Why do I seek approval...from my scale?

[LeighaMason 19]

OK I am not an approval seeker, I have never been one who is worried what others think. So why do I care what the scale says? I usually lose a pound every 4 days, so today, the 4th day I get on the scale and it is 158.0. Same as 4 days ago, if it said 157.9 then in my mind I lost a pound, and I was successful. But instead I am sorely disappointed over .1 of a pound. I stand on it 4 different ways trying to get it to say 157.9. How crazy is that? What the hell? Why do I care what this piece of metal and glass thinks? I bought 2 new pair of size 10 jeans yesterday, I have been working out and I feel so much better, do these things make me happy? Yes, but then I step on the scale and that overrides the size successes? WHAT? I am beginning to question my sanity! Anybody know what this scale obsession is about? (Or is it just me?!?):smile2:

[illuminationlady 7]

I do the same exact thing....so I can't help ya there girl...

[make33 2]

Every day of my life I get on the scale!! AND it generally gauges how I feel and what I eat for the rest of the day until the next morning when I get on again :smile2:

Even when it's a time when I tell myself "You don't have to get on the scale tomorrow" I still do! My husband always says a day or two doesn't make a difference in your weight, but the obsession is still there. Aaarrrggghhh!

By the way, along my journey I did have a time period of three weeks when I didn't lose ANYTHING (yes, my scale is digital too) but thank goodness for this forum and all the support we give each other.

Eventually I lost again--you are doing all the right things, working out and eating right, so don't worry--it WILL begin to go down again...

[Mimilou2004 13]

No, you are not alone!!!! If I weigh myself and it hasn't gone down I am really upset, like you. It is close to an obsession. I comfort myself with the thought that I can skip a weigh in here and there!!!!

Mimi

[BetsyB 9]

It's not just you. I am a scale approval-seeker, too. And I do it every.single.day.of.my.life.

I can't break the habit of daily weighing--and am not sure I want to, because avoiding the scale in the past has never done me favors. (What I don't know DOES hurt me; I gain!)

So now, I'm trying very, very hard to reframe the "message" the stupid machine tells me. Instead of it being a success/failure thing (as it has been my whole life), I'm doing my best to note patterns so that I can determine correlations between weight and factors other than my success/failure in terms of eating.

For example, if I weigh in the day after weight training, I am guaranteed I will see no loss (may even see a gain, depending on how hard I worked). In the past, this would throw me into quite a tailspin. While I still don't like it, I now am able to tell myself (and believe!) that my muscles are holding Fluid from a GOOD workout--and that this is a positive thing. I remind myself that exercise boosts my metabolism, which ultimately will improve my loss. And I tell myself that my body is an AMAZING machine, and that I can trust it to restore homeostasis (and lose the fluid) as quickly as it can.

I guess what I'm saying is that I now tell myself the same encouraging things I have always told others. Treating myself as being as worthy of understanding and empathy (and a good, solid scientific explanation) as the next guy has allowed me to be more compassionate with myself, and more accepting of what often is a quite arbitrary number the scale spits out. (I mean, really---think about the things that can affect weight: taking an OTC pain reliever--or many other meds--can cause a temporary increase; sodium can bump it up; a full bladder or not-recently-evacuated bowel can increase weight; hormone fluctuations can cause Fluid retention; the list goes on and on and on. It's both unfair and unkind to berate or be disappointed in ourselves for things that really are not entirely within our control.)

I don't always like what the scale tells me. But I try to see the bigger picture. There is an ongoing downward trend that WILL continue until I meet my goal. The day-to-day fluctuations become less significant.

(This approach, btw, does not work during PMS. Nothing works during PMS LOL)

So, Leigha---do for yourself what you do for others. You are always ready with good answers. You are always empathetic. You are willing to be blunt, and if something needs to change, you acknowledge it. But you are kind. Be kind to yourself.

[BetsyB 9]

Every day of my life I get on the scale!! AND it generally gauges how I feel and what I eat for the rest of the day until the next morning when I get on again :smile2:

Even when it's a time when I tell myself "You don't have to get on the scale tomorrow" I still do! My husband always says a day or two doesn't make a difference in your weight, but the obsession is still there. Aaarrrggghhh!

By the way, along my journey I did have a time period of three weeks when I didn't lose ANYTHING (yes, my scale is digital too) but thank goodness for this forum and all the support we give each other.

Eventually I lost again--you are doing all the right things, working out and eating right, so don't worry--it WILL begin to go down again...

Yowza! Look how close you are to goal!!

[Bree99 1]

I weigh every morning and its like a little reward for yesterday's work. Of course some days (for days at a time) it doesn't budge and I'm disappointed--no reward. But its coming I know. You are buying size 10s !!! I'll bet there was a time you had given up on that dream and now here you are! Don't stress, you are doing wonderfully!

