Why Tell Anyone?

[vflores919 0]

hi!

I'm currently in the approval stages with my insurance and I've only told my mom and a couple of my best friends. I decided to only tell people who will definitely offer me sound and healthy support and advice. I'm fully aware of the complications and risks and I don't need to hear anyone's negatives comments. My mother's initial reaction was "I dont think you need a surgery to help you lose the weight." I quickly straightened her out about that and explained that even though I have been successful in losing it in the past, I always gain it back and that all i ask is that she support me. She's on board now. But Ive decided not to tell anyone else anymore. I already have cold feet and really do not need someone to scare me out of doing it, or worse make a rude remark and make me feel bad. I'm certain that I'm making the right decision and that's the only thing that matters to me at this point. The few people I have chosen to tell have proven to be a great support system for me so far.

:wub:

[perryjoyce 0]

I find this topic interesting because I have been struggling with it myself. I am only in the pre-insurance approval phase, but my brother and my boyfriend know. Some days I want to jump up and down and tell EVERYONE and some days I just want to keep it between the three of us. I've started up e-mails telling people about my decision only to delete them unsent. I think I will probably wait until I have some success to stand behind and then I won't be able to shut up about it! :smile:

I work with a group of terminal dieters who also happen to be quite chatty/gossipy. If I do lose weight they will certainly ask "how I did it" and if one knows, they'll all know. So the work bridge will have to be crossed sloooooooooooooowly.

[Ravyn 0]

I feel as though this is a decision that I did not make lightly. It takes away time from my family and my life and I don't need doubt at this time. I have decided to tell 2 family members about my decision as I will need their support in getting to and from the surgical center. As I lose weight I will simply tell people that I have changed the way I eat, which is true. I have decided that people are judgmental and often negative when you're attempting to do something positive. I have even had people make adverse comments about my decision to get another degree. Those people aren't living in my shoes or dealing with the hurt and pain that I've experienced as a result of the excessive weight gain in the course of 3 years. I feel that this is a decision that will better my life not only for me, but for my son. I will share my experience in this venue as it is anonymous and highly supportive. Unfortunately sometimes those closest to us, understand us the least in certain situations. It seems that weight is one of those situations. I wish you all the best on your journey to a healthier you and may you receive all the support you require as this is a tough and often lonely journey.

Glad I have you all and my two cousins because they are AWESOME!!

[Kalipso2 25]

i chose to tell people because my eating habits have changed so drastically. people will notice that you're only eating a quarter of food that you normally would eat. there are certain foods i can't eat... like hamburgers and bread... so it makes it difficult going out to lunch with co-workers or friends.

[KarenCI 0]

If you choose to tell just a few people, be sure to ask them to keep it confidential! I told ONE person in my (very small) town, and now everyone I know knows about it and probably some folks I don't. Luckily most are supportive, but there is always that one overweight person who will walk up to you at a social function and in front of a dozen people squeal "I heard about your surgery, now all that weight is just going to fall off in no time!" and you will want to kill her. At least I did :-) But I'm learning to develop a sense of humor about it, and one thing about having the whole world know, at least it's powerful motivation to stay on track!!

[pk3207 1]

I told two of my closest friends and they looked at me like i was crazy for even thinking about it... I told my boyfriend and he looked at me the same way! If you cant tell these people, who can you tell? After that I second guessed the operation.. On the other hand my mom gives me full support! When I do get it done, I wont be telling anyone.

[pk3207 1]

So, I am chosing only to tell my immeidate family; At work when I am gone and someone asks where I was, what should I say? I can't say female surgery as I had that last year....hernia, gladder, etc? I am close to some people at work and feel guilty not telling them but it would get around and I don't want people talking...what should I say?

Tell them you took vacation! when they ask where just say to visit family! that would work right?

[ainnjay 1]

I don't have a surgery date yet...waiting to see if I get approval (Aetna). I work in the health insurance industry and we constantly promote wellness. I always feel like a hypocrite and hate it. I am choosing (at least at this point) not to tell anyone at work. Weight loss surgery is something a lot of the folks I work with recommend our groups do NOT cover. I am also not going to tell my family. I live in a different state and only see them 4 times a year or so. My daughter (13) knows and a few of my very close friends. I joined WW at work and am hoping to just go with that.

