Parents...

[kagead 0]

I'm so glad you told them!!!

Sorry to bring a morbid tone into the conversation, but there are other considerations to telling or not telling parents about surgery in this particular case.

The OP is young and engaged, not married. If G-d forbid a million times something horrible happened, who would have a say about her treatment or care if she could not? Her parents or her fiancee? In many states her fiancee would have no rights at all. Also, how would her fiancee deal with telling her parents she went for surgery without telling them?

Like I said, I know this is morbid but my family has a long history of health issues and hospitalizations. After learning a very hard lesson, we all have living wills and powers of attorney so our wishes are clear in case of an emergency. Most young people do NOT have these provisions and they should be taken into account.

FWIW, I am single with no children. My mom will make any decisions for me should it come to that. The hospital already has copies of those documents on file for me in anticipation of my surgery.

Again, I sincerely apologize for bringing things "down", but this is something I feel strongly about.

kagead

[khath0620 20]

I have told only the people I trust which includes certain friends and family. I haven't told my brother, though. He is extremely judgmental and critical. I can already imagine the conversation (or rather the lecture) that he would have with me. I feel that I owe this journey to myself and don't have to justify it to anyone else. I don't need his approval or disapproval. I may tell him or I may not. I haven't decided. All I know is that the closest people to me in my life love me and support me unconditionally. This process is hard enough without feeling that!

[nkitajolie 0]

I told my parents a couple weeks ago, after I'd made my decision; mostly because that's how I've done things all my life (I'd rather apologize later than ask now philosophy). I just kind of announced it at dinner at Cracker Barrel, and we all (brother and sister included) discussed it. I left the conversation feeling like they weren't really too keen on the idea, though.

Then for the next couple weeks after that I told them about upcoming appointments, etc. as if they'd always approved of the idea lol. Eventually they started asking questions and one day my dad just said to me out of the blue, "we want you to know we'll be with you every step of the way.":thumbup:

It took a few days, but they definitely came around, and are even talking about going to my first appointment with the surgeon w/ me. (we'll see) I'm glad I told them, though. It felt good to be able to tell the psychotherapist (who i met with today) that they would be part of my support system post-op. :thumbup: