Expectations unrealistic?!?!?!

[LongTimeComing 0]

Was talking to my friend last night, she had LAP-BAND® done Nov. 08 and has lost only about 60lbs. :thumbup: This surprises me when I see some of the weight loss posted here. The funny thing is her DR. told her before the surgery that all she would lose is 60-70lbs. I asked my DR how much weight i could expect to lose and his response was "how much do you want to lose?" I told him I'm hoping to lose @ 150lbs. He told me it was possible. I mentioned this to my friend and she said "look at who lost 100lbs + you read about them online or see them on tv selling the product they aren't the average jo." Well I'm sorry it's in my mind that I will lose this extra 150lbs! And I love her to death but this is the same person that when her mom had her 60th b-day bash she went to the DR and had some fill taken out so she could eat.....everything in sight. So I guess the reason for this post is to see if my expectations are really to high or is she just one of those ppl that don't want anyone to do better than she did with the band.

[BetsyB 9]

My doctor did tell me that the typical loss with the band is 50 percent of excess weight---at ONE YEAR postop. He went on to say that those who went on to use the tool wisely do, in fact, achieve the same results, long-term, as gastric bypass patients.

His patients tend to achieve their ultimate weight loss goals more than the average doctor's.

And I really do think that the reason why is that he helps us understand that it is possible to do so. If someone tells you, "You're only going to lose half of what you want" (or if that's what you hear--because, really, we don't know what your friend's surgeon actually told her), then a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy is apt to take place.

If you are told that you have a tool that will HELP you reach your goals--but that you will have to persist with the hard work ...well, forever---then I think your expectations are nothing even resembling unrealistic.

As long as you approach this as a real change in your life---something YOU will do, rather than something your band will do---I think your goals are attainable.

ETA: I guess what I'm saying is that, while your friend seems to be working against herself, it may be partly due to mis-education about (or deliberate obtuseness & refusal to "understand") the proper use of the band.

Edited March 9, 2010 by BetsyB

[dontgoggilme 0]

i do not think your expectations are unrealistic. as we all know, the band IS a tool. you have to use it like you're supposed to. you have to follow the plan. my doctor says compliance is number 1 to getting where you want to be and losing what you want to lose. it doesn't sound like your friend was very compliant if she was having her Fluid let out so she could pig out for a birthday party. my doctor is really picky about letting people's fluid out. he said that if you have something lodged in there, he'd rather have them in go in and extract out the object that release the fluid from the band because it's like starting over from day one. and i can't imagine anyone wanting to do that just so they could eat and be non compliant. i think you can get anywhere you want to if you use your band/your tool the way you should. good luck! =)

[kirafiki 0]

Both previous responses were right on! As a matter of fact, my doctor's office said the same thing about the 50% excess weight loss as the average. When I went in to see them as I had just passed the 50% mark, they said "the rest from here is all gravy" and I just kept going.

Everyone's goals are different. Some want a weight at which they don't have the same medical conditions they did before the band, like high blood pressure, adult onset diabetes, etc. I have always considered any loss a success, as long as the individual is happy with what they have done.

I was asked my goal weight when I started this journey, and I said 165. I had no idea what that would be like, since I hadn't been there since junior high. I made that goal last Saturday, and now I am aiming lower.

There are as many different success stories as there are people. If you focus on your goal, work with your band and not against it, learn to live and entirely new way then you will be successful, whatever that means for you.

My expectations are high for myself.... otherwise I wouldn't be down 152 pounds.

Your success is yours to define, no one else's. Good Luck!

[mrslamica 3]

It sounds like your friend is being "unrealistic" about the purpose of her band. The whole idea is to help you learn how to eat less...thus resulting in weight loss Something you have to keep in mind is that everyone is different and they loose different- some are larger (which means they will loose more)- some are working out along with their diet (which means they will loose more). Cheating the system by taking Fluid in and out so you can eat more or less is not the way to optimize weightloss with this tool...that is why she is just average with her weight loss.

If I am not mistaken, the people who post pictures on this site are NOT paid to do so. These are REAL people that REALLY want to make a change...not paid actors or real people who have been paid to advertise and "sell" a product.

