I know it's not easy but ...

[serenity55 15]

In the few blogs I have read, in the success stories I've heard, and the bandsters I talk to, I very seldom hear from those who have been successful about the struggles to get where they are.

I understand about keeping it positive, but we all know that this journey can be a very hard one. Because I still have such a long way to go, I guess what I'm asking is if there are people for whom the road to success was filled with emotions, and if so, what were they? Maybe it's just me, but I feel like so many success stories make it sound like it's a breeze.

I'm at a plateau, have just had another cc put in my band, and have no regrets about getting it. I know success can be achieved with lots of hard work, and I'm quite willing to keep doing that, but I would like to know that it wasn't always a breeze, and why.

Debbie.

[Jachut 487]

Quite honestly, some of us are very very lucky. For me, it really WAS a breeze. I was a fairly healthy eater before banding, and had more of a problem with quantity, not with the quality of what I was eating.

I also retained some fitness and have a general passion for sports and fitness, so I have never struggled with the exercise of the equation. I found a real love of working my body hard to keep it fit, I honestly enjoy it.

So really, when you took the quantity issue out of the picture, as a band forces you to do, for me, the weight loss was then automatic. Lucky lucky lucky.

BUT - that being said, I'm not one to make things hard on myself. Did I plateau out for weeks/months? You bet I did. But did I worry about it? Not at all. I honestly expected it, and saw it as part of the process and didnt worry over what I could change. I just knew that if I was lighter three years down the track than I was when I started, my banding was a success. I had a goal yes, but I also had a "lets just see where this takes me" attitude and I certainly didnt waste my time worrying about whether I was losing 2lb a week or 1 or 4. Some weeks I lost 4, some I lost nothing, didnt bother me at all.

for someone else, they might lose just as much weight as I did in the end, but worry over every minor detail and consider it a challenge. Some people are just like that. Some people hate exercise and consider it a chore. I dont. I did it willingly and consistently. I'd say my feeling that it was a breeze was as much due to my attitude (which is how I am with everything really) as to the actual weight loss.

I've got a good example of this - I'm a graduate teacher, an old one, yes, lol, but I've just started my first teaching position, teaching grade six. At my school, there's another graduate too. I'm finding challenges with behaviour management, I just dont seem to have the authority or command the respect yet to have a whole grade workign quietly and not testing the boundaries. But the way I see it, we're getting through the work, I havent had any REALLY bad behaviour or real disrespect issues, and I believe it'll come with time. So I come home and laugh a bit with husband about what vexing creatures 11 year old boys are. The other grad teacher is a complete mess, its really wearing her down, she's stressed out and worried about it and getting herself in a state. She's only young, 22, so there's that to consider, but I really think your internal resilience is very important in how you experience life's challenges, and that for many people facing big weight loss journeys a little reflection on how your strengths are in that area can be very valuable.

Edited February 16, 2010 by Jachut

[bandpal 7]

I am significantly less mature than Jacqui (Jachut) even though I am older than her – in fact, I probably have more in common with those vexing 11 year old boys than their wonderful teacher . Still, if I go looking for the emotion-filled part of my road, I find it squarely in the pre-band part of the map. Face it – life (for me) after the band is much better, much less strewn with emotional upheaval, than it was before.

That's not to say it was always easy. Here are some problems I have encountered along the way:

• food took up a lot of my life: thinking about eating, shopping, preparing food, going out to eat, and, of course, eating. After the band, there were times I felt like a marquee without a main attraction – empty and undefined.
  
• Such a drastic physical change (see my pictures in my Bandster Profile – note: I weigh 40 lbs less less now than I did in my "after" shot) has significant emotional consequences. I have had to find myself again. In addition to being much smaller than I thought I was, I think I am also quieter, more composed, less emotionally needy, somewhat less "jolly"… this is an ongoing process, and no, it hasn't always been easy.
  
• Most significantly, food masked a lot of underlying emotions within me. I'm pretty sure that therapy both before and after banding ensured the success of this venture. Of course, it is still possible to act out with food now – but over time I do it a whole lot less than I did before, and it's nearly nowhere as gratifying as it once was.
  
• I am still trying to find the optimal portions, times, and foods for me to eat. I slime and pb too much for me, my family, my friends and anyone who's lucky enough to share a table with me. You want frustrating? Okay, that's frustrating.
  

Good luck, Debbie – there ain't no plateau without a good, steep drop on the other side. Get ready to give a good happy shout-out to us all on the way down…

Edited February 16, 2010 by bandpal

[Laptastic 0]

I felt like a marquee without a main attraction – empty and undefined.

there ain't no plateau without a good, steep drop on the other side. Get ready to give a good happy shout-out to us all on the way down…

Such great imagery! I think I love you.

My struggle has been coming to terms with how differently people treat me. My sisters are catty and make remarks like, "Well I could lose weight too if I had surgery." even though they know I go to the gym almost every day and am working my a** off...literally. People at work are nicer to me. I don't know if it's because I'm more approachable as a smaller person, or if MY attitude has become more positive, making them more comfortable.

Once all the weight is gone, I wonder where my focus will be. I'll have to figure that out along the way, but I'm excited to get there. Good luck to you.

[bandpal 7]

First, thank you, Laptastic :biggrin:.

Second: Ah yes, people. Reminds me of my favorite line from Peanuts: "I love humanity - it's just people I can't stand." I have been lucky here. Wife has been loving and supportive, kids stopped making fat Dad jokes a long time ago, dog is still trying to make sense of it all, and everything else is window dressing. Co-workers: juck 'em if they can't take a foke.

Your sisters' cattiness made me sad. I hate that comment. I thought of three zingers for you, in response to "Well I could lose weight too if I had surgery.":

:tongue:"So what's stopping you? Climb up on the table and I'll make the incision right now!"

:tongue:"Yeah, too bad there's no knife sharp enough to cut through your thick, cold, insensitive skin."

:tongue:"Looks like they tried, but they forgot to close the opening beneath your nose that those funny sounds keep coming out of."

It's sad about being treated nicer, isn't it? Not for nothing is there all that talk about discrimination and prejudice against fat or obese people. I do hope, though, that I too am easier to be with and work with than I was before.

Edited February 16, 2010 by bandpal

[serenity55 15]

Thank you all for your replies. I wish I could remember the exact words of your posts because you've all given me much to think about.

It's true that I'm happier after banding than I was before. I do get frustrated, and I'm no over achiever, so I don't do things "perfectly". But one day at a time there are differences in my life that I know wouldn't be possible without this little thing inside me.

The rewards are amazing. The fact that I fit comfortably in the back seat of a cab with two other people was a big deal for me.

Bandpal, I can't wait to give that shout out on that steep slide down the other side of this plateau! Laptastic, sounds like a bit of jealousy on the part of your sisters. I too am sorry you've had to deal with that. !

Jack, you always say things that encourage me. Jatchut maybe I'll be like you when I grow up! LOL!!

Again, thank you all, very much!

Debbie.

Edited February 17, 2010 by serenity55

[TSB 1]

The only time I have struggled with emotions was for the two weeks immediately post-op. I was uncharcteristically emotional ( crying over little things that would not normally phase me). I was losing weight rapidly in those two weeks, plus my body was recuperating from surgery and anesthesia. One of the PA's told me something about hormones in fat cells and that when you are losing weight rapidly these hormones get released. Dont' remember the exact details of how it was explained to me. But no emotional issue since that time.

I think having a realistic perspective about post-band weight loss helps not to get bogged down or too obsessive about slower weight loss and/or plateaus. I try to focus on NSV(s) and the fact that this is going to be a long-term process when things aren't moving as quickly as I would like. Best of luck to you!

[CASSIEME1 1]

Well guys i still get very emotion, angry with self fro not progressing the way i feel i should. Too me this is a very hard and long journey.still struggling.

[serenity55 15]

I think it's safe to say that many bandsters used food, whether it was to numb out, because we were bored, because it was four o'clock and the sun was shining! LOL! When that is taken away, many of us feel deprived, because it means finding a substitute for our best friend. It can also mean, as in my case, asking if, in fact, there is anything to replace food. I'm learning that there are indeed other things, and each day I try to remind myself of them. But it is something I must do quite often. Some days are easier than others.

Debbie

[tgp157 0]

I have finally decided to seriously look into getting banded & have scheduled an appointment for the consultation for next Monday 3/1/10. I'm looking forward to it. However, I realize that, once the surgery is done, I will probably really miss my best friend which isn't the food as much as it is studying weight loss. That is pretty much all I do--look for the 'holy grail' in diets or exercise. I know I've got to prepare for the boredom that will come. I'm planning on reading more, maybe keep my house cleaner & more organized & exercising, of course. I'm more than willing to make any change necessary. Any advice from all you here with experience would very much appreciated.:smile2:

Thanks for all your inspiration.

