male only Are heavy people looked at differently

[bigtom1948 8]

I definately know that heavy people are looked at differently. I applied for a job several years ago and managed to jump through all the hoops in the hiring process getting to the last step with this particular organization, when I learned how rude some people really are. The hiring manager spoke with me for about 1 hour and told me that he like everything about me except my size. He told me that on paper that I was the ideal person for the job and if he had never actually met me then he would have probably hired me. He went on to explain that when he has worked with "fat people" (his words), they tend to be less productive than others and out sick more than other employees and he did not want to have to deal with that. I have always felt that I had to work harder and be more productive than others that I work with because of the stigma related to being big, I also never call in sick. I have been sent home a few times because my boss felt that I was too sick to be at work. It took every ounce of self control that I had in my body not to pull that hiring manager across the desk and beat the hell out of him, plus I did not feel like going to jail for assualt and battery. I figured that would hurt any future employment opportunities. I have always been very big, but very strong. I can still bench press over 200 lbs without much problem. I did talk to a layer friend of mine about the situation because I felt that I had been discriminated against. He agreed with me, but told me that most likely the courts would not. He said that it is alot easier to prove age or sexual discrimination than to prove that you have been discriminated against for being overweight. It amazes me how cold and rude some people can be because you do not look the same or fit what they preceive as the norm.

Your story, unfortunately, is all too common. I felt just as ticked off at that guy in reading your story as if I had experienced it personally. One can only hope that he gets treated the same way he treated you in the future. The only worse situation is Old & Fat (my recent experience) wherein after 200 applications I got 1 interview from a pitite young lady whose face telegraphed disgust the minute I entered her office she tried to recover but failed. I look at myself in the mirror every day and even though I am heavy I am not a blob I work out just like you do and the only machine I use less than 150 pounds is the vertical press so my body habitus is firm I am well groomed and I dress well. 390 pounds stacked on a muscular 6'5" frame is a tad different than someone with the same weight 8-10" shorter with poor muscle tone. Even so, it hurt and I was angry. I was already in the lapband program so the event didn't cause me to seek help. But this mid 20's girl was out of her depth as a hiring manager she needed to act accepting of all types of people even if she loothes fat folks.

[Mason's Daddy 0]

I know there is a difference I a nurse and have been 200lbs and now 365 people just don't treat me the same and patients are rude for the sake of being rude .I am being banded in the morning and I can't wait for people to stop calling me "big guy" they may not mean anything but the connotation sucks!

[mandyMO 67]

I know there is a difference I a nurse and have been 200lbs and now 365 people just don't treat me the same and patients are rude for the sake of being rude .I am being banded in the morning and I can't wait for people to stop calling me "big guy" they may not mean anything but the connotation sucks!

I totally agree ! We are looked at like were some alien from outer space! I'm a hairdresser and a young kid and his girlfriend come to get his haircut one time and when they were told I was going to cut his hair the discuss on her face cause I was cutting his hair and when I got down she was so rude to me and his haircut looked really nice but she wanted the skinny girl that just got out of school that couldn't even cut herself out of a paper bag but ! But ya I don't get the looks that I use to and it hurts that people have to be that way since there all so perfect ! They probably don't have any problems ! I know I'm really harsh on this subject because people have looked at me in dicuss and talked about me !

[jfc193 718]

Along with the thought That fat people are lazy its is amazing how smart I am getting the more weight that I lose.

For me this journey has help me to become more confident and not worry how someone looks at me because I am very comfortable in who I am and what I can do.

[m1aman 944]

Oddly, I have noticed a different kind of reaction from people. I am a big guy anyway, tall, broad shouldered, big boned. Because I carry my fat a little differently from some obese people I am perceived as some sort of tough guy sometimes. I have been told I "intimidate people" and that "you are a big man, I wouldn't want to mess with you." What is funny is that I get tired so easily when I do physical labor. If someone did "mess" with me they would probably be very successful.

I am also a very sloppy dresser so I do, with that and my size, get the "he must be a lazy dumb ass" treatment from people sometimes.

[GreggCas 16]

Oddly, I have noticed a different kind of reaction from people. I am a big guy anyway, tall, broad shouldered, big boned. Because I carry my fat a little differently from some obese people I am perceived as some sort of tough guy sometimes. I have been told I "intimidate people" and that "you are a big man, I wouldn't want to mess with you." What is funny is that I get tired so easily when I do physical labor. If someone did "mess" with me they would probably be very successful.

I am also a very sloppy dresser so I do, with that and my size, get the "he must be a lazy dumb ass" treatment from people sometimes.

It isn't just obese people that get different looks. Anything that isn't a comoon form of normal society appearance will be percieved differently. I pretty much have had a similar attitude from being heay to being skinny (lost 230 pounds down to 200 as a guy)...but it is taken differntly now. I tend to make a lot of sexual inneundo jokes and compliments as a way to lighten the mood. When i was big people would laugh and go "oh Gregg...you're so silly" and laugh it off. Now they kinda look at me like...are you serious?...weight does make people percieve others differently but so does other factors.

There is a reason people think overweight people are lazy or not as motivated or just like to eat....You had to get to that weight somehow...and i can bet over 90 percent of the people that are overweight aren't overweight just from "gland problems".

When i was fat...i ate more than i worked off. I was a wrestler and did judo for 15 years along with other sports and was constantly working out. When i stopped...bam i gained all the weight since i wasn't burning it off. I became lazier...i did eat a ton....It IS a stereotype but that stereotype is more common than other stereo types.

I wrote down what i ate for 4 years and how much i worked out each day for 4 years. When i looked at my "Dieting" back then to my normal eating now...Yea...I wasn't dieting. You might THINK you are dieting but when you honestly write down and look at what you eat...you will be surprised at what you are really doing.

as far as the lazy dressing...if you know it...dont' be surprised by it. People will look at you and judge by the way you dress. If you look like a slob...people gonna assume you are. People think of people from what they see and everyone does that...even obese people

[Jack 855]

I had my first "you're invisible" moment in years the other day. Standing of all places in a restaurant a tiny wisp of a young waitress just ignored me standing there.....obviously NEXT in line....to ask the couple behind where they wanted to seat....in a nearly empty restaurant. The couple was surprised and made their own point by telling her they were AFTER the 'next' guy....me..... She suddenly had that -caught-in-the-headlights-look.... and took me to a table with some embarrassment and apology on her part. I didn't know what to make of it. I am decidedly NOT 'trim' but certainly no longer 'morbidly obese' and fit XL t-shirts, 44 pants. I was old enough to be her grandfather. Don't know what the dynamics of that one was, but in my MO days I was pretty much invisible to nearly every sales person/waitress/etc most of the time.