Need Advice Re: Co-workers

[DebraC10 0]

Hi. Don't have a date yet, should be soon. But I'm stressing out about what to tell co-workers. I'm not so concerned about the weight loss or the eating in front of them as they've seen me try liquid diets, etc. for months at a time. At one point I was on a shake diet and dropped 70 lbs in 4 months. I will probably say I'm doing that again.

What I am worried about is what to tell them I'm having surgery for. Yes, there are laws but that's just not the way it works in reality. They will be all up in my business for sure. I will be taking a short disability leave for surgery so they will know that I'm having surgery. I just can't deal with telling them it's weight loss surgery and the drama that will undoubtedly follow...you have NO idea. Any suggestions?

[Laura1999 0]

I told some of my close friends at work and they have been very supportive. Walking with me on lunch and making me things that I could eat during my pre op diet. My office is small and we are a pretty close group so I think they all know I am dieting but not that I had surgery. No one has made any comments about what I've been eating. You don't have to tell you coworkers that you are having weight loss surgery but it may be helpful to tell one or two close trusted friends for their support

[kimaly 57]

I really don't think you have to tell them anything if you don't want too. But I also think they will figure it out sooner or later. Putting 2 & 2 togather, Think about it: They know you were out for surgery when you got back your eating habits changed and you started losing weight. They will most likely just guess and talk about it behind your back. I just don't care what people think about my surgery because it was for me and not them. I was honest with our employee's but that's just me. You could always use the old fall back and tell them it's female problems. Good luck in whatever you decide. And Congrats on joining us in the band world!

[Ali2010 1]

saying the surgery is for female problems is a good idea, there usually aren't a bunch of follow up questions to that one. I was going to say I am having galbladder surgery but don't feel comfortable in making up symptons or rolling with any follow up questions.

It's hard, I am not sharing my journey either!

[BetsyB 9]

They've seen you lose and regain in the past. I think they're probably apt to just assume you're doing the same thing.

Can you just take a "vacation?" The recovery from banding is very short, and unless your job is very physical and requires light duty, there's really no need to discuss it with anyone other than HR (if you need to take medical leave rather than vacation days).

I've found it to be easier to just tell people--and have experienced no fallout from it. But I can understand your stance. I just think you're worrying about something that is very likely to be a complete non-issue.

[gingerjane 5]

Family was WAY more judgmental thank work. (Minus 1 coworker but she's a judy judger anyway) I have to say, my office has been SUPER supportive of my surgery and they are always asking me questions about how I'm doing (not food wise but just feeling, etc) and one girl goes walking with me a lot. I think if you have a few people that you are comfortable with, I would just go on ahead and tell them. That way, they're not guessing and it gives you a chance to explain WHY you want to have this done. I found that my co-workers were very supportive - even my boss.

Of course, it is also NONE of their business. So, that is also something else to take into account if you don't want them to know. But, I do agree with some of the above posts - they're going to talk about it regardless.

I have to go out of town next week and I'm meeting up with some colleagues from one of our satellite offices and the one is driving and she even offered to pick up Protein shakes to bring me for the trade show. To me, that meant a lot because she knew about the surgery (her sister had it) and she was being supportive. You never know- you might find a supportive person when you least expect it.

Good luck and you'll do great! :smile2:

[LapBandBobbi 8]

I was open with my co-workers. Most of them have been very supportative and a few just curious and asked a lot of questions.

I do find they ask me how much I've lost "alot". So, now I just respond with it's a slow process and I've decided to put my scales away, so I just don't know anymore.

Good luck! Embrace your decision and don't let anyone else ruin it for you!

[Catherine55 43]

I didn't tell anyone at work. As for the surgery, you can say you are having a hiatal hernia repaired. The scars from that surgery are the same as for band surgery.

If you do decide to tell your coworkers, you should let them know that the first month or so after surgery is a "healing" phase, not a weight loss phase, or they may bug you (or gossip) about why you aren't losing a lot of weight right away.

Personally, I think people at work are too much at risk to become "Food-Police-y" and either comment on or gossip about what you are eating, how you are losing, etc. I just did not want to deal with that at all, so I avoided it by not even telling a single person.

I hope that helps!

Good luck!

Catherine

[123me 0]

I have surgery Monday (4/12/10) and have told everyone I'm having a hiatel hernia repaired.

My office is too gossipy and filled with busybodies.

[Woodstock girl 0]

My husband and one friend are the only ones that know. So many people who don't have this problem can be judgmental. I've heard people say that weight loss surgery is taking the easy way out. There's nothing easy about it! We all have our reasons for doing this - most of us have tried everything else without success. To me its a very personal thing that I don't care to share with acquaintances.

[Humming Bird 275]

Only you know your co-workers.

As for me, I am an open book. I find that lies catch up with you and then you have to exlain why you lied. I told everyone and they are all very supportive. A couple gals I work with are even checking in to getting banded now.

[ginger61 0]

My surgery is going to be on 4/22/10 - I told everyone at work including my boss that I am getting my Hernia repaired. As I know it will be, so technically I am not lieing. Don't want anyone judging me, nor the endless questions. As some people are just too noisy!

Good luck on whatever you decide to tell them!

[Kelly22 1]

saying the surgery is for female problems is a good idea, there usually aren't a bunch of follow up questions to that one. I was going to say I am having galbladder surgery but don't feel comfortable in making up symptons or rolling with any follow up questions.

It's hard, I am not sharing my journey either!

Actually, gallbladder is a good! I was always in the bathroom all the time and couldn't eat certain foods after that surgery.

[adagray 1]

If anyone asks, you should tell them that you're having vaginal rejuvenation surgery. That should teach them not to ask personal questions anymore. Ha!

[Woodstock girl 0]

I wouldn't lie to anyone. I just wouldn't disclose my personal medical conditions to anyone. If they ask, tell them you are on a diet - that's the truth! If anyone asks directly if you had weight loss surgery, and you are uncomfortable talking about it, I would just say, "My, aren't you the nosy one!" or "Why do you want to know?" It really is nobody's business if you don't want to talk about your weight loss and I see nothing wrong with telling someone it's a sore spot and you would rather not talk about it.