Pam

[Humming Bird 275]

Great Thread.

For me the weightloss has taken very little effort. The band has been that "magic wand" for me. It has been "the easy way" to weightloss.

For the most part I think I am doing well emotionally too.

The thing that comes to mind right now is my self esteem about the way I look. I felt so bad about looking obese. Now that I have lost over 70 lbs., my low self esteem about looks has shifted to my skin and hair. I lost so much hair! Even when I was morbidly obese I would get compliments on my hair. Now every day is a bad hair day. My skin has more wrinkles and I am so winter pale! I feel so bad that I can not bring myself to post pics.

We all have issues.

Edited February 25, 2010 by Humming Bird

[maryrose 2]

Serenity, this is a great thread!

I see we are the same age. Let me just say that for me, I cannot say it was a breeze at all.

I think the hardest thing to strugge with for me was trying to compare myself with others. I would get so jealous reading about others losing tons of weight and being able to get out there and exercise for hours at a time.

Being 55+ I have to say I have different challenges than someone in their 20's and 30's and once I came to grip with this I felt a lot better about my progress being a bit slower.

I have been through knee surgery, have a herniated disc in my neck and supervise a transciption company of 22 women.

I have had some major pb'ing days from overeating because of my stressful job and have had a few visits with the psychologist to help me out with these things.

BUT - if I really pay attention and let my band to its job and follow the rules, it's a wonderful journey and I love my band!

I started walking a little at a time, now below to a gym and go almost every day!

Every day is different and we have to be happy with OUR own personal goals and plateaus.

Going from a size 3X top and 20 wide pants to an x-large top and size 14/16 pants is terrific for me! I am happy with that right now.

I still have more to lose, but it's all good!

[serenity55 15]

Maryrose, thank you so much for your post. I need to remember to keep the focus on myself. It really is easy to compare myself to others. I'll never work out 6 days a week, though I have been known to walk (we have a track at work and I have a treadmill at home) at least five. In my early post op days, right after surgery, I walked twice a day.

But I have had some major nonscale victories which, again, I need to remember.

Your post is a great comfort to me. Guess it helps being the same age! :wink2:

Hummingbird, I envy you, and thank you for posting. You are so right when you say we all have our issues, and I appreciate the fact that we can all talk about them openly and honestly here.

Debbie

[Bea1128 1]

I'm really glad to come across this thread as I'm struggling at the moment too. Like posters before me, I too have had some issues with people commenting that I've taken the "easy way out". Emotionally speaking it's difficult for me when some of my "old" friends constantly talk about my weight loss. At some point I just want to be me not the girl who has lost a lot of weight. It gets embarrassing sometimes. And like some of you, food was my best buddy, and for a while I felt really lost. I had to find other things to fill my time. Over time it has gotten easier to do that, but it's still a day to day process for me.

It's not easy. I'm almost 2 years out and still not at my goal. I get within 10-12 pounds and can't quite get there. It's frustrating. The last 6 weeks have been the worst as life has happened in a big way. For the first time in a long while I turned to emotional eating. I went to slider foods, plain and simple. I've gained about 10 pounds. While it's a lot less than I would have gained pre-band, it's still upsets me that I let that happen. The good news is that I want to put a stop to it right now, immediately, and am taking actions to do that. I have a foot injury that is healing so I'm not able to exercise like I once did, but there is a lot I can do with my diet to lose the pounds. I've lost my motivation, but hope to find it again.

I try to keep reminding myself than everyone is different and that I am so much better off now that pre-band. I'm healthier and happier than before, I just need to get back on the "wagon" so to speak. I'm going back to the beginning as far as "bandster rules" are concerned. It's a life long journey and there will be bumps in the road.

And Bandpal, you crack me up. Thanks for the chuckle!

[Cingulus 0]

Bea1128,

I have heard this type of issue about the band being a way to take the easy way out very often. I don't think it is, but who cares if it is? Why not take advantage of a good tool. I would not build a house with just a hand saw if I could use power tools. It is your body, do what you want and let others think what they will.