I am SO upset and confused...VENTING

[youknowit 11]

Hi all. Just need to vent and any advice is greatly appreciated, here's my situation:

I've been having some pain in my lower abdomen, and having very dark urine as of the last couple days. Well, I was banded 11 days ago, have been following the rules to a T, and I decided I should go to my doc here and get checked out. He wasn't in so I went to urgent care. I did call my band surgeon's office to let them know what was happening, and he wasn't in, but an assistance was. He talked to me and was very condescending about "are you sure you're following the rules," and things like that. I said yes, of course. He asked why I didn't call sooner, and I said, "I did call twice, but no one got back to me." He said, "You must not have read all the rules and your packet, because we have an emergency number, and you should have called that." Unfortunately I got a little sarcastic (I was in pain, at the urgent care, and was frustrated) and said, "I must not have gotten to that page in the packet." Then I said, "I know there's an emergency number, and since I didn't have it with me at work, and this is in my opinion nothing to do with the band, I didn't think it was necessary to call the emergency number." Then my doc at the urgent care came in, and I told him I had to go and would call back.

When I got out of the office the actual surgeon did call me and we talked about the outcome of my visit to urgent care, etc, and he was very satisfied that I was following the rules, etc, and that the problem was nothing to do with the band. My doctor at urgent care said that I had a bladder infection and that had NOTHING to do with the band, so we are all on the same page.

So I get home, and the doc who I initially spoke with earlier today (not the surgeon) sent me an email stating that he wanted me to send pictures of my incisions to make sure they were fine, and then he goes on to say (direct quote): "Also continue with your medication. And I would like to point out to you that you had to read every page of the packet before the procedure. Here it is again, to make sure you understand."

Maybe I'm just tired from being "sick"... maybe I'm a bitch, I don't know, but his response was, in my opinion, very rude. I am really pissed about it, and I did write him back and say that I do understand the rules, the illness has nothing to do with the band, and that his condescending to me about "the rules" seemed very unprofessional.

Am I crazy, or was this way out of line? This wasn't even my surgeon (who is awesome, nice, and very helpful with ALL questions and concerns), but was another doc in his office, and I am just so pissed. I didn't get the email until after I spoke with my surgeon, and I don't really want to call him again to bitch, but I am truly upset about this.

Thanks for letting me vent, and any advice or thoughts, I'm all ears. :think

[Parvathi 2]

Fair enough to be upset over it, especially in the frame of mind you would have already been in, you didn't need that. Unfortunately, some people (not just doctors) have no bedside manners.

Glad to hear its just a bladder infection though. I would probably let the surgeon know about his colleague's behavior, just so he's aware of it.

[PamRN 0]

You absolutely must let your surgeon know that this other doc treated you so poorly. He needs to be aware that behavior happens as it reflects poorly on his office. You can at least let him know that do not want that doc involved with you or your case if he can't behave in a respectful/nonjudgemental manner. He was so concerned with insulting you and placing blame, he missed the significance of your symptoms... the dark urine should have immediately suggested a bladder infection... what a dope!

[La_madam 20]

Um Forward the email to your surgeon so he can see for himself, express how upset you were and how rude you felt this other Dr. treated you.

I'm glad you got things taken care of and it was not band related. Usuallyt darker urine means dehydration..keep pumping in those liquids. I know when I'm dehydrated I get a bladder infection very easily...

[KRZYGIRLNSTL 0]

I think this is very out of line for the Dr. This shouldnt be about what you didnt do and more about what can be done and if your ok. He should have taken your word on if you followed the rules. What a creep. I would write a letter to the office. Also, ive heard it's common to get a UT after surgery because the cathaters can cause them. Hope all that goes well.

[tztmama 0]

You are not crazy or bitchy. The dr. was rude and condescending, sounds to me.

[vinesqueen 2]

One thing to keep in mind is that often what we write doen't translate to how other people will read it. That's why written communication can be so damn tricky.

I know that when I'm sick or upset, I will read things into what was said. And I become less than my diplomatic self. Not saying this was you, just me. Glad it's just a UTI an not something serious.

Oh, and Welcome to Bandlandia!

[youknowit 11]

Hey all... Thanks for letting me vent and for all the advice. Unfortunately, I've been so sick and out of it all week, I just got back to read all your comments. I really appreciate it.

UPDATE: Since my last post on this subject, I have talked with the surgeons secretary and himself about this and they have both been quite compassionate. However, after my phone calls and then emails regarding that other doctor, he wrote me AGAIN, and was even more rude, saying that I hung up on him and how rude I am, and how he's not unprofessional, it's me and my problem, blah blah blah. I've decided (now that I feel better and don't want to battle) to the adult here and ignore it... However, I will pass it on to my surgeon and the secretary. They both know I will NOT deal with this other doctor at all, so at least we're on the same page...

At any rate, if anything further (beyond the most recent accusations and insults) arises, I'll certainly let you know. As always, thanks, and of course, more thoughts/advice are always appreciated.

[HarleyNana 10]

Helllooo, that surgeon is working for you, whether you paid cash or your insurance and his hired help needs to speak to you with respect and it's up to you to get it straight with the doctor OR his office manager and let them deal with it. Two weeks ago, my PCP's office left me sitting in the waiting room 45 minutes, then moved me to a room and I told the nurse if the doctor's no in there in 10 minutes, "I'm outta here", 10 minutes later, I walked out.

The nurse has called and left two messages and apologized, I might call them back and I might find another doctor. You deserve respect, demand it, gettem!

[Hedwig 0]

Wow that sounds like an obnoxious person. whats worse is when that condescending attitutude comes from someone that is supposed to care for people. I think your right about being the bigger person. Just let all that negative crap flow right out of you. You don't need it. take care and just smile if you ever come across that person again. even if you are secretly flicking them off.

[youknowit 11]

Thanks for the advice and support.

Harley -- I have made it very clear I don't want to talk with this particular doctor again... and the office manager has been super awesome and nice to me, so I guess it will all work out. Or, like you said, there's always another doc to go to...

[shrinazaldivar 0]

what a dope! How does a medical professional not figure out that its probably a bladder infection from your symptoms--it doesn't take a genius or a doctor for that. You didn't sound like it was anything to do with incisions or your port from that description---some people!! sounds like you have good handle on it all--hope you are feeling better