how do your spouses feel about your choice?

[tyler13 0]

My husband initially wasn't supportive. He did not want the gastric bypass or lap band. But after I told him, I didn't care if he didn't support me this is what I was going to do, he went with me to meet the surgeon and then became supportive. Now he see's how happy I am and more confident that I am, he says he is really glad I have done it.

[babsy 0]

My husband tries to be supportive, but he doesn't really understand. He does love me no matter what I look like, and after 32 years he has seen me looking good and bad. Plus, he's as overweight as I am, but sees no need to change. He doesn't have the high blood pressure or cholesterol I have, or the family history of cardiac disease and diabetes I wish to avoid. He had no objections, as he always supports what I do. He also doesn't question medical decisions, because I'm a nurse so he thinks I know more about it than he does (right).

Before the surgery, I was given a book on lap-band® surgery by my surgeon. I didn't ask him to read it, just left it lying around, and he read all of it and now has more understanding.

I do know that he will feel insecure when I get closer to my goal. Just experience. When we had our first baby, he felt insecure because he didn't feel as important. When I got my masters degree he got "funny" for a while, and eventually admitted he was worried I would leave him for someone smarter. When my sister got divorced he worried I'd divorce him too (no reason). Guess it's a fair swap. He tells me how hot I'm looking (even before I started losing weight). I'll in turn reassure him that I still love him and I'm not going anywhere.

I too think that relationships should not make you feel bad about yourself. No abuse should be tolerated, physical, emotional or verbal. This is not just for thin people, but for all of us.

[LapBandBobbi 8]

I am very lucky to have a husband who supported my decision to have lap-band. Before we were married, I tried to get approved by my insurance, but was denied. After we were married, I went on his insurance and was approved right away. He has been by my side every step of the way and has been very supportative! What a wonderful man!

[Devontie 0]

I'm getting the band on 3/31/10, my wife is supportive of me getting the band. I have Diabetes and I had a heart attack last year so I need to lose 100 pounds. I'm 287 now and want to get to 190.

She and I are concerned about the surgery because I'm a higher risk then most people getting surgery because I had a pulmonary embolisom 5 years ago as a result of surgery. I'm going to have the surgery because I believe the reward is greater then the risk.

My fingers are crossed.

[Marine mom 3]

I'm getting the band on 3/31/10, my wife is supportive of me getting the band. I have Diabetes and I had a heart attack last year so I need to lose 100 pounds. I'm 287 now and want to get to 190.

She and I are concerned about the surgery because I'm a higher risk then most people getting surgery because I had a pulmonary embolisom 5 years ago as a result of surgery. I'm going to have the surgery because I believe the reward is greater then the risk.

My fingers are crossed.

Good thoughts being sent out. I was really scared going into the surgery, but it went well. Hoping the same for you.:confused:

[mvonmelon 0]

Hi All! I just joined - my surgery was on 3/11/10. My husband and my children (who are all thin and eat like horses) have been my greatest support throughout this process. Although all of them tell me that I am beautiful just the way I am. However, I told them that appearance was only the second reason I wanted to lose weight. Having diabetes and high blood pressure hasn't been a picnic and I am tired of all the meds and my inability to move around with ease.

My husband and my children have participated every step of the way with me and I have been very up front with my kids (ages 18, 12, 10) since they have been curious and concerned and I didn't want to fear from a lack of knowledge and understanding.

But to get back to my wonderful husband....he has always been the cook in the family (I hate it!) and continues to participate in making my meals now. He even preps things and puts them in the fridge for me to make certain that I do the right thing. Of course, I am going to start taking on responsibility for this as soon as I get on solid foods, but for now, it sure is nice being babyed as I get through these initial phases.

Good luck to all and God Bless.

Mariolina

[Devontie 0]

MissyMS,

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

[michael watkins 0]

my wife was and still is very supportive through the whole process! she went to all of my pre op apointments and the seminar and consultation!it is really nice having your spouse support you all the way and understand how hard it is!

[mbranham0306 0]

My husband is and has always been very supportive. We've always been able to discuss everything before we make decisions. I had alot of heart problems, high blood pressure, asthma, and sleep apnea. Walking around was so exhausting for me. Now I only take a 5mg high blood pressure pill and can walk for miles! He went to the weight loss seminar with me and asked very impressive questions about the band and gastric bypass. He went to all the doctors visits and my surgeon sends home a 3 ring binder full of information that they suggest you go over with your spouse. My husband is legally blind and has a hard time reading small print. He got the binder and brought it to me and asked me to read it to him. He wanted to be informed. He very strongly agreed about the band, he didn't want me to do the more invasive surgery.

He took a weeks vacation the week I had my surgery and it was wonderful having him home with me. He took care of me and kept me walking to make me feel better. He even took my drain out for me!

It's been 8 months since my surgery, I've now lost 96 pounds and he is still supportive. He encourages me to exercise without being pushy and is really interested in what I can eat. Heck, he even finds low carb recipes online for me so I won't get bored! He tells me everyday how proud he is of me and how much he respects how good I've done with this band.

He is the most awesome husband anyone could want! I love him so much and thank God everyday for blessing me with such a great man.

Edited March 24, 2010 by mbranham0306

[Kary 0]

My husband has been so supportive and cooks the right foods for me and comforts me on a hard day. He told me he's gonna miss grabbing on to my love handles though. LOL.:thumbup:

[JOURNEY BEGINS NOW 0]

Wow, you guys have no idea how lucky and blessed you are to have supportive spouses. My husband from the beginning said it was fine but the recovery could not take away from him or my two children. He said to be sure and be ready for our trip we had preplanned two days after the surgery. Me being who I am, I was ready to go on the trip despite not feeling 100%. I kind of feel now that because I had the surgery and tried to talk to him about being uncomfortable with my weight physically and emotionally he now knows I'm fat, lol. I feel like I brought attention to it and maybe before he didn't notice, lol. I laugh because it doesn't discourage me it just makes me feel like I should have done it and then told him afterward so I didn't have to really 'discuss' anything. Just maybe say, hey honey, no personal time for a couple days until I recoup from my surgery today, lol......anyway, I am very happy with my decision even though I have only seen a 4lb weight loss total but I'm ready to see this weight fall off :thumbup: and now have the tool to make it happen!