[LapBandBobbi 8]

I'm right there with you! I get on the scales every morning and the last 2 weeks I've been really disappointed. This morning however, it dropped 1.5 lbs :smile2: I am leaving on vacation for 5 days and won't have access to a scale. So, I hope when I return I see a loss.

[mandyfsc 0]

I think we all do it! I'm obsessed with my scale. I don't care how far it goes down, just as long as it goes in that direction! I not only weigh myself daily but I weigh myself every time I go in the restroom!

I've decided I need to put my scale in my car so that the obsession will stop. Most days I am encouraged. But on the days it goes up, I can focus on nothing else!

[ElfiePoo 109]

I only get on the scale on Mondays, but I know what you mean. There's this sense of anticipation/dread as I step onto the scale. Anticipation that I'll be down another (at least) 1 lb...and dread that I won't have lost anything.

I've lost 18+ pounds over the last 3 weeks and the sense of dread is building because I just know I'm due to step on that scale and it'll show 'nada...zip...zero...zilch' lost because you just can't keep up that kind of loss for long.

I wonder if we every really get over that.

.

[LeighaMason 19]

I've decided I need to put my scale in my car so that the obsession will stop. Most days I am encouraged. But on the days it goes up, I can focus on nothing else!

I just had a mental picture of myself stopped at a redlight, weighing myself in the street. OK maybe not the car....:eek:

[LeighaMason 19]

I've lost 18+ pounds over the last 3 weeks and the sense of dread is building because I just know I'm due to step on that scale and it'll show 'nada...zip...zero...zilch' lost because you just can't keep up that kind of loss for long.

I wonder if we every really get over that.

.

I know that I have been whining about the scales not moving but I have been having some disbelief at my weight (or non acceptance of my new weight). When I am thinking to myself about weight, my mind will still use 185 (my standard answer, if anyone asked) as my current weight. If anyone asks now, that still pops out first. Habit or something else?:eek:

[sawyer77 1]

I do the same thing -- only look at the whole number, and that counts for me. I could have been 179.9 yesterday and 179.1 today (which is almost a pound lost!) but to me, I am still at 179.

I tell myself only to check in twice a week. Wednesday (my surgery day) and Saturday (my Biggest Loser group on Facebook WI-day). But I still sneak a WI often.

And I do the same thing -- step on the scale about 4 times to make sure it's correct. Always before meals, after going to the bathroom and without clothes on.

We're all nuts! Heh. :-)

[1unknownperson 0]

Leigha, YOU are the only one who does this... Bwahahahaha... Okay... "Hi, my names is jennifer and I am a scale Whore"..... It was stalled for about three weeks until this last fill and It's already moving in less than a week... Here's my mini goal for the next 7 days...

I want the scale to weight exactly the same as last week, only this time, fully dressed with my Sketchers shoes and coat on, (which weighs about 4 pounds total for everything)... hehe... Then I will be happy becasue that will mean no more bouncing up into the 190's when I have something different on or slightly heavy like these damn 1.5 pounds each shoes... I want to scale to be in the 180s or less no matter what I am wearing or doing... NO MORE 190s for anything..... Okay.... SO thats my mini goal.... And I will be getting on and off the scale several times a day/night with various things on and off testing it out.....

[BetsyB 9]

I just had a mental picture of myself stopped at a redlight, weighing myself in the street. OK maybe not the car....:cursing:

Yep, that'd be me, too. I just have had to accept that I will weigh myself daily. And make it a goal to reframe the message sent by the machine--and (more importantly) the messages I then tell myself.

I went to the doctor (not bariatric) yesterday. His scale (you know, the same scale that's been in the office hallway since his dad opened the office 100 years ago; the one that gets bashed into every time someone rounds the corner---and probably hasn't been zeroed or calibrated since 1978? Yeah, that scale...) weighed me THIRTEEN POUNDS heavier than my scale.

Now, I knew, intellectually, that my clothes weighed 3 pounds. (How did I know this? Because I weighed myself, at home, with and without them. I told you, I am insane.) I knew, too, that my scale --which jibes pretty exactly with my bariatric surgeon's---was more accurate than his. That I really did NOT weigh 13 pounds more than I had an hour and a half ago.

But I still had to say, out LOUD, "It's just a number. It's just a number..." Because it could have thrown me into a real tailspin.

It worked. It actually worked! I was able to tell myself that next year, when I go back to the gyne (at goal, or close to it), his scale would STILL tell me things I didn't want to hear. But that it doesn't matter. It's just a number--and it's not the truth.

Losing weight is not easy. But IMO, it's way easier than changing the messages we tell ourselves. Learning to stop ourselves short when we are "speaking" to ourselves in ways we would never treat others is a pretty important part of the journey, I think. I'm not sure how well I'll do with this long-term, but it IS now a priority, because I'm finding that it makes a big, big difference.