Am I the only one?

[Chantal0616 0]

So I am going through the approval process right now with my insurance company for the lapband surgery, and I haven't told many people at all..is that strange? The only people that know is my husband and a couple close friends. My husband keeps asking me why I don't want to tell anyone that I am having this surgery, and it's hard to explain why. I guess I'm just fearful to hear people's negativity. I just wanted to see if others feel this same way?:wub:

[vflores919 0]

Hi Chantal!

That is a great question! I'm also going thru the approval process and have also remained pretty silent about my decision. Ive only told a couple family members and close friends. I know exactly how you feel. I work at the hospital that I plan on having my surgery and don't plan on saying anything to any coworkers unless asked. I think after the surgery I'll be more comfortable with sharing my experiences and journey with others. It's not that I'm ashamed or embarrassed. I'm just a lil fearful of negative comments. I don't know if it's like that for most people, but that's definitely how I feel so far. :wub:

[cwm812 11]

It's a long time ago for me now, but I only told my husband for months. I wanted to make sure that I knew what I wanted before everyone else started weighing in with their opinion. As my surgery got closer, I told more people. By then, I was sure of my decision and their opinions didn't bother me. In my case, most people were supportive (at least to my face!). Now, I have no problem with people knowing about it, but back then, I wanted to make sure it was my decision, not someone else's.

Cindy

[azguy101 0]

I didn't tell anyone, except my wife of course, until I was approved. I hesitated to tell more people, but...I just felt like being tranparent and open. It is a risk, as you know people will be monitoring what I eat, if am losing...etc - but...I just wanted to put it out there. Indeed, many may be critical of my decision, but I can't worry about "their" reaction. I am trying to keep focused on what is important and what I can control. Good luck to you.

[BetsyB 9]

I don't think you're strange at all. Many people do not share with others.

When I was in the preop, pre-approval stage, I shared very judiciously. But as time has gone on, I've been more and more enthusiastic--and cared less and less about peoples' reactions.

That doesn't mean I tell every single person who notices I've lost weight that I was banded. It's more personal than that. But I do share, if someone I know and care about asks how I'm doing it.

Part of the reason why I have done this is because, back when I was losing on my own, the father of one of my son's friends stopped by to pick the boys up. His wife mentioned that he, too, had lost a lot of weight---and when I asked how he was doing it, he said, "I don't usually share this, but I have a gastric band."

About a year later, there I was, still struggling to lose weight---and thinking about banding. I'd seen his success---and his willingness to share that with me really helped me make the decision to at least attend a surgeon seminar. (I didn't know, at the time, that we chose the same surgeon---but was THRILLED to find that out when I was making my final decision.)

I figure: If knowing about this very, very positive thing I've done for myself helps anyone, I'm willing to share. It's not shameful, and so far, I've gotten nothing but positive feedback from people.

That said, there are people I have not shared with because I don't want to hear their responses (inlaws, anyone? No, really--I'm giving them away!)

Good luck with whatever you decide.I don't think there's a right or wrong way to handle this information. It's YOURS, and yours to deal with the way you choose.

[AnneGG 0]

I've been sharing because I'm so excited to find something that will support me. I don't feel at all ashamed or private about it- I've struggled too long with my weight, as I'm sure we all have.

When I speak about having the surgery, it somehow reinforces the reality to me. Plus I like for people, even the negative ones (and there have been a couple, but mostly neutral or positive), to help support me in being accountable for what I say I'm going to do. There's a part of me that is just too much of a weasel getting away with justifications, and I need all the support I can get.

Also, if it helps someone else, so much the better.

Edited March 16, 2010 by AnneGG

[trisha lynne 0]

Im going through the same thing, my surgery date is march 30 and i only told my husband and parents. Im embarressed that i cant do it on my own, feel like a faliure! I also dont want to hear anything negative, maybe some day when im at my goal and i prove to mysellf i can do it, then i will share with other people. Good luck to you and do what makes you happy!

[AnneGG 0]

Im embarressed that i cant do it on my own, feel like a faliure!

I guess I would say to that, does a diabetic feel ashamed or weak because they have to take insulin? Is there really any difference? We all need help from time to time, and I am so grateful something like a band is available.

That said, I think we all have to say or do what we're comfortable with. I just hate the stigma attached to weight.

Actually, doing something like this takes a lot of guts (no pun intended). We all deserve so much credit!

Edited March 16, 2010 by AnneGG

[HappyMom 1]

I am being banded on March 25th and I have only told my husband. I am not really comfortable with discussing it with family and friends right now. I am confident in my decision to get the band and I really don't know how they will react.

Also, I don't really want the added "perceived" pressure of them watching me and judging me on my rate of weight loss.

Maybe it is all in my head....my family and friends would probably be very supportive....but I for right now my husband is enough of a support (along with this board) for me!

Good luck to you and your journey!

[Daisy411 0]

I had my surgery last wednesday and previous to having the surgery I only told a few people. Sometimes you just don't want to hear everyone's opinions. Now that my surgery is done I am telling everyone.

[bella71 0]

I shared my decision to have the Lap Band with some people, and I withheld it from others. It depends on the type of relationship I have with them.

I found that some people were judgmental and made ignorant comments. But, instead of debating the issue with them, I simply told them my reasons for having the surgery and left it at that. In order to have this procedure, you need to develop a thick skin. Everyone is going to have something to say about it, and it won't all be positive. You have to know that you are doing the right thing for yourself.:scared2:

[mstasha1980 0]

No, nobody knows about mines but my mom and a friend of mines who did the bypass so I know what you mean it will come out when you ready for it too

So I am going through the approval process right now with my insurance company for the LAP-BAND® surgery, and I haven't told many people at all..is that strange? The only people that know is my husband and a couple close friends. My husband keeps asking me why I don't want to tell anyone that I am having this surgery, and it's hard to explain why. I guess I'm just fearful to hear people's negativity. I just wanted to see if others feel this same way?:scared2:

[mstasha1980 0]

Just banded on the 9th became super sick with nausea and no appetite whatsoever nothing taste good and nothing smells good and when I try to eat I may get two or three bites in and that's a wrap so on my post-op doctors visit on yesterday I was 12 lbs down in 6days now that I can live with. Do I miss food not really I thought that it would be difficult for me I think I miss drinking more. If you have any questions ask me. Thank you!

[KimDB 0]

This was one of the very first questions I asked as well when I started the process in January. I had no idea how common it was.

I am 3 months into the process, looking for surgery next month if I can get them to schedule it for me (going in today for a required pre-op class and am finally down enough pre-op weight to get a date). I still find myself thinking about whether to say anything to people and so far still deciding no.

Did tell some neighbors early on who were very negative. Told them I had decided against it and shut my mouth after that.

[Chantal0616 0]

Thanks for the reply's everyone, it really helps to hear someone else's point of view and experiences. Well I'm done with all my prerequirements, I'm just waiting on my surgeons office to send the paperwork to my insurance for approval and their taking forever LOL. Someone needs to light a fire under their butt I guess. Does anyone have any experience with BCBS of TX and if so how long does it usually take to get approved? Also I like the little weight loss tickers on ya'lls comments, how do you get it to post on every comment though? Do you have to add the posting code everytime you write a reply?