Do you ever feel normal?

[Bob Barnett 34]

I am going through the beginning stages of the pre cert for my insurance. I am looking at 3 months before I am banded. One of my concerns is that it seems everyones life revolves around the band. I know it will be like that for awhile during the beginning stages but does it start to feel normal after some time. I am a workoholic and actually live a very on the go lifestyle. I want there to be a sense of normalcy.

Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. This is a great forum!

[sandiegokate 0]

I remember feeling the same way as you, thinking that I will be restricted from ever really eating again after surgery, not being able to eat at dinners (I have a lot of work related eating events in my world), getting sick, etc. I have had to throw up, that is for sure but it is always due to "user error". It rarely ever happens now, as I have learned what the cause is/was.

I am now 8 months out from surgery and I can say that I probably feel more normal now than I did prior to the surgery. I am not obsessing over food, feeling like I want more all the time - that was not normal. I now act like "the skinny girls" (although I am still far from that) who leaves half their food on their plate, just has a taste of dessert, and feels satisfied. I split lunches with friends now instead of thinking "oh no, I am hungry and want the whole thing". I can eat just about anything in small quantities as long as I chew. I only wish this option was available for me 10+ years ago, and I wish that I had made the decision a few years ago when I first learned about it. The weight is not dropping off me really quickly, but it is dropping and I have so much more energy.

Best of luck to you!!

[cwm812 11]

I'd predict that within 6 months, you will be amazed at how normal you feel. When you read this forum, you find alot of people who are just getting used to their bands. They spend all their time exercising and counting calories and Protein. After you've been banded awhile, it all becomes routine. I've been banded for nearly 2 years and I love my band because it makes me feel normal. I don't count anything and I exercise 3 times a week. It's exactly what all those "fit" people do. They don't log every morsel that goes into their mouths or agonize over a chocolate chip cookie. I realize that some people need to do all that stuff to be successful, but I just wanted to be normal and I am. It is truly miraculous for me. I've spent a lifetime dieting and this is the first time that I feel like a normal person.

Cindy

[BetsyB 9]

It does seem as though life revolves around the band---but it really doesn't. Early on, it occupies a good deal of thought, but even right out of the starting gate, all of the same "normal" things are required of us on a day-to-day basis. We have to get up in the morning, empty the dishwasher, feed the dog, go to work, etc., etc., etc.

It does take time to get to know your band. But it doesn't come close to approaching all-encompassing. It's a small part of life.

It's just magnified here, where almost all discussion is on the one topic.

ETA: I'm just 2 months out. I feel normal. Not like I did before (really, I spend far less time focused on food), but normal in a luckier, healthier way.

Edited March 28, 2010 by BetsyB

[Bob Barnett 34]

That's what I was hoping to hear. I am getting banded bc I am absolutely exhausted with diets. I know EVERYTHING about nutrition and how certain foods are digested and used in the body etc...I have been on diets for 14 years and have never been able to keep the weight off. The band feels like my last hope. Even if it dominates all aspects of my life, I have to do it. But it's great to hear that things feel normal after awhile. Thanks so much

[sandiegokate 0]

I know exactly what you mean about knowing all about nutrition, how the body works, tried every diet in the world. I think most of us here have all gone through the same thing over many years. We all know so much more about diets and nutrition than the general population, in my opinion!

I don't obsess over diets anymore. I just think rationally about what I've had in the day to make sure I've eaten what I should be eating, if I have a dessert here and there I don't worry about it because I know I won't be able to overeat, it isn't an option. I know there are people who bypass the band, and it can be done, but I have always been a healthy eater, just ate too much! The band, therefore, is good for me. Because I am not always that hungry I don't have the cravings for things I used to. Hard to explain, but overall it just makes me more in control. It takes me a long time to eat something too, so the enjoyment lasts longer, whatever it is I am eating.

Best of luck to you... you will do great!!!

[Jachut 487]

Yes! You can feel "normal" again.

Early on, its very consuming, mentally, physically and emotionally. Many people I think arent ready for that, no matter how they've prepared, when you think about it, there's not very many ways in which we can change ourselves as fundamentally as completely renovating our health and appearance.

My primary goal out of this was that I was fed up to the back teeth of being a fat person. I hated the way it consumed my thoughts, I hated the way I had to "resist" food, I couldnt help being always ready to eat and always consciously avoiding eating bad foods. I hated the routine of the Monday morning diet, I hated the abortive attempts at exercise programs, I hated all of it.

I vowed once I was banded I was never ever ever going to "diet" again. I dont think that personally I would have coped well had I not had it done here in Australia where that approach is supported, I'm not saying a more structured routine is wrong, but I think i would have come to blows with almost every US doctor out there, with their nutritional views, rules and targets for daily eating. I will not do that ever again. I eat what I want when I want.

So, maybe I had slower weight loss than others - it took me 2 years to lose 100lb and actually, I'm still losing at the rate of about 3lb per year, lol. That was a worthwhile trade off for me.

