Lap Band Limericks

[bandpal 7]

On a blind date, a gal from Kentucky,

Over dinner became a bit stucky;

Not entranced with her beau, she just let it all flow,

Thinking "mucky beats feeling unlucky".

[bandpal 7]

Serenity and Leigha - You guys are great - keep 'em coming!

[LeighaMason 19]

There was a girl who stayed on the couch

To her family she was quite the grouch

Now I can run for a mile

She said with a smile

After her Lap Band created a new pouch.

[serenity55 15]

A bandster who went on a trip,

Got in trouble and felt her band slip!

She went to a doctor,

The news he had shocked her,

Her trip had a slip and port flip!

[serenity55 15]

A pre banded gent in Biloxi,

Said, "All of this weight really sucks. See

I can't move around,

No love have I found,

The band's bound to change all my luck, see?"

[serenity55 15]

At a support meeting one night,

Two bandsters got in to a fight

Who knows why they fought!

And everyone thought,

That in the head, neither was right!

[bandpal 7]

A Jane from Elaine, Arkansas,

Took a stand on the Band with her Paw,

She said: "Listen here, Pop, every diet's a flop,

When I lose weight, I gain even more!"

[bandpal 7]

A Bandster from Boyd, Oregon

Had been feeling a little withdrawn.

LBT's support group got him back in the loop,

Now his spirit's as bright as the dawn.

[bandpal 7]

In Arlington Heights, Illinois,

A young bandster was weepy with joy,

Without using a pole, he had wiped on the bowl

For the first time since he was a boy.

[serenity55 15]

To all the folks at lap band talk,

Who ride bikes or treadmill, or take walks,

At work, play or rest,

You're all just the best!

You can't erase this, it ain't chalk!

Debbie

[serenity55 15]

I once met a bandster from Lansing,

Who asked if I'd like to go dancing.

When I answered "yes,"

I would never have guessed

That what he had in mind was--romancing!

Debbie

[serenity55 15]

I know that my band's just a tool,

But what it has done is so cool!

Now that I've lost some weight,

I can put on my skates,

And I hope I won't look like a fool!

Debbie

[serenity55 15]

There once was a bandster who slimed.

He said, "I've done that for the last time!

No more bread for me!

And the reason? You see,

P B ing and sliming's a crime!"

Debbie

[serenity55 15]

A bandster whose band was too tight,

Was overtaken by fright.

She could keep nothing down,

Was afraid she would drown

From the P B's and slime in the night!

Debbie

[serenity55 15]

What foods can a bandster eat?

What things are considered as treats?

Apples and nuts

Are all right for me, but

The thing I love most are sweets.

Yes I can hear some of you say,

That you won't reach your goal that way.

Who says that I won't?

So what if I don't

Get there quickly? I'll reach it some day!

Debbie!