Its not always rainbows and butterflies...I NEED HELP!

[givempills 0]

First, some stats.

I'm 32 y/o guy. NY

pre-op wt 315

day of surg 295 (8/27/09)

first fill 11/3 273

second fill 2/5 265

current weight 259

My story.

Sometimes I think I'm kidding myself. Yes, I've lost weight. No, not at the rate i thought I would, but I refuse to feel negatively about my progress.....I lost 56 pounds!

But lately I dont feel so good....

Before my second fill last week, I could eat just about anything....and I was...and staying within the same 5 pounds or so....i went to the doctor and expressed my need for a fill, to provide more restriction, and he agreed...so off i went for my fill.

my new fill is tight! i dont feel its too tight, just tight enough to punish me for poor food choices. 1/2 a soft taco at taco bell had my head in a toilet for 30 min, and so did a slightly over sized sushi roll....(i remeber when they used to bring the big sushi boat over to our table, how excited I would get...those days are gone. i used to eat 4 or 5 tacos at TB......

My fitness level is the best its been in 10 years. While I am not doing any regimented weight lifting, I am addicted to nike plus and my ipod, and am currently running about 15 miles a week....and i feel great doing it. I chop firewood a few hours a week, and lately have been shoveling a lot of snow. (argg)

Last night as we went to sleep, my wife and I had one of our little talks. Although I have her full support, I feel a little weird about the things she said. I know that my lifestyle has def changed...im so much more active then i was.....and i eat so much less. my weight loss thus far has been so enjoyable....and i think, kinda easy. i watch what i eat and try to make the best decisions. I'm not on a diet, i just eat great food. i might have a cookie here and there, but it's never out of control. shes a little critical of the rate at which im losing...and im not happy about her saying that...(yes, i told her so)

My biggest problem is that i dont feel satisfied emotionally. I enjoy the compliments i get all day long (I'm a pharmacist and everyone sees me a lot.) Are you guys out there having a cookie here and there? I feel like I dont deprive myself of anything i really want to eat, because i feel justified given my running regimen, and given the fact that i can only have a small amount of what i choose to eat.

So I need someone to break it down for me phtlisophically. I need to get my wife to support me, without bringing me down...she wants me to lift weights, and i feel like i dont have time to without sacrificing my running....

I'm sorry if I rambled on.....thanks for the help!

-Bill

Sayville, NY

[happy2lose 0]

Hey Bill,

First of all, don't beat yourself up over your progress.....I did the math and you are losing about 2 pounds each week which is right on target with the average for lapband patients.

Ask yourself this question.....could you be doing more to benefit your health and increase your weight loss? I'm willing to bet the answer is yes. Have you talked with a nutritionist? I think it is very important for you to sit down with a nut. and figure out just what you should be eating for optimum weight loss. It can be a difficult juggling act to figure out what calorie range you should be within as well as which foods will give you the most bang for your buck!

You should be exercising in some form every day. I'm not trying to be a downer here but 15 miles of running each week really isn't that much. It averages out to 2 miles per day. I recommend you join a gym, the benefits of working out at the gym are awesome. Building lien muscle will increase your fat loss significantly. Working all your major muscle groups will help with your psyche as well as change your body contour completely.

I aim for at least 30 minutes of cardio and strength training daily. I go to the gym at 6:30 a.m. every morning before work. I find that working out each morning sets the tone for my day and helps me to stay on track with my eating. If I work out in the morning I am less likely to stuff my face with fattening foods. To answer your question, I do not eat Cookies. Not to say you can't have one every so often but in no way should be a part of your regular diet. On the weekends my husband and I enjoy riding our bicycles together. We ride about 40 to 50 miles every weekend. My goal is to burn 2,000 calories over the weekend. Now there are rare times we are not able to do this, but if the sun is shinning, I am on my bike.

I think it may be time for some soul searching on your part....be honest with yourself! I think there is most likely some truth to what your wife said or you wouldn't be feeling down on yourself. Listen to her.....she only wants what is best for your health and your future.

[givempills 0]

thanks so much....

[BetsyB 9]

Yes, you can up your exercise, or eliminate all Cookies from your life.

Is it necessary? I don't know--only you can answer that. I do think getting some resistance training is a good idea; flexibility work is good, too.