I just wouldn't let the negativity get you down. 150lbs is a lot of weight to loose, but it's totally possible! I think that you can loose whatever you want to loose...especially with the assistance of the LapBand!

Good luck!

[LeighaMason 19]

There is a trainer in the car business who says "under promise and over deliver", I think this is what your Dr is doing. He wants to keep your expectations down so that if it is slow at first you don't get discouraged and give up. If he under promises you 50 pounds and the you over deliver on effort and lose 100 you are happy. If he promises you 100 and you only put the effort out to lose 50 then its his fault. I am a firm believer that getting the band to work is 100% attitude and effort (excluding any medical problems that can arise).

[gingerjane 5]

I haven't got my band, yet, but am in the midst of my 2 week pre-op diet and I have some expectations but most of those are on myself. Even with this liquid diet, I have to use A LOT of willpower. I think that with the band, it's a matter of changing behaviors. It's not letting the fill out so you can go wild at a party. It's about adapting and changing your life. With the band, it doesn't mean she couldn't enjoy some good things at the party. It just means she can't eat 1/4 of the cake and everything else in site. It's a means of moderating yourself, too.

Those are my thoughts. Hopefully, I'm not completely crazy and delusional about it. I think that I've struggled all my life to keep the weight off. I know what I'm supposed to eat. I just need something to hopefully keep me honest. I don't want to ruin that.

I've seen people lose a TON of weight with WLS. I think it's all in how you approach it. I'm lucky that my doctor has a full program so there are support meetings, etc. It's not a "band and go" type of program. I have a nutritionist that I can e-mail 24/7, etc. I'm hoping to leverage that to get me through.

You'll do great. Tell yourself that you're not her. You are YOU. She is doing what she wants with hers. You can reach the full potential with yours.

[kirafiki 0]

I haven't got my band, yet, but am in the midst of my 2 week pre-op diet and I have some expectations but most of those are on myself. Even with this liquid diet, I have to use A LOT of willpower. I think that with the band, it's a matter of changing behaviors. It's not letting the fill out so you can go wild at a party. It's about adapting and changing your life. With the band, it doesn't mean she couldn't enjoy some good things at the party. It just means she can't eat 1/4 of the cake and everything else in site. It's a means of moderating yourself, too.

Those are my thoughts. Hopefully, I'm not completely crazy and delusional about it. I think that I've struggled all my life to keep the weight off. I know what I'm supposed to eat. I just need something to hopefully keep me honest. I don't want to ruin that.

I've seen people lose a TON of weight with WLS. I think it's all in how you approach it. I'm lucky that my doctor has a full program so there are support meetings, etc. It's not a "band and go" type of program. I have a nutritionist that I can e-mail 24/7, etc. I'm hoping to leverage that to get me through.

You'll do great. Tell yourself that you're not her. You are YOU. She is doing what she wants with hers. You can reach the full potential with yours.

Nicely said~!

[btrieger 21]

I was carrying an excess 195 pounds when I asked my surgeon if it would be possible to lose every bit of it with the lapband.

He gave the same response we all hear, "most patients lose 50-60% of their excess weight" but he also added, "those that put in the extra work required lose 100%."

He assured me that hundreds of his lapband patients have lost all of their excess weight and kept it off.

That's all I needed to hear.

I personally think that those that are successful are the ones using both tools necessary.

The lapband, as it should be used and a positive attitude. The latter being the most important. Without a positive attitude you won't follow the rules for the lapband.

I lost 50% of my excess weight in the 5 months leading up to my surgery. If your friend is right, I had surgery for nothing.

If she is a close friend, try and help her gain a positive attitude but don't let her turn yours negative.

Good luck!

[erikaw1971 0]

Yeah, I totally think doctors are really giving the soft sell on it lately. My doc said 50% of your extra weight is the norm. I told him not good enough for me...I want 100% of the extra weight. So I'm willing to go to the mat for it - I'll do what I have to do to make it happen. He explained that GB is more of a given for weight loss. I said no way, the band will be my buddy.

It's important to remember that the 50% is the average. Someone has to lose much more and someone less. A woman in my support group lost 20 pounds and she's done. I'll take her as the "less" and I'll be the "more".

And I swear...I will NEVER EVER take fill out in order to eat more (my pregnancies are verifiably DONE). I am frankly disgusted and horrified by this idea of taking out fill. I don't think my doctor would do it, I HOPE my doctor has never done it unless it was medically necessary.

Lately this kind of stuff has made me pretty angry/annoyed. This is SURGERY. It's serious. This is morbid OBESITY. It's serious. :cursing:Anyone who would remotely consider taking out fill to binge is right back to the beginning and it's not looking like a good future.

[erikaw1971 0]

Oh Gawd, I didn't mean to hijack your thread for my soapbox. I tried a new Protein Drink today and it was so nasty it pissed me off for hours. (Isopure Melon/Apple - just say no.)

You'll do great because you know what to do and what not to do in order to meet your expectations. Your friend will, in a way, probably help you by showing you what not to do.

Good luck on your journey!

[Catherine55 43]

He gave the same response we all hear, "most patients lose 50-60% of their excess weight" but he also added, "those that put in the extra work required lose 100%."

That's what I've heard -- and experienced -- as well. Most bandsters who I know (in real life as well as through the blogging community) lose well over the average. My doctor told me that the reason the average is so low is due to people who have complications, or who do not manage their care well and get fills when needed, or who drink shakes and other fattening slider foods regularly.

My recommendation is to ignore that statistic and know that you are going to be one of the many people who does much better than that with the band!

Best wishes for your success!!

Catherine

[coloradobanding 5]

And I swear...I will NEVER EVER take fill out in order to eat more (my pregnancies are verifiably DONE). I am frankly disgusted and horrified by this idea of taking out fill. I don't think my doctor would do it, I HOPE my doctor has never done it unless it was medically necessary.

Lately this kind of stuff has made me pretty angry/annoyed. This is SURGERY. It's serious. This is morbid OBESITY. It's serious. :cursing:Anyone who would remotely consider taking out fill to binge is right back to the beginning and it's not looking like a good future.

I totally respect your opinion on this but totally disagree.

I will spare you listed instances that an unfill is quite appropriate and just say this...

The band is a TOOL. Everyone uses it the way THEY SEE FIT. To say that someone who gets an unfill that isn't medically necessary is not committed is just plain wrong.

I get unfills every 8-10 months and will for the foreseeable future. I do not need to tell you the reasons why I choose to do this, it is the way I CHOOSE to use the tool and it works PERFECTLY for me. Just had to share

[atgoalgal 0]

The facts are published on the manufacturers websites. Average or typical results are about 50% EWL in clinical studies. Results for the band and gastric bypass are roughly the same at 3 years and beyone. That being said lots of us have achieved results not typical by (as so many have eloquently commented on this thread) by working with our doctors and their staff to really use this amazing tool. I'm in my fourth year and have achieved 100% EWL. Getting my band and learning to use it has absolutely made the difference between yoyoing and finally achieving what I thought was beyond my reach - achieving a normal, healthy weight (BMI<25), and maintaining that weight. Also wanted to add that for those who "only achieve" average weight loss, keep in mind that diet and exercise alone has a 95% failure rate. If you're interested I have more information about this on my blog at Transforming #002, Maintaining #003, My Lap-Band® Journey: RESULTS NOT TYPICAL

When people ask me about getting the band, I really encourage them to do their homework, like you are trying to do, understand the facts, and go in eyes wide open. I believe that greatly improves our odds for better long-terms success with our lap-bands. Good luck with your decision.

[LongTimeComing 0]

wow, thanx for all your responses, just got home and read them all. Glad to see that I'm not thinking unrealistically. Because I really do plan on losing 100% of EW. And can't wait to do it.

I always kindda thought that her big issue was that her mom and dad paid cash for her surgery, so she didn't have go thru the weight lose program or come up with the money on her own so I don't think she took the band as serious as most.

She even stated that she "eats around the band". not sure what this is how she would do it and I don't think I care to know. But I know one thing for sure, I have a secret weapon that she didn't/doesn't...I have you guys that will see me thru this and answer and question I may have, support me thru a rough patch, understand and not judge me when I make a mistake. This forum has been a great deal of information, encouragement and inspiration pre band and I can tell it only gets better on the other side. Again thank you all for all the comments.