To tell or not to tell, that is the question...

[Sakura04 0]

I didn't want to tell anyone because of the unsolicited advice that seems to come my way when I make decisions. Had to let my boss know because of the dr's appointments and once my mom had an opportunity to put an APB out to the family when I was in another room, she did and I'm down right pissed. This is my decision to tell anyone if I choose. I got the same response that I'd expect from my 9 year old when confronted my mom about it "oh, I didn't think it's that big of a deal". Establish your expectations up front with your friends and family before telling them anything. It'll save the heartache in the end.

[kells0802 0]

I told 2 of my 4 sisters (the ones that I thought could handle it, and not try to talk me out of it LOL) Then I told 4 of my Best Friends and thats it. These are people that I know have my best interest at heart and would never judge me for it. I told no one in my husbands family because none of them have or ever had a weight problem, and never will understand why you can't just "go on a diet and lose weight on your own". It is definitely a personal choice of who you tell but those are the people I felt most comfortable knowing!! :biggrin:

[csmart 0]

I feel bad you have to deal with this on top of all the stressors that come with this. I am blessed to have an awesome supprot system of family and friends and I am so excited and happy about my future no one is bringing me down

Hang in there!

[wanderingspirit 0]

I was just going to tell my SO and my attendent because I knew they would be very supportive. I then decided to tell a few others including my son and DIL which was a mistake since I did not add the caveat that they were not to tell my 8 yr old granddaughter. Just feel that is too young to tell about major surgery.

[velvets143 2]

I was always very open about it. When I was considering it, I talked to my coworkers, went to the info session, gathered the info and decided for myself before I told everyone. I t was alos really helpful for me that I am a nurse and work in the hospital.

Everyone has been very supportive, and a few people have decided to have the procedure since they have seen my progress. It has been a learning experience for us all. For myself, adapting to what I can and cannot have and my coworkers are comfortable asking me questions about it.

It is helpful that they understand my restrictions and have been wonderful about providing alternatives or keeping temptation out of sight. It is also helpful for patients that are admitted to my floor. I typically do not tell them that i have had the procedure but it really depends on the patient.

[bella71 0]

I told my husband, mother, brother, and sister in law. my mom did tell a couple of my aunts even though I told her not to, so Iam sure bynow most of my family knows, but no one says anything to me. My mom had gastric bypass and is loosign fast, so they are more interested in her :smile2:

My decision not to tell people right away is because I dont want people watching me waiting for me to loose weight. once it happens then I will feel fine with telling them how i did it.

Same situation for me. I haven't told anyone at work. If people don't know, then they are usually too wrapped up with themselves to keep tabs on you. None of my co-workers have noticed I lost weight. And I've lost 80 lbs!! I prefer it that way.

As I lose more weight, I suspect that people will notice and ask me about it. I'll figure out what I'll do then. The semi-acquaintances I have told have been really judgmental and not very supportive, so screw 'em!:redface:

Edited May 15, 2010 by bella71

[sam101 0]

I have only told a few close friends and my mother. I have enough self doubt with out everyone knowing. In a little while, when I feel more confident in myself, I will then start telling other people.

[TC4Wy 0]

I discussed lapband with all my friends and family before having it and every single one supported me because they knew how unhealthy I was and saw my struggles with gaining/losing. I had lost 100 pounds and got sick and gained it all back plus another 40. Anyone who asks, I share it with them. My Mom had Easter dinner and made sure there were foods I could eat. All my other friends and family have supported me. Personally I don't care what others think. I am losing weight, getting healthier, and others keep me accountable. I had my surgery March 22nd, have lost 40 pounds, and stuck to my low carb high Protein diet and have not even thought about cheating. Good luck to all of you!

[DottieAnn 0]

The only person on this planet that knows is my husband. (besides the Dr office of course). I didn't think it was anyone's business. We live out of state away from family....so they dont even know I was hospitalized. My KIDS dont even know, they think I had my gallbladder out b/c I knew they might mention it to someone. Anyway its my business & between my Dr, my hubby & me! I didn't wanna be the subject of everyone's conversations in the family!

[marykb 0]

I told my husband and one close friend and that is it. My family is totally obsessed with weight already and my childhood was filled with wacky diets. I do not want to encourage them to critique what I eat and do.

We just told the kids that I had to have some surgery on my tummy but that I'm ok now. They really didnt' ask any quesions after the first few days. The only questions they did ask were if they could sit on my lap, or I could carry them up the stairs.:thumbup:

[khunt719 2]

The people who know are...my husband, daughter, mother and her boyfriend, and my father. That is all because I don't want to hear how I took the easy way out or you don't have to try because you had the surgery or you aren't losing like some people I know that have had surgery. It is personal preference and who you can trust. I trust my family not to tell anyone because it is no one else's business unless you want them to know. I would want to tell people at work because they are always nagging me to eat more and that I'm not losing the weight in a healthy way. If they only knew but I don't trust them not to judge me. So I eat and exercise and they see the weight slowly, very slowly come off and they are like good job. They think I go see a nutritionist every month but that is when I go for my fills. So when I miss work for that hour they don't say anything but ask "how did it go?" I think it is up to you to tell who you want because it was such a big decision and a major surgery that you should be the one to say something.

[ziek25 0]

Only my wife knows because she is part of my recovery and my partner. I go under the knife in 5 days and on top of that my wife is going to have our first baby (son) a week later. While I'm almost always upfront about everything I do with family and friends I've decided to tell everyone who asks that I've had some emergency abd surgery like gall bladder. It will explain why I might not be up to doing the things I should be able to do when the baby comes. If it were not for the baby I'd tell no one and just cut the weight like I've done in the past. My part of the family has seen me cut and gain for years so they most likely won't but 2 and 2 together. I feel cheap in doing this but it's what I feel comfortable with. Not that they wouldn't support it, I just don't want to share it right now, maybe later.

[rocketray 0]

I think it's a very personal decision and so I've only told 5 people, my husband, my brother who had it last August, one friend at work who I know will keep it to herself, and two close friends. I eat lunch with three other people and it will be difficult not to tell them but I really don't want to so I will make something up. They all think I had some "female minor surgery". People are quick to judge and I think on some level I'm still dealing with having done it. I don't want to have to defend my decision to people I don't know well or care about.

[Nean4488 1]

I told my husband and one close friend and that is it. My family is totally obsessed with weight already and my childhood was filled with wacky diets. I do not want to encourage them to critique what I eat and do.

This is how I feel. My mother told my grandma and today she was over, mind you 5 days post op. asking me "Have you lost weight yet, how much have you lost?" " When can you start working out, you should start soon"

I am really upset with my mom telling all the people that she has told, If it was up to me I wuldnt have told anyone.

[illuminationlady 7]

It is a personal decision because it's your body and many people are not informed as to the entire process. My husband has a big mouth and told everyone. Now I am forced to explain everything over and over. I can be upsetting sometimes. Thank God I'm now dropping the weight because some people ask me every time they see me, "How much weight have you lost?". In the beginning, when I wasn't losing it made me feel bad from time to time. Now it doesn't seems to bother me. People do seem to be slacking off on asking as time goes by...