BIG dilemma - HELP!!

[SippNSotaGirl 1]

I work in a small company (family-owned, not my family, 23 employees TOP!) with no HR or legal department. People here have NO sense of what are appropriate questions vs. inappropriate ones. I'm having WLS on March 26 to coincide with my Spring Break from school, and I've chosen to keep my WLS a secret.

My quandary is, how do I ask for the time off from work, and what reason do I give? I thought about waiting until the last minute and calling in saying I had an "emergency" surgery, but I'm not sure whether that will work.

Any ideas? Time is running out for me, so your suggestions are GREATLY appreciated. Thanks!!

[kimaly 57]

I would take your boss to the side and tell him or her what's going on and explain to him or her that it's a private matter and you insist on keeping it between just the two of you. I don't know the people you work for but my husband and I have a small company and we would have no problem keeping it private. Or you could always use the old fall back if your boss is male you could tell him it's female issues and it's not a big deal but you would rather not go into detail. Anyhow good luck on whatever you decide. And just for the record I'm very open about my band and don't really care what people think about it. This is my life and it's for me not them.

[MandaPanda 0]

I've heard some people on this site use the excuse of hernia repair since the surgery incisions, recovery time, post op diet, etc. are similar. Hope this helps. :thumbup:

[arthukd 1]

leagally, your employer can NOT ask why you are having surgery. I would just tell your employer either 1) you are taking off during spring break to be w/ your kids if you have them or some other reason that you could say was for spring break or 2) tell them you are having surgery. they do not have the right to ask any further questions concerning your medical procedure. If they do ask, simploy respond with, I really do not want to discuss it. (that is what I told my boss when he said, "I assume it is female related" when I told him about my surgery). other people at my office know what surgery I had, but I chose not to tell my boss b/c he makes inappropriate comments.

[Nikki71 0]

Female issues...that is what I said....try not to get too detailed.

[TLP1212 32]

I said female issues as well!

[corinne211 0]

In the US you dont have to disclose what surgury you are going in for. It is actually illegal to ask you.

If you want to tell them something youc an tell them you have hernia surgery. Most of us had a hernia repair during WLS so it wouldnt really be a lie. Also if they are requiring a DR note you can ask your discharge nurse for a filled out form stating how long hospital stay and how long the doc wants you resting at home. You tell them it is for work and they will make it vague, since of doc patient confidentiality.

GOOD LUCK!

[dowhatitdo1 1]

I would say that Im having female issues and I need to have surgery. its not there bus what type of surgety that u r having but ur doc will give u a return back to work slip and ur time off will be covered and secured due to medical issues... dnt worry about it and congrads on ur surgery date u r on ur way welcom aboard!!!!

[ElfiePoo 109]

Personally, I'm not into the whole 'lying' thing so I'd just tell them I'm having elective surgery and if they're brass enough to ask, would tell them it's 'personal and I don't wish to discuss it'. As someone already said, in the U.S. you aren't required to tell them.

They'll probably have more fun letting their imaginations run wild about what you could possibly be getting done.

.

[minimeme 1]

With it being so small and a family run business, chances are they are going to find out when they get their insurance review. So, if it were me I would not lie. I would simply tell them you need time off for health issues and leave it at that. If they push, tell them you are having surgery but try to avoid giving them the opening to ask too many questions.

Also, with it being so small they are exempt from a lot of the federal regulations regarding disabilities, discrimination and such. (before anyone jumps on me, notice I said federal and look it up yourself. FMLA cover businesses with over 50 employees).

Edited February 9, 2010 by minimeme

[outside*looking*in 0]

Hernia repair is the response I will have. If these people will ask questions, they probably won't stop at "female problems".

[Catherine55 43]

I didn't tell my work why I was having surgery -- I basically told people about it by saying . . "Hey -- can you give me some advice? I need to tell [someone else] that I'm going to be out for surgery, but I'm pretty private and I don't want them to ask me all about what it's for -- I just really don't want to talk about it. What would you do?" That actually worked really well.

Also, if you're not going to tell people about it, be sure to let it slip to someone who talks a lot that you are dieting NOW. That way, they won't necessarily associate your weight loss with your surgery date b/c people will have seen you working on your diet long before you were out.

I hope that helps! Honestly, most people are so focused on themselves that you really don't have to tell anyone about the surgery if you don't want to.

Catherine

[corinne211 0]

I think I got lucky with my work/friends. I told my Boss I would be out for 1 week for surgery. He never asked about what for. He had surgery last year, so he is sensitive to the matter.

My surgery date was 1/5/10 and coincidentally I got engaged on 12/24/09, so everyone is assuming I am on a wedding diet. lol. its actually kept people asking me. Wow how much have you lost this week? Nothing is more motivating then a white dress. HA HA.

[SippNSotaGirl 1]

Thanks, everyone, for the suggestions! They've been really helpful.

Minimeme, I'd totally forgotten about the lack of FMLA coverage. If the law doesn't require it, my employer sure as heck won't offer it. She offers the bare minimum.

But now I'm freaking out, but I hadn't thought about the insurance review. They'll for sure find out then, and once they do, word will spread. I'm already embarassed about being the biggest person here. I'm not sure how to handle that. I almost want to put the brakes on things, but I know that's not the best approach. Seriously, I know about the legal issues, etc., but these people tell everything. Now, all of a sudden, I'm in panic mode. :cursing:

[june09bandit 0]

You know, the best way to alleviate your panic is to go ahead and tell them.

I wasn't going to tell my boss, but I eventually decided that he needed to know. I'm glad I did, or else he would never understand why I have to go to Tucson twice a month for doctor's appts when I seem to be perfectly healthy. I did make sure I told him that I do not want anyone else to know - it's my business and I intend to keep it that way. I believe he has respected my wishes.