I chose the exercise that appealed to me, not the latest craze I read on the net. I knew what bad things they say about long, slow cardio but I knew I liked running so that's what I did. That way, I actually DID it. I knew that yet another gym membership was going to have the same result - early enthusiasm, followed by life getting in the way and the rest is history.

I like healthy foods. I have to force some healthy foods in (it really is a challenge to get enough fruit and veg when you're banded), but that's my version of swallowing Vitamin pills (which I dont take). I dont like Protein shakes, and I dont believe I need mega Protein, so I ignore that particular avenue. Today, its the first day of school holidays, I've had a hard term as a graduate teacher, I fancy a bit of window shopping and a cappucino and vanilla slice (a gorgeous concoction of choux pastry and custard) and I'm damn well gonna have it. Why not? Its a once in a blue moon thing and I for one dont think that the occasional treat with food is dysfunctional or indicative of an eating disorder. Once I allowed myself that, I broke the "well, I ate a vanilla slice, so I may as well drink this milkshake, eat this ice cream, pig out on this chocolate" cycle.

I eat more when good food is put in front of me, I sometimes dont eat when I'm busy, I have periods where I eat too much sugar and others when I eat really realy well. I dont really think about it or beat myself up over it. Hey? Guess what? I'm NORMAL.

I never viewed normal as some sort of perfect eating, perfect exercising robotic life where you got x grams of protein, 100% RDI of every Vitamin every day, etc etc. That's setting yourself up for failure. I saw normal as eat what you like, mostly healthy and dont obsess over it. To me, the band is a great tool for achieving that becuase it takes inappropriate hunger out of the question.

I hate to say it, but I think many people who defend their more rigid regimes are really still clinging to the hope that if they do everythign right they will be rewarded. I think it takes a lot of courage to let yourself go and abandon that adherance to imposed rules and really listen to your body. It is a really really hard thing to do but I think THAT's the key to lifelong weight control. Otherwise, its just using your band to strangle your desires. Its your desires and mental processes that you really have to work on to really become free of your weight problems.

Edited March 29, 2010 by Jachut

[Nettie 1]

Ok, some days I feel normal and others I even wonder what's normal anyway? I do have to be cautious of eating out due to battling alergies and still having issues with mucus. I have been banded over two years and I will say, I'm certainly glad I did it and would do it all over again!

[BetsyB 9]

I hate to say it, but I think many people who defend their more rigid regimes are really still clinging to the hope that if they do everythign right they will be rewarded. I

Nah...the reward (loss) will come, either way. My more rigid diet is helpful to me as I learn what this band does. A year-long commitment to a particular surgeon-recommended regimen may not bring any greater loss, but it will let me sort of brainlessly adapt to life with the band so that, as I do incorporate other foods, I will be able to really "hear" what my body tells me about them.

I don't know if that made sense. Let me give an example. I haven't had bread post-banding yet. Will I? Of course. But for now, I'm not having it. Why? I am new to the band, I am learning how to eat with it, and I still---as I do a little dance with restriction---am not 100 percent sure what will go down well and what will not. Even the sure-thing foods sometimes miss the mark. If i ate bread now, and it got stuck, it very well may have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it was bread, but be entirely due to the fact that it's 9:14 a.m. on Monday when I have PMS, and my band just didn't feel like it right at that very moment.

I want to learn to listen to the band so that I can determine what is a problem, what is due to the band's sort of capricious nature, and what is generally a sure thing.

That's all--no reward for being "good" (other than not experiencing discomfort), because frankly, a vanilla slice sounds pretty damn good.

But right now, I'm going to focus on reliably getting solids down --and on achieving a level of restriction that permits me to do so without difficulty while still controlling inappropriate hunger. THEN, I will feel equipped to approach food differently.

Like you, I ate healthily preoperatively. I ate too much, but I prepared healthy meals from healthy ingredients. Things really aren't going to be all that different once I figure out this little device. And now that I think about it, maybe that is the reward I'm hoping for.

[Bob Barnett 34]

I just want to be able to eat and live and not analyze everything so much. Right now I am either on a strict diet or I am gaining weight. Therefore, I agonize over everything that I put in my mouth.

I know that I will be the same with the band for awhile. I just want to get to a place were I can eat a normal healthy amount and be satisfied. Sometimes I eat really bad BUT for the most part I am a healthy eater. It would be so freeing to eat a normal amount of food and not obssess about eating more.

It doesnt help that most of my friends are skinny and eat a lot worse than I do. They completely dont understand and think that I am lazy. I AM NOT LAZY!! I actually have a very strong work ethic and put in countless hours. I walk, run, hunt, fish, hike, swim, do yard work, etc... This forum has been very helpful already bc I see a lot of ppl on here that are similar to me. I just hope the band is the tool hat will allow me to lose the weight and keep it off.