Too much fluid in band...feel like a failure.

[Winkiespleen 0]

Hello. I was banded on March 30th, 2009. I started out at 283 pounds. When I got on the scale this morning, it said 189.4.

I got a fill last week because I realized I was starting to eat too much food. After my last fill, my meals were restricted ALOT. For Breakfast, I'd have half of a bagel thin (about 55 calories) with cream cheese. I could only eat about 3-4 bites of food before I got full. 6-7 makes me throw up.

So, obviously, it's time for me to get an unfill. But I feel like a failure...like I should just stick it out, so I can lose weight.

I've also been feeling depressed lately. Has anyone gone through this? I've suffered from depression for over half of my life, but I feel like it's gotten worse. Maybe my meds aren't working anymore? Or maybe it's from lack of food?

I'm tired of feeling sad. :blushing:

[LeighaMason 19]

My new favorite saying "You haven't failed until you quit!" as long as you are working with your band you can not be termed a failure. You have lost almost 100 pounds. How many people have done that? Seriously.

I got a fill last month that just kept getting tighter, .7 then I went back 10 days later and they took .3 out. What a relief! There is no reason for you to suffer. Take a little out. The band is for teaching you sustainable eating habits. You cant live the rest of your life on a few bites of food at a time, besides it will encourage grazing and then weight gain. A half unfill isn't bad. Then you will still have some restriction.

I don't think you can be getting your proper nutrients from the way you describe eating. So yes I think lack of food could be affecting your mood. Have you talked to your Dr that prescribes your depression meds? Maybe they just need tweaked. Plus we could all use some sunshine.

I'm sorry that you are feeling sad, do you have some preop pictures that you could compare to your current ones? (If you don't have current ones you really need to take some) Sometimes when I am sad I minimize my accomplishments and if I have a visual reminder that cant be denied it will make me feel better. 100 pounds has to make a real difference in your appearance! Try and concentrate on the positive. Try and silence the inner voice that is saying bad things (OK maybe you don't have this but I do, I have to shut it up a lot!) Good luck and keep us posted.

[ValJean 6]

Winkiespleen--I've been in this same situation and I would 100% advise you to go back to the doc and get a slight unfill. I was too tight and tried to "stick it out" for a couple months--I ended up with a stretched pouch and had to get completely unfilled and am now still trying to build back up to my sweet spot. Please don't put yourself through the pain and stress of being too tight--you need to be able to get your nutrition in!

As for feeling sad, I too have suffered through depression most of my life (am on medication as well), and have definitely noticed some major ebbs and flows in my moods over the past year since being banded. On top of my prescription medication treatment, I was always a "food medicator." Being banded, I'm no longer able to bury my feelings by cramming food down my throat. It was a very hard adjustment, it's still hard. That's why it's so important, in my opinion, to have a strong support system behind you--friends, family, surgical support group, this forum. It's important that you have an outlet to share your feelings.

I also want to say to Leigha that your suggestion about taking and looking back on photos is right on! From the first day of my pre-op diet, I had my boyfriend take my picture each week. On the worst, hardest days, looking back on those first pictures and seeing how far I'd come really saved me! It's so important for us to remember, respect, and reward ourselves for the successes we've had and will continue to have on this journey.

Winkiespleen--please feel free to send me a PM if you want to talk more, I'm happy to listen!

Val

[BetsyB 9]

I'm sorry you're feeling blue--depression can make any of us feel like a failure even if we're resounding successes---like you are!

You know, it may not be the fill that's the problem, but rather your food choices.

How do you do with Protein? Nonstarchy veggies? If those are too much for you now, how about full liquids and/or mushies?

Your fill was recent---and might need a bit of babying before you advance your diet. You may also find that things that you tolerated before--like bagels---just don't work any more.

That doesn't make YOU a failure. It makes Bagels the issue!

If you're not eating the way you want/need to eat, then a small unfill might do the trick. But before leaping to that conclusion (and the conclusion I was a failure), I'd back up a little bit for a few days.