The challenge of being a bandster bride

[onyah 0]

I keep feeling a need to clarify to people that my surgery was scheduled before I got engaged! I never want anyone to think that I got my band because of the wedding, as that seems like a really psycho-bride thing to do. :eek:

Anyhoo, as things turned out, I’m two weeks post-surgery and my wedding is in 7 months. While I totally admit that I’m excited to look good on my wedding day and to surprise those who will have not seen me since Christmas, the whole bandster-bride things is complicated. How the heck do you buy a dress – the kind of dress that you’re supposed to order 6 months in advance – when you’ve got no idea what size you’ll be on the big day?? I’ve basically decided that I have two options…

1 – make the best guesstimate I can about what size I’ll be in 7 months and order the dress soon, or

2 – wait until the very last minute and hope that I’ll be able to buy off-the-rack!

Neither of these are great options. Alterations can go a long way, but how much would it suck if I invested in a dress that we couldn’t get to fit come October? But waiting to the last minute is scary – I’ll surely still be in the plus-size range in 7 months, and plus-size sample dresses are hard to come by. Even off-the-rack stores like David’s Bridal have a pretty crappy selection of plus sizes in-store.

Right now, I’m leaning toward option 1, but I’m only looking at used or inexpensive dresses, so that if it doesn’t fit, I can sell it on eBay and not be out too much cash. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d LOVE some advice!!!

[BetsyB 9]

Go to a REALLY good bridal shop--the kind where the ladies working there have been there since...well, since your mother got married.

They will be able to give you excellent guidance about sizing. They will also know which styles of dresses are most forgiving in terms of alteration--some have LOTS of leeway, and others do not.

[Marine mom 3]

Go to a REALLY good bridal shop--the kind where the ladies working there have been there since...well, since your mother got married.

They will be able to give you excellent guidance about sizing. They will also know which styles of dresses are most forgiving in terms of alteration--some have LOTS of leeway, and others do not.

Perfect advice.

[TCarroll 1]

I keep feeling a need to clarify to people that my surgery was scheduled before I got engaged! I never want anyone to think that I got my band because of the wedding, as that seems like a really psycho-bride thing to do. :mad2:

Anyhoo, as things turned out, I’m two weeks post-surgery and my wedding is in 7 months. While I totally admit that I’m excited to look good on my wedding day and to surprise those who will have not seen me since Christmas, the whole bandster-bride things is complicated. How the heck do you buy a dress – the kind of dress that you’re supposed to order 6 months in advance – when you’ve got no idea what size you’ll be on the big day?? I’ve basically decided that I have two options…

1 – make the best guesstimate I can about what size I’ll be in 7 months and order the dress soon, or

2 – wait until the very last minute and hope that I’ll be able to buy off-the-rack!

Neither of these are great options. Alterations can go a long way, but how much would it suck if I invested in a dress that we couldn’t get to fit come October? But waiting to the last minute is scary – I’ll surely still be in the plus-size range in 7 months, and plus-size sample dresses are hard to come by. Even off-the-rack stores like David’s Bridal have a pretty crappy selection of plus sizes in-store.

Right now, I’m leaning toward option 1, but I’m only looking at used or inexpensive dresses, so that if it doesn’t fit, I can sell it on eBay and not be out too much cash. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d LOVE some advice!!!

Oh do I know where you are coming from!!!! I am getting married on May 15th... I had surgery on August 25th.... I was putting off going to get my dress as long as possible and then every dress store I called said I HAD to get in ASAP.. so I went on my mission in Novemeber... by then I was down a little over 45 lbs.... and I was feeling alot better about myself... that was until I went to try on dresses!!!!:eek:

I was very honest with the lady(who was the shop owner) about how I had surgery and it was a definite that I would loose more weight before the wedding.... and she was pulling dresses that once I lost weight probably would have been the best fit for my figure.... and would have looked great-- but when the dresses are 4 -5 sizes too small and pinned on you -- yoiu just CANT say- yep thats the one!! so I went for a more A-line dress which would be easier to alter if need be.... finally I found the one.. and at the time it was a bridal dress size 16-- and was too small....

Well it came time to order the dress... and both the lady and my mom INSISTED that I order teh 16 dress-- and that it could be taken up -- UP TO 3 sizes without effecting the look of the dress.... I really thought we should go a 14 so 3 sizes from that would be a 10.... nope they thru a fit and had me doubting myself... so I ordered the 16...

