Feelings.....

[Megg40 0]

Hi all...

I am in pre band. I have been feeling so excited and was apprehensive, but the more I have researched, the less anxious I have felt. Tomorrow, I meet with my surgeon for the first time. Today, my mood has been low. My head is really talking to me and it's not my friend today. I have been having thoughts like "I am a failure...I have to take such drastic measures to lose weight. " " I'm such a loser"...."this won't work for me either".....

I know these thoughts are not rational, and they're not how I truely feel. But my head is really attacking me today....

Anybody else have this....??? What did you do??

Thanks,

Meg

[JeweI 2]

I had this. When my endo first suggested the band I was angry. My horomones were all screwed up and I need my endo to fix it not some WLS surgeon. Then I felt bad. I also thought I was a loser, waste of space. A huge failure. The people on this site have really been such a great support for me. I had just gotten stuck in this trap that I deserved to be punished and deserved to be fat. I didn't deserve the lapband. How are we any different then those around us. We all screw up but that doesn't mean we deserve to live a miserable life. Maybe I was just making excuses so I didn't have to participate in life. I didn't have to risk anything. I was holding myself back from life and using the excuse that I was too fat and had a bad childhood. Having the surgery was a huge risk because if I lost the weight I would lose my excuse. I made a conscience decision that I am not going to miss out on life anymore. I started back to college and decided I was gonna do whatever it took to get this weight off. Losing the weight so I could be active with my family and not be so tired. So I would gain confidence in making friends. So I wouldn't be afraid to leave the house. So my first interview for a nursing position I couldn't cop out because I was too fat.

One thing people don't realize is how much being fat gets into your head. I call it my fat brain. Everything we do is altered by having these fat thoughts. That will take longer to fix than just our weight. But it is worth fixing.

[Majj 0]

I am seeing the specialist today in a couple of hours and an feeling really scared with all those thoughts and more ..I am hoping after the visit to feel better about what I am contemplaiting doing.....

Good luck with your visit and let us know how you go , I will also come and share my thoughts later after muy visit...

[RavenClaw779 2]

I second everyone's above listed comments. I'm starting the battery of pre-surgery tests tomorrow - ie., no eats from 10 pm tonight on - so I'm trying to keep my mind off being hungry. Even today I found myself thinking how pathetic I am that I can't lose this weight myself and that I'll probably be the one doesn't lose a pound and...but if I risk nothing than I'll just stay as I am and I'll keep making excuses to avoid life. I'd rather participate rather than continue to miss the bus - so to speak.

[Megg40 0]

Thanks to each and every one of you. I feel so supported here and that I'm not absolutely crazy. You are all right about missing out on life, and I know I am right now. I refuse to miss out any more. I am 40, finally got my head right after a horrible past and now its time for my body to become healthy. It's not like I haven't tried on my own to lose weight. I have a million times and it doesn't work for me....so I need a doctors help. There's nothing wrong with that and I'm not a bad person because of it. Sometimes, a doctor can help us with things that we can't help ourselves with. This is one of those times for me. It's better to get a professional, than to keep going at it alone and the problem just gets worse....

I really am appreciative of all your input. If I can ever be there for yall, just let me know. I will post after I see the surgeon tomorrow.....

Take Care All,

Meg

[bigbirney 3]

I had the same feeleings. Many of my friends have suggested that I get something done over the last year, and I always thought I was admitting failure if I did. The more I learn it is just a tool, and whatever we choose to do with it will happen. I still have to lay off the booze and ice cream, and ultimately exercise more.

I think the pre-op period is all part of the test. All of the little hoops you have to go through, as well as time to think about it. I was approved 6 weeks ago, and finally had all my appointments. Now that it is actually happening I already feel like I am still going to be accountable for what happens. I think support of those around you is important in this journey, and I am looking forward

[BetsyB 9]

Yes, I totally empathize with your feelings. I, too, felt like a failure after so many cycles of the lose-and-gain game.

It has helped me to remember that obesity is multifactorial--and that, furthermore, it's not a moral issue. Our weight really is not reflective of our worth--no matter what messages to the contrary we might receive.

Really, seeking a REAL solution to the problem does not signal failure. It's brave. It's also scary--not just because it represents a more drastic approach than, say, Jenny Craig, but also because CHANGE is scary!

But please--be kind to yourself. And try to view caring for yourself in this way as a kindness your body deserves.

[Ruthie1974 34]

I would so love to be in Australia today....

[sclong 0]

When I first thought about having this done, I felt the same as you. But then my doctor said "Obesity is a disease, if you had cancer, you'd get treatment for it, right?" and that made sense to me! I think in our society if you are overweight then people assume you are lazy, but there are so many factors that go into being obese, it's not just how active you are. So, you should stop putting yourself down. A lot of people don't have the courage to take the steps you have taken towards getting surgery done and starting their lives again. It's like a rebirth in a way, and you should be very proud of yourself!

[Megg40 0]

Here's another THANKS to all those who have replied. I do feel the "love" of this board....Each one of you is exactly right. I like the comment about this being a disease...its true. Betsy, I will be very kind to myself from here on out....I had a great day!!

Take Care All,

Meg:thumbup: