Morons getting on my nerves!

[DizzyLizzy 21]

I was banded 12.22.09. I told my boss because my surgeon is 3 hours away, so there no taking an extended lunch for appointment – I wanted her to be aware of why I was taking so much time off.

Well, the time comes to plan the holiday party for our group, which just so happened to be scheduled for while I was on my liquid pre-op diet during office hours. So, in one of our meetings, which only 5 of us were in the meeting, they were discussing where/what to eat and look at me, so of course I’m like, “I really don’t care”. I go ahead and spill it about the surgery because I know questions would be asked as to why I wasn’t eating at the party, or why I didn’t come.

So, I’ve only told 4 people here about it..who all knows by now because I know at least two like to gossip. Well really 3 if I count my boss because when I was pregnant with my son, I only told my boss at the time, which is now her boss, and he told her (just to let his reports know that they’d have to make arrangements for my maternity leave..even though I wasn’t due for another 7 months!) but she comes up to me and says, “Tom told me you were pregnant, congratulations, and I hope you don’t mind me telling a few others because I knew you wouldn’t since you’re so quiet!” Umm, ok, I had only been there about 6 months anyway so it’s not like I had gotten really chummy with anyone there yet, but anyhoo, that was 6 years ago…now to my current issue…

So, the people that I told about the surgery here, well sit in cubicles in the same area. And the older lady’s daughter had gastric bypass several years back so she thinks she is Jesus when it comes to knowing about weight loss surgery. Anyhoo, I brought in some home made beef stew for lunch yesterday and ate at my desk, and one of them says “ooh, who got that good smelling food? I know it can’t be Liz!” What, because I had lap band all I can eat is stinking dog food? So I say, “yeah, I CAN eat regular food.” And she says, “Well, I though all you could have is Protein stuff.” DUH, beef has protein, but I still have to eat fruits, veggies, and other stuff too!

Then today, one of the others, while another person who I didn’t tell was standing there asks “Hey, can you have jelly Beans? ” I said, “Yeah, I can HAVE anything I want, but I don’t want any, thanks. “ So of course the other girl who I didn’t tell is looking funny, so I’m sure if the other didn’t tell already, she did today.

And the other day, one had a donut or something and she tried to cover it up, like I was just some starved monster and was going to snatch it from her.

And when we all went out for lunch the other day, they were like, so what are you gonna eat, can you have this, can you have that? They seem to think that I’m just supposed to drink Protein Shakes all day long and starve. It’s just getting on my nerves and I am now wishing I didn’t tell anyone outside of family. I almost just want to get another job where nobody knows so I don’t have to hear stuff like this from these idiots.

Just had to vent! I hate stupid people. :smile2:

[sdpressl 1]

Doesn't it feel good to vent? Print your vent and hang it up on your wall. . . . .maybe they will figure it out.

Good luck.

[BetsyB 9]

And the other day, one had a donut or something and she tried to cover it up, like I was just some starved monster and was going to snatch it from her.

Or maybe, she was trying to spare you discomfort. Maybe she thought, "Oh, it's not nice of me to eat this in front of her; she can't have one." That doesn't sound like a horrible thing to me.

I understand your frustration, but you chose to tell people, knowing that the news would spread. Of COURSE people are going to wonder what you can eat! It's human nature to be curious.

They're not being malicious. And they're not apt to maintain a high level of interest in your eating long-term. They'll move on to the next topic after a while.

Let it go. It's not worth your angst.

[Chele6378 0]

I feel your pain!!! I have the same kind of BS at work. It was bad for awhile around here too but it got easier as I told people to back off

I say things like "I'm not on a "diet"...I just eat A LOT less than you and I need to make better choices."

[ElfiePoo 109]

I'm with Betsy. When I worked in offices, if someone was on a diet, this same type of behavior went on and it was mostly because people felt bad about eating stuff the other person couldn't have.

I'd take the time to educate them since they already know you have the band. Can't hurt.

.

[Marine mom 3]

Or maybe, she was trying to spare you discomfort. Maybe she thought, "Oh, it's not nice of me to eat this in front of her; she can't have one." That doesn't sound like a horrible thing to me.

I understand your frustration, but you chose to tell people, knowing that the news would spread. Of COURSE people are going to wonder what you can eat! It's human nature to be curious.

They're not being malicious. And they're not apt to maintain a high level of interest in your eating long-term. They'll move on to the next topic after a while.

Let it go. It's not worth your angst.

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It doesn't sound as though people want anything but the best for you. If they were acting the opposite, there would probably be people not happy, either, calling them unsupportive. I hope you are able to find some peace in this.

[shadst8 8]

Having experienced where my boss announced the surgery during a faculty meeting that I did not attend, I feel your pain of having to deal with different responses to the news...people do not understand it is a personal journey. However, you cannot change who knows, just how you deal with it. So, I try to use moments to educate people and when I don't want to talk about it--I don't.

[DizzyLizzy 21]

I don't really care if people know or not. Even if I never told anyone and someone asked what I was doing to lose weight, I would have been honest and told them I had surgery. But, what I don't appreciate is 1. them telling others if they have when I told them that I have only told family and I was only telling them because of the timing of the holiday party and I knew they would ask anyway, and 2. them acting like I'm some freak who can not be anywhere near food because I can't control myself and can no longer eat real good food! I've explained the process to them, how it works, mentioned to them several times that I can eat real food, just not as much, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. Especially the one who's daughter had gastric bypass, she had a lot of complications and apparently can't eat anything, so she thinks I'm the same way.

There is always someone in the office on a diet and it was known they were on a diet and I have never seen any of them behave towards the people who are dieting the way they are behaving with me. That's what pisses me off the most. It's like, oh she had to go to the extreme of having surgery so we must be very delicate with her. NO! Treat me like a regular person!

I don't have this problem with my family or friends, just these morons at work!

[Jachut 487]

I''m pretty sure the world is being populated by idiots......

I think there's even a scientific theory that supports it.

[LeighaMason 19]

Oh no, Australia too? I thought one day I was going to escape the idiots here by going there. Dang.

Liz, I am with you. Unfortunately, even though there are laws against your boss telling your personal health information to your coworkers they are almost impossible to use. I hope your job situation gets better, maybe someone will get pregnant unexpectedly and everyone can move on to discussing that instead.

[soocalchic 1,087]

I don't really care if people know or not. Even if I never told anyone and someone asked what I was doing to lose weight, I would have been honest and told them I had surgery. But, what I don't appreciate is 1. them telling others if they have when I told them that I have only told family and I was only telling them because of the timing of the holiday party and I knew they would ask anyway, and 2. them acting like I'm some freak who can not be anywhere near food because I can't control myself and can no longer eat real good food! I've explained the process to them, how it works, mentioned to them several times that I can eat real food, just not as much, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. Especially the one who's daughter had gastric bypass, she had a lot of complications and apparently can't eat anything, so she thinks I'm the same way.

There is always someone in the office on a diet and it was known they were on a diet and I have never seen any of them behave towards the people who are dieting the way they are behaving with me. That's what pisses me off the most. It's like, oh she had to go to the extreme of having surgery so we must be very delicate with her. NO! Treat me like a regular person!

I don't have this problem with my family or friends, just these morons at work!

Wow hun sounds like you are making it harder on yourself. Ignore those folks who aggravate you lol..