[KarenCI 0]

It's funny - maybe more experienced bandsters can weigh in and confirm or refute - but as the weight loss becomes more noticeable it seems that my thin(ner) friends are very supportive and the overweight ones are becoming ambushers!! Those who are naturally thin, or work hard to keep the weight off, ask a few questions, understand the band is just another tool in the weight loss war, and are positive. Those who have 20+ pounds to lose are almost snotty - like 'well, sure, you're losing weight, you took the easy way out and got lap band. . . ' Be prepared for jealousy!!

[mstwash 0]

I have told a few of my coworkers about the surgery and overall they are supportive, but I am moving out of town in about a month and I dont think I plan on telling anyone new about it, unless they are really needing information or advice about it for themselves. I just feel now, that if I am losing weight and they dont know about the surgery,and the band really works when I put in the work then why do I have to tell everyone that I had surgery. Do people on weight watchers have to tell everyone? "I only lost weight because I do weight watchers everyday". Do people that jog everyday have to tell everyone?, "I only lost weight because I jogged everyday". NO.

[perryjoyce 0]

The problem I had is that in my area (and maybe yours too) you can't walk two feet without running into a 1-800-GET-THIN billboard, bus stop, or other for of obnoxious advertisement. Even I thought the lap band was a gimmick!! When my doctor suggested I research it I was shocked. Then I did m homework and realized it's no gimmick, just a reliable tool with a promising success rate! So there is a stigma and family and friends who care about you are rightfully going to maybe raise an eyebrow. To those who have not done the research it really sounds like just another in a long line of shady fads. So I only tell those who I have the luxury of explaining what it is, why it's safe, and why I think it'll work for me. I usually end my little speech with "...and insurance will cover it, so clearly it's legit!" That usually puts people at ease. It's natural for our loved ones to be skeptical, they care! So we just have to educate and inform until they are as comfortable with it as we are.

[JoMi 5]

This is so interesting. I am just in the discovery phase of the Lap Band, having recently decided I am powerless over food and that I need more help than Weight Watchers can give me.

I have thought about this question a lot since deciding to pursue this. I am only telling my family and one or two close friends. I have already run into things at work that makes me realize that it's a hostile environment and that I need to keep work and personal separate.

I will probably take a two week vacation pre and post op and when changes are evident, I will just tell people that I have been working with a nutritionist and leave it at that.

[TheresaB75 0]

I am just a very open person. So I have told everyone. I am also a nurse and we are all a very close group of women.

I am so happy to say that I have had not one negative reaction. Everyone is so excited for me, thinks this is such a great thing. I have one ex-coworker who says she is taking me on a shopping trip when I am ready.

I have over 200 pounds to lose, so my weight and struggles with it are no secret. I certainly hope that the support and encouragement continues as the weight loss occurs.

My mom and I booked a cruise today for Feb of 2011, and I thought to myself...wow I am going to enjoy that cruise so much more than any of the others. I will fit in the tiny bathroom better, will fit in the chairs at dinner. I won't be as self conscious going out to the dance clubs at night. Just over all I know I will have a better time.

[mscafe32 0]

My parents, my sister and of course my husband are the only people who will know. Oh yeah and my cousin who is like a sister.

They are all very supportive, but did tell me that they loved me just the way I am. I was fine with that because I am doing this for me.

[lauragshsu 6]

I have told everyone! Heck, I was on a job interview last week, and I told the person I was interviewing with that I had just been banded. We then got into a big discussion about it, and she wanted to know more about it, because she, too, was considering it. There are a few people I will not tell. There are several coworkers I know who hate all medical procedures or medicine of any kind. I sat there for 45 minutes while they bashed people on anti-depressants. When they finally asked me what I thought, I told them "neither of you have obviously suffered from post-partum depression like I have", and left the room. Some people will judge no matter what.