeeding because it's a common known fact that MISERY LOVES COMPANY. If you guys bonded over food- she is simply continuing the same routine you two had before your surgery and since she has experienced no change in life, she doesn't realize this might be hurtful.

I was banded March 12th, and as of yet, I haven't had any of my family or friends (the few that know) say anything negative about it. I have, however, had a change in relationship with a few of my friends...kindof a disconnect...because we had bonded over food- and I didn't realize that was the majority of what we did, talked about and focused on. As a result of MY life change, they began feeling uncomfortable around me and I just had to adjust their placement in my life and although it hurt, I don't need those people that only want to hang out with me because I'm fat...or because I always want to go out and eat...lol!!!

I would definately sit down and be honest about how you feel. I don't think she is intentionally trying to wear you down mentally...but she needs to know that this is happening and more than hearing about food from her- you need to hear support and motivation from her.

If she cannot provide those things for you and its what YOU NEED, you may have to re-evaluate your friendship, because the toxicity that she will bring into your life will ultimately delay your progress and might hender your ability to reach your ultimate goal...

weightloss!!!

[Marine mom 3]

I'd say lecturing anyone else about their weight is not a smart idea, let alone your boss!!

[mrslamica 3]

I didn't say anything about lecturing ANYONE...I don't pretend to have all my stuff togeter. BUT if this woman is saying those type things and she's just now out of surgery one of two things is happening...

1)She's oblivious

2)She's intentionally being RUDE

Either way, sometimes the best way to nip things in the bud is to be HONEST...and sometimes BRUTELY HONEST.

No lecture required.

[adagray 1]

After reading all these replies, it reminds me of some funny conversations I had w/friends just prior to my surgery. I am part of a big mom's group and we typically organize meal delivery for each of the mom's when they have a new baby or go through any sort of surgery or physical problem.

I've been a big part of the group so when it came time for my surgery, of course I had several friends from the group ask what they could do to help me after surgery. I just laughed and said 'Whatever you do, don't bring me food!'. Not that they would have been that dense (I think), but it just reminds me that sometimes a little humor goes a long way.

Everyone who I said that to laughed and it opened up discussion about how I would not be able to eat for awhile after surgery. Now all my friends are pretty well educated on how the band works and they don't bat an eyelash over the fact that on any given outing I may not be eating (if it is right after a fill) or eating very little.

[deb_ladyrose 0]

Timbergurl thanks for your response. It got me thinking. She IS heavy as well ( however NOT as big as I am ) To be honest we have only gone out together to lunch 2x BUT now that I think about the "big picture " she is always talking about food and is always saying she is hungry. I guess I should of thought of that before but the first thing i thought of was the fact that she didn't want me to have the surgery. I also know that I will come across sabatogers and food pushers and was just asking some "experienced" banders their advice or how they handled the situation.

thanks

[LiveLoveLaugh 0]

Deb LadyRose - Your going in the right direction - Love your attitude and reaching out for help is the best thing you can do. Rock on gurl.... It takes time, willpower and oh a whole lot of advice to get into the right mind set and break some bad habits both from you and your family and friends...

It's funny cuz I'm a bit over two years out and after my last fill Feb. 23rd I've finally hit my best sweet spot EVER and my mother who has supported me from day one. Kept telling me you need to eat more, is that all your eating, your gong to get sick if you don't eat more than that on and on.... Finally I looked at her and said "mom I know what I'm doing is correct, I'm finally following the doctor's menu and portions to a Tee I see him every 6-7 weeks now and if he feels I'm not doing good I'll change what I'm doing" She smiled and said " Ok sorry I seemed to gear you off your plan, I'm just not used to you eating so little, kinda like a skinny girl" we both busted out laughing and that broke the ice with out me hurting her or having her mad at me. I knew she had my best interest at heart but it just didn't come out as well as she thought it was...... Gotta love the family..

Hmm, me eating like a skinny girl..... Holly Cow!! LOL

Leaving food on my plate, taking small/tiny portions, taking all healthy items.....

[deb_ladyrose 0]

Keep on eatin' like that "skinny girl " LiveLoveLaugh and you will BE one before you know it and not just eating like one :thumbup:

Thanks so much for your post!

[LiveLoveLaugh 0]

Thanks.... It's funny to hear that.. since I really must have been eating like a really fat girl.

I have to say it does gross me out to watch some other people eat now. Huge bites, super fast and the huge amounts all day long. I'm even grossd out to watch my family and I have to stop myself from saying to much to them because they get a bit offensive. Yikes.... I don't want to become their food POLICE!! LOL