So now I am a little upset.... my dress hasnt come in yet-- it comes in March 26th... a size 16... and from there I still have pretty much 2 months till the wedding and am currently down 81 lbs...... recently I went to a bridal shop with my mom and future mother in law- to look for their dress-- and decided to try and easy my mind and see what size I wedding dresses fit me... hmmmmm.. in a size 10 wedding dress... with 3 months to go till my wedding and still losing... I have no idea if they can alter a wedding dress that much without completely losing the look of the dress...

I am very mad at both the lady and my mom for making me order the 16 when I knew it was better to order a smaller size so I would be within the 3 size alteration. Not only that-- to my surprise-- I did try on the dresses that the lady thought would be best for my figure and at the time I looked like a blimp in .... well, she was right-- that style looked amazing once the weight came off... not that I dont like my dress.. it is beautiful-- but if I would have waited and bought off the rack--- I could have had my choice at so many different styles-- not just the one that looked good.

So as of right now--- I guess I have to wait till the dress comes in-- try it on for the alterations lady and see what she says... the one thing they did tell me-- is that for me they were going by my bust size- bc if those were still big-- then yoiu have to order it to fit that area and the rest can be altered to fit around it... also-- I made the decision to do have them make the top part a corset--- they said that this would help alot in the size change part too... I paid extra for that-- lets hope that pays off!

I was always one of those people that thought it was stupid for a bride to have 2 dresses.... and do a change... well I have my big fancy dress- but now that I can fit into the slim -- sleeker style dress too-- I am thinking about getting this one that is only 300.00 that is like that and changing during the reception - if I think that my other dress is just not the right dress anymore... but I have to use it-- once all said and done withthe major alterations - the dress will probably be over 1500.00....

SO, it is a tough call.... while I felt a little relieved that I found my dress and that was over-- now I am wishing that I am a size I could have bought off the rack and had more choices-- so I should have waited....

If you need to talk -- please feel free to contact me trish_talbot@yahoo.com ... I will be more than happy to help.

Here are pics of my dress

wedding gown front.bmp

[mrslamica 3]

It's so refreshing to find out that there are other "bandster brides" on here. I will be having my surgery on March 12th and my wedding date is set for Jan 1st 2010.

Note- I was NOT engaged when I made the decision to get banded and began my prelim test and meetings, however I am currently engaged and haven't started loosing weight.

I am VERY concerned about the dress process. I have NO idea WHAT my body is going to look like and the experts say to allow atleast 1 month for purchasing and 3 months for alterations...so I'm in the same boat with you both!!!

I'm not going to begin my shopping until I am atleast down 50 lbs...it would be useless. My goal is to not purchase a plus-size gown...because the choices suck...REALLY bad!

My advice would be to go with YOUR gut. Nobody else knows at what rate your body looses weight and I feel that you could make that guesstimation best. I would definately aim for a larger size to be taken in vs. shooting for a smaller size and it being too small...but I do think in your case- TCarroll- you should've insisted on a smaller (14) dress size bc your weightloss was so rapid and CONGRATULATIONS on that!

I think these fears and struggles are so unique to our situation because unlike the "oblivious bride" who thinks she'll loose weight before her wedding...we actually will be completely different bodies when we walk down the aisle than when we purchased our dresses for the Big Day.

To answer your question...Option 1 sounds better...it is always better to be safe than sorry, and I would rather have the stress of taking in a dress that I already have than have to compromise and purchase a dress that I do not LOVE or one that someone else has tried on and worn :eek:

[onyah 0]

Yay I am not alone!!

I’ve been to a few salons already, but I have an appointment next weekend at one that I understand is really good (it better be – I’m driving 90 minutes to get there)! I totally get that that will make a huge difference; the ladies at David’s Bridal were less-than-helpful! They just wanted to make a sale that day, and didn’t really care to hear my story.

When I lose weight, I lose it in my stomach first, then my chest, and my booty hangs in there until the bitter end. So I’m thinking an A-line dress with a corset back would be the most forgiving – the fuller the skirt, the better.

I also found a dress that I LOVE by a designer named Sarah Houston. She is best-known for her maternity dresses, and makes all of her gowns with larger-than-usual seam allowances. If that dress ends up being THE dress, hopefully that’ll help.

TCarroll, how long are you going to wait before you start having your size 16 dress altered? Will you start as soon as you get it? Or will you wait until closer to your wedding date? I’m sure there are alterations people who can work quickly (at an added cost, of course), but you never know how many times you’re going to have to come back!

Thanks so much!