What now?! Please help!! Extremely depressed!!

[JustGav04 0]

Hey everyone. I hope everyone is doing well on their journey! I, unfortunately, am not.

I got banded 4/09. The first few months went well and I lost about 35-40 lbs. But then my partner (of 4 years) passed suddenly and I kind of lost it. Basically my band became the least of my worries. I never even had 1 fill. I resorted back to old and horrible habits. I up and moved and detached myself from everyone and everything. :frown:

I gained back about 10-15 lbs and pretty much stopped exercising. I am SO disappointed in myself, but when I got banded I was happy, motivated, and everything was going well. I NEVER contemplated suicide, but I am just extremely depressed. I'm sure I totally screwed up my band past the point of no return. I am too ashamed to even contact my surgeon's office after being gone basically 9 months, even though I recently moved back to the area.

PLEASE PLEASE I am begging anyone that can help me out! I've gotten a lot of help and treatment regarding my loss over the past year. I feel I am ready to return to the care and attention I gave my band when I was first banded. I have the tools, but I have NO idea where to go from here.

Thanks and good luck to everyone else!

[nursejess 0]

First of all, let me say I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my first husband in 1994 at the age of 27...I was 25...losing someone you love definitely impacts every facet of your life. I think if you were anything like me, it was just by the grace of God that we were able to walk around and breathe.

I am glad you are able to think about yourself now. If I were you, I would just call my surgeon and make an appt....they will definitely understand why they have not seen you and I think they will be glad to get you back on track. I pray God's strength and blessings on you. You will do great!

[kkarryall 0]

Sorry to hear about your loss...how stressful! Why don't you just start over...go and begin getting your fills. I personally didn't feel restriction until my 5th fill..so chances are you can prob still eat a lot. Maybe begin an exercise program when you feel you are ready. You already have the tool...now it is just time to start using it!!

[LeighaMason 19]

I understand your loss and I am sorry it happened. I don't think it is possible to mourn a loss like that and have the brain power left over to make the commitment that the band requires. I believe you made the best choice, mourn first and then worry about working your band when you are able. It will be best in the long run.

Now that you are feeling like you have the extra to commit it is time to start with your surgeon. I read this a lot, you don't want them to be disappointed in you, however we should remember they work for us. We are the customer, we are paying their salaries, that makes us the boss. If I chose to take a year off from my band journey that is my business, its my band. I paid for it either through self pay or through insurance premiums.

I would recommend a total restart, schedule a fill, commit to a 2 week liquid diet to clean your system of bad foods, stock your fridge with proper food choices, start a food journal, start a exercise program (even if that means a 10 min walk when you get home from work) and build from there. You can do it, we are here to help you.

ETA Plus I would like to point out that you are still down 25-35 pounds after what was probably the worst year of your life. I would bet that if you didn't have the band, you would have been up at least that amount. So you are probably 50-70 pounds ahead.

Edited March 19, 2010 by LeighaMason
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