male only Lady needing candid advice...

[Who'sThere 331]

Okay, fellas, I'm sure NONE of you have this problem, but you probably know someone who does. My DH has high BP and is on meds for that. Also, he is about 395 and 6'4", so that probably doesn't help either, but he has basically no labido. Maybe I have an over-inflated opinion of myself, but I don't think it's me that's turning him off. I am the same size now I was when we were married ten years ago, and he couldn't keep his hands off me then. What I want to know is if there is anything you guys can suggest that I can do to help him out or do you think it's something I'm doomed to just deal with. Thanks in advance for your responses!

[kirafiki 0]

Ok, I am not a guy, but I do know that both the high BP and the meds for it can cause a man or woman to loose their libido. I don't have any ideas about helping that though. I hope the men out there can give some advice! Good luck.. Nothing like getting some good nookie to make a day better!

[mike_mcginn 0]

It is a function of over all health. He just does not feel good.

Maybe like me he has been so big, so long that he has

forgotten what feeling good feels like. It is not just the meds,

but that is a part of it, it is the reason for the meds. I am

sure if he could will himself to feel good he would, but it just

doesn't work like that.

Sorry, can't give you any real advice, only say the more

I lose and move around the better I feel.

[Who'sThere 331]

So, I'm basically doomed, huh? He isn't interested in making any changes, so I don't think he will lose any weight any time soon. This doesn't bother me. My husband is a very attractive man despite his weight...sexy in fact...tall, broad shoulders, nice arms...I could go on, but I won't...you men don't wanna hear what a hunk I am married to. I just wish he would "ravage my body" like he used to. I suppose I was hoping for some magic trick you guys could suggest that would really flip his trigger and make him the old horn dog he used to be...I suppose I'm getting a very strong libido with my weight loss and just wishing my hubby would have one, too.

So, if any of the rest of you have any naughty suggestions, I'd be glad to hear them.

[B-Man 1]

You know after watching the biggest looser for so long, they make a big deal about the people's age as it relates to the condition their body is in, versus a calendar age. Since your hubby does have morbid obesity health issues, his hormones are most likely that of a much older man. He could very well be suffering from a drop in testosterone which almost eliminate his sex drive.

You might want to suggest to him that he have a hormone workup done to determine if he is could benefit from replacement treatments. That would benefit his energy, metabolism, and libido.

[JQT1954 0]

Amy, drop me a note at jq_tadlock@yahoo.com for my comments.

-Jim

[AirKuhl 1]

Being overweight triggers hormonal changes that lower male libido.

Having high blood pressure may cause erectile dysfunction.

BP meds definitely can cause erectile dysfunction.

All of the above can cause psychological stress that dramatically lowers libido.

All of this stuff gets worse with age.

Put this all together and it's probably pretty clear what's going on. He needs to drop some weight and he'll be an animal again. :-)

[Who'sThere 331]

Thanks, guys. And Jim, thanks for your comments. They were exactly the kind of suggestions I was looking for.

[get fit 0]

there is also a chance of high cholesterol and blocked arteries preventing the blood flow to the penis and this would definitely affect other body areas especially the heart. When doctors hear you have labido problems they will do blood work for cholesterol and test for blood flow and pulmimary problems. It would be wise to have a complete physical by a reliable physician which could be a life saver and add many years to your life.

[Who'sThere 331]

Thanks...he does have regular bloodwork and, surprisingly he has never had trouble with cholesterol, thankfully! (My dad had lots of heart problems, so this is a close issue to me.)

[Northern Mist 2]

How about an all over body massage with a little bit of oil? My husband loves this! It leads to sex most of the time but sometimes he is exhausted and really likes to just go to sleep

Tell him you appreciate him and it's to make him relax and mean it. As your massaging him, tell him what you like about him including the physical things - you don't have to talk dirty or put sexual pressure on him.

Expect to have a happy relaxed husband and if things start to warm up.... good. If they don't just keep giving him massages once or twice a week and maybe he will start to think he is a hot sexy man again. Worst comes to worst....you could take care of yourself........ hope you don't take offense :smile: A woman has to do what a woman has to do!

If it's not a physical problem this will make you both feel closer physically and good things can come from this even if it's not sex. Good luck!

[Gene888 1]

One of the first steps taken by the majority of those who have high blood pressure is to begin a regimen of prescription drug treatment. Unfortunately, the same drugs that are proven to lower blood pressure also are often linked to sexual side effects. In particular, drugs containing beta blockers and diuretics can cause significant erectile issues among men who take them. For this reason, men often combine erectile dysfunction drugs with their blood pressure medication.