To tell or not to tell, that is the question...

[LeighaMason 19]

When I went to get my LAP-BAND® I didn't plan on telling anyone but my close family (parents, spouse, siblings), but my mom told my sister before I did and she felt the need to tell almost everyone we know at a public function. So now everyone I know questions me on how its going. Its almost like being pregnant and everyone trying to touch your stomach. So I was wondering, what do yall think? Tell or not?

[ElfiePoo 109]

ROFL...I'm picturing people rubbing my buddha belly and asking about my weight. Oh wait...the buddha belly is gone! Good thing because I'm thinking a punch in the nose would be the only appropriate response.

I didn't have to tell everyone. I told my husband, who told his mom, who told the rest of the family including the aunts and uncles in France. I told my mom who told her family and friends in New Zealand. God only knows who they all told.

Thank heavens I didn't have a particular problem with people knowing.

.

[Mary Ash 16]

I have told family and close friends. I have only been banded a month and there are already some people that I wish I had not told. I now realized that this is a huge decision to decide who you want to tell.

Just remember you can never take back what you tell someone once you tell them. You can always tell them later on but you can never take it back.

[BetsyB 9]

I voted for telling family, friends, and coworkers---but with a caveat: I tell on a need-to-know basis. It's fairly personal information, so like any personal information, there's no need to share with most. However, when circumstances dictate, I do share.

Most of my family knows. Some friends, some coworkers.

[marmar 0]

I told everyone. I look at it this way. Im not doing this on my own the band is helping me. I have had so many people come up to me and say WOW you look so wonderful.And I tell them about the lapband. I dont want some fat person telling me how wonderful Im doing and me letting them think Im better than them and I can lose wight and they cant. I tell them so maybe they will get the help too.

[shadst8 8]

My boss told everyone at work, so though I planned to tell them over time, now it is too late. I do wish some of them did not know, because I have some who try to give advice or say what they do--I do not need their help, and it's about me, so I do not care what you do. Some are naturally curious, and I respect that, and have genuine questions. I am just upfront and tell them how I feel. I said all of that to say, whomever you tell, be prepared for how you will deal with their response

[1unknownperson 0]

I have told 4 people... All of whom are people I don't see too often, but who are close enough of friends who will help me with the support I need.... I had initially only told 3 but then I was talking to a friend who is about 50 pounds overweight and is going for Gastric Bypass and I asked her why she was doing that instead of lap band... SHe had so much false information that I decided to share with her, to help her see it wasn't nessacarily the monster she thinks it is.... She has Kaiser and was told they cover Gastric bypass but not a lapband? But she was approved because she is diabetic Even though she only needs to lose 50 pounds... I have not told my family including my grown children or my boyfriend whom I live with... I have not told my Bosses or co-workers... This is my business.... Hell, my Primary Dr doesn't know yet however I'm sure I'll have to tell him at my next physical... Thats probably something he'll need to put in my chart in case of emergency...

[HiMow 0]

My husband told every one we know. I don't think that he thought that I might not want to tell everyone. Mainly, because I don't want to be monitored but also because most people don't know exactly what it is and we have to get into huge conversations of explaining it.

[kagead 0]

I'm a teller. Personally, I just know I'll do better with a good support network around me.

My mom had Lap-Band 2 1/2 years ago, so the family was no problem.

None of my friends are overweight but they all know the struggles I have gone through. I have been friends with some of these people since I was in grammar school, so they know me VERY well. Even the few that don't really understand why I need to do something this "drastic" have been nothing but supportive.

I am self employed so the boss/coworker thing isn't part of my equation, but the companies I represent and my clients do not know. I have a few colleagues that I travel (and dine) with frequently and some of them do know.

I say, whatever works for you is what is best!

kagead

[LapBandBobbi 8]

I chose to tell my family, friends and co-workers. For the most part they are supportative. What's most important for me is the support I'm getting from my husband! For the rest of them, I'm sure they're watching me close and they do have comments every now and then. Most of them have been positive.

[gwins 0]

It is really a personal decision - some people like to tell everyone and some people consider this a very private affair. I fall into the latter category but I have always been very personal about medical-related things for myself. The only person who knows about this (other than my doctor) is my husband. I didn't even tell my kids, mom, brothers/sisters, etc. My kids just think I had "tummy surgery to fix a leak" and that's why mommy is not eating regular foods.

And I certainly didn't tell anyone at work. They think I had to have gynecological surgery and that's why I was out for 2 weeks. If you just mention "girl parts" to a male boss, they back right down and tell you to just take care of your health!

Most people have very limited knowledge about what WLS and a lapband is or isn't and therefore, they often form opinions and have perceptions that are not accurate. I do not want or need to get into lengthy discussions or debates about my decision.

But again, completely a personal decision and I respect everyone's choice on how they handle this.

An earlier poster gave some great advice -- once you tell someone, you can't take it back. And you can't stop them from spreading it to others. So if you are unsure, wait to tell someone until you are 100% sure you want them to know.

[carbgrl 0]

I only told immediate family. People at work are so nosey as it is, I couldn't stand them judging me or their comments.

[PalmBayTish72 4]

I'm not shouting it from the rooftops, nor am I keeping it a secret from everyone. I told my bosses as one I needed the approval for the time off, but also we are a close knit bunch and I know they would be nothing but supportive.

I have told my family, although I was hesitant in telling my mother considering some of my weight issues and self esteem issues that led to my weight gain over the years was because of her. I was fully expecting her to be against it, but she was ok with it in her own snarky way. I believe she phrased it as "well, if you are desperate enough and insurance covers it, it's your choice". This coming from the woman who spent $15,000 on a face lift and neck Lipo.< /p>

I have been very selective in my friends that I am telling. And I sure as heck am keeping it out of my Facebook updates!!

[festivus 1]

I told only close friends who knew I was having trouble losing weight, very few family, and my 3 co-workers (only because I was having so many doctor's appointments). I'm glad I didn't tell too many people.

[jmw0424 0]

I told my husband, mother, brother, and sister in law. my mom did tell a couple of my aunts even though I told her not to, so Iam sure bynow most of my family knows, but no one says anything to me. My mom had gastric bypass and is loosign fast, so they are more interested in her

My decision not to tell people right away is because I dont want people watching me waiting for me to loose weight. once it happens then I will feel fine with telling them how i did it.