But in terms of rate of loss? You're right on target. Your wife's expectations are skewed.

Many people expect all WLS-related loss to be abrupt; that just isn't the case with the band.

You're doing a terrific job. You're making HUGE lifestyle changes---and that approach, IMO, is what is important.

As you incorporate new things into your daily routine, you'll find that you're up for more new challenges. Then you can add weights or whatever.

[mominkansas 2]

heading into the new year with 56 pounds gone is amazing! You are doing great! Think of not gaining at x-mas or Thanksgiving, or even New years Eve!

As for the soft taco, try switching over to a hard one. the soft tortilla shell is very hard to break down( think of how easy it is to ball up white bread), also the sushi if it has white rice in it will be hard as well.

As for the Cookies, I do treat myself. I tend to do it in the form of 100 calorie packs, usually the York or Reeces ones. It seems that way I can measure just how much I am eating instead of popping a whole sleeve of Cookies.< /p>

I have been getting pinto's and cheese at taco bell and it seems to be hitting the spot. Hope this helps!

[MelsPage 1]

Hi Bill,

Okay I am going to offer my 2 cents and please keep in mind that I am not a nutrionist and I have been struggling with getting the weight off too, and at a rate I am happy with (down about 30 pounds since September but I expected more too!)....so with that said I will tell you what my nutritionist said and my opinion!

If you want a cookie, eat a cookie! Lapband is NOT about depriving yourself for the rest of your life. Otherwise we would never be successful. I'm not suggesting you eat the entire package but that doesn't sound physically possible anyway. I think that continuing to strive towards improving your diet and exercise are extremely important, but remember it took us a lifetime to develope bad habits and to get to the point of needing a band. Be patient with yourself and try to wake up everyday with a positive attitude towards this process. It's my opinion that if we are giving it our all and constantly trying to work towards the next step then we are succeeding. It is only when you give up that you have failed. I know that I need to get my butt moving....I KNOW that's what's causing slow weight loss, that coupled with not having any restriction until this past friday. But since I have had my 3rd fill, I have been much more concious about what I eat, trying to get the right # of calories and Protein into such small meals and I have been exercising and in the last week I have lost another 4 pounds! I am excited! But I also know that, this is a journey and I want the weight to stay off so avoiding Cookies for the next 50 years is not realistic, we need to learn to stop after one and make sure that we're making good choices about our diets and about exercising.

I think you are doing a great job! Keep up the good work and just focus on the success. This is worth it! YOU are worth it! :thumbup:

[dragonflylover 0]

Hey Bill,

I'm from LI myself.. so i know all about the shoveling.. ugh! well, we have some similiarities... I had my 2nd fill on 1/27 and for about 4 days i know what you mean about the 1/2 taco thing.. but after the 4th day i felt like i never even had a fill!!! so frustrating and much much slower of a loss than I expected. I think it's great you are exercising... a slice of pizza to me is not harmful if you run 15 miles a day or even every other day. personally, I will still eat pizza, or chocolate every now and then because I refuse to feel like I am on a diet for the rest of my life. I know i will fail if i think that way. For me the purpose of the band was to help cut down on portion size. Granted I most definitely watch what i am eating the majority of the time. I think it's a little unfare for your wife to come down on you so hard.. but then again.. she's probably just trying to motivate you in her own way. I'm sure you have talked to her already.. but I would tell her how that bothers you. you need ALL the support you can get.. but positive support.

Keep up the good work. I think your doing a good job... :thumbup:

[happy2lose 0]

I'm sorry Bill, I don't sugar-coat things.....I'm a straight forward person. I still believe that the reason your wife's words stung so badly is because you know in your heart that she is right. I don't doubt that you are working much harder than you ever have to lose weight but really, are you doing everything you can? I want you to succeed Bill. But you are going to have to push yourself beyond your comfort zone and work your tail off to lose a lot of weight. Running 15 miles per week isn't even enough to maintain let alone lose significantly.

You can do it! You need to find the determination.

[ElfiePoo 109]

Hey there Bill...

If Happy's calculations are correct and you're losing 2 pounds per week, then you're on track. Most doctors and nuts don't want you to lose more quickly than that anyway. My doc allows me to lose as slowly or as quickly as I want with the understanding that if I drop too quickly, it puts me at risk of possibly losing my gallbladder...so I'll take the slower loss.

The question you need to ask yourself is...are *you* happy with that pace? If so, then tell your wife that while you appreciate her input, you are losing at an acceptable pace and this is not a race.

I do not diet and if I want that cookie I eat it. The difference is that now I eat 1 cookie versus 6 or 1 piece of pizza instead of half of a whole pizza. I do not 'exercise' but I do get up off my butt more than I used to because I can. I do the Wii Fit or shovel snow or go snowshoeing across the fields...and some days I don't do anything...and yet I've lost 35 pounds over the last 3 months. I just hit restriction a little more than a week ago...oh wait...guess it's now 2 weeks...and am dropping weight more quickly because I'm no longer able to eat to excess...and that's why I got the band.

My feeling is if I have to 'diet' and give up foods I like and exercise several days a week on top of it just to lose this weight, well you know, I wouldn't have bothered with the band.

.

[givempills 0]

thank you everyone for your input...i do appreciate it....

Ms. California, thanks for telling like it is....i'm so jealous of your california weather!

[delfinajones 1]

I think you need a new wife- a supportive one. You can have have Snacks with a lap band and most of us do- the key is not to overeat and have a slow steady weight loss which you do have.I don't exercise so I am not one to give advice. You are doing great. You just need to find a support group as your wife is not able to give you that help.

[Mickey527 0]

I know how you feel about the support because my son and grandson live with me and my son doesn't support my surgery at all. He says I could have lost the weight on my6 own if I had only tried. He doesn't think about the 33 years he has lived with me when I was on every diet imaginable and angry all the time.

I saw my GYN Dr the other day and she told me over and over about how I was "sparkling" and she had never seen me smile so much. I think about that now when we are having dinner and I eat so much less than my son and he says I can't enjoy food the way I did in the past since I can't eat certain things I used to love.

As to exercise: Can you make a calendar and do weights every other day and jog on the others? Most gyms do say not to do the same thing ever day, you should do cardio one day and strength training the others.

I have to say, I haven't exercised at all since my band, my physical disabilities do prevent it, but I am looking forward to the spring when I can get out and walk around the block. I hate the cold. I have watched every piece of food that goes into my mouth and even though I am not exercising per se I am able to walk up and down the stairs now and doing that 4-10 times a day has been my exercise. My son bought me the WII Sprot fitness and I used it once and hurt for 4 days. Might try it again this week though.

Right now I am at a stand still, haven't lost a lb in over a month.

And I just finished a Valentine cookie that I baked with my grandson, frosting and sprinkles and all. And I don't feel any guilt at all.

[minimeme 1]

You are in your weight loss phase and I personally feel focusing on aerobic exercise is better. If you can lift weights now, great. But right now you need the aerobics more.

I am doing free weights 3x a week. I really, really, reallyreallyreally dont want anymore surgery and if I can do anything/everything I can to keep from having to have cosmetic surgery after I reach goal I am going to do it.

[vlp1968 83]

I am doing free weights 3x a week. I really, really, reallyreallyreally dont want anymore surgery and if I can do anything/everything I can to keep from having to have cosmetic surgery after I reach goal I am going to do it.

Great your doing weights but I hate to tell you that it will not prevent saggy skin. Unfortunatly there is nothing we can do about that. No excersise, no cream. I too am hopeing I will not need plastic surgery. However, I will have it if it's needed.

[Catherine55 43]

Whatever! I literally JUST ate a cookie. If I want one, I have it -- but I typically just have one. I don't approach this as a diet -- my overall strategy is just to make good, healthy food choices. I may have lost slower than others, but I'm only 3.4 pounds from goal, and my slower rate of loss has given my skin time to shrink (I am not going to need plastic surgery). Make sure that your wife understands that this is a marathon, not a race. It does not matter AT ALL how quickly you get to your goal, as long as you are regularly losing and moving toward it.

Stick with what you like on the exercise front. That's what keeps us exercising! The weights idea isn't a bad one though -- Maybe you can throw in a day of weights every other week -- or do some yoga or something less hard on your body to round it all out (plus, the stretching would be good to balance you from the running).

There is no one way to do this -- am sure you will settle into the path that works best for you. :thumbdown:

Best wishes,

Catherine