What do you say?

[illuminationlady 7]

I am currently in Bandster Hell and awaiting restriction. I know I will get there but the scale isn't moving. The problem is my close family and friends always ask, "How much have you lost?" What do you all say when posed with this question? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I know the scale will move again and have come to terms with this but hate explaining about fills and restriction to people who don't understand what "band" life is like.

[Knny79 0]

Tell them the truth. Even if you've lost one pound and kept it off, you're doing better than you would have without the band. You are sure doing better than 99.9% of the people who are dieting. Tell them the band works slower than other weight loss surgeries, which is better b/c we dont have as much loose skin! Always a silver lining.

[mkmelissag 0]

I get this a lot too - especially from my mom and sister. I try to respond by saying right now I'm not focusing on the numbers, but rather on how I feel. Then I show them how loose my pants are. I was banded on 12/24 and have 2 weeks until my first fill. I get tired of trying to explain fills, restriction, etc. too. I weigh myself only once a week anyway, so I can always say, "gee, I'm not sure, haven't weighed since Tuesday!" I also hate, can you eat that??? Um, if I couldn't, I wouldn't. I don't need food police. :thumbup:

[Cocoabean 430]

You could say that your surgeon wants you to only weigh in when you are at his office for post-op appointments, but that your clothes feel looser. Thus, you haven't been on a scale in a while.

[Humming Bird 275]

All good ideas. If you feel like it at the time, you could explain about how the band works ..... fills.....restriction.......

[kirafiki 0]

I might be a bit more militant than others, but I always say that just as my weight wasn't something they could discuss with me before I had surgery, it is still an off-limits topic. I follow that by saying, I don't obsess on your weight, why is it that you do on mine?

[Cocoabean 430]

I might be a bit more militant than others, but I always say that just as my weight wasn't something they could discuss with me before I had surgery, it is still an off-limits topic. I follow that by saying, I don't obsess on your weight, why is it that you do on mine?

I love it! Not my style, but I DO love it! :thumbup:

[kirafiki 0]

I love it! Not my style, but I DO love it! :thumbup:

THANKS! It has taken me YEARS to be able to stand up for myself the way I do now. Oddly, it was having the surgery that made it possible for me to speak my mind about my body and its size.

Continued success to all!

[Cocoabean 430]

THANKS! It has taken me YEARS to be able to stand up for myself the way I do now. Oddly, it was having the surgery that made it possible for me to speak my mind about my body and its size.

Continued success to all!

It is funny how when we are gaining no one says, "oh, how much have you gained?" But start losing, and it is a free for all.

You are absolutely correct that it is really no one's business how much you have lost, or if you had surgery, or how you are losing it.

I believe for most people asking it is genuine happiness for us, and wanting to cheer us on.

But some people can ask questions that are out of bounds. There is a thread here that speaks to comments that sting that are passed off as compliments.

[kagead 0]

I haven't been banded yet but I have started watching what I eat and have increased my exercise so I am starting to get comments.

My new response, which I imagine I'll keep up post-op is, "This time I'm not focusing on the number on the scale- it has been my downfall in the past so I really have no idea."

Once the number becomes significant (hopefully!!), I may have to adjust, but I hope this approach will work for quite some time.

kagead

[adagray 1]

For family and friends, I take the time to explain how the band works. I know it takes some extra effort, but if you spend that time upfront w/each person, then you never have to explain it again. And, they will have a better and more genuine understanding of how the whole thing works.

I have a friend whose mom had recently gotten the band when I was pre-op and she told me it didn't seem to be working for her. Post-op, I was explaining to a bunch of my friends about the whole fill process and this same friend had no idea about it (even though her mom has the band). That seems weird to me. So, she had deemed the band a 'failure' for her mom when she didn't even know how it works or where her mom was in the process.

I think its better to take the time and explain to people how it works. Granted, we don't have time to go out and educate the whole world on the subject, but taking the time and effort to explain it to family and friends is worthwhile I think.

Edited January 31, 2010 by adagray

[illuminationlady 7]

It is funny how when we are gaining no one says, "oh, how much have you gained?" But start losing, and it is a free for all.

.

So true!!! lol...Thanks for all the great suggestions guys. I really was stummped on this one. I tend to be very open...too open sometimes. Some of your suggestions made me chukle too. But some really great thoughts on the subject!

Thanks for the reminder that I am doing well just by maintaining also. This site has been a tremendous support to me

On the subject of educating people. I tell them the all about the fills, etc. and the next time I see them I have to repeat the whole thing. It gets old. It's not the focus of their lives so they need refresher courses each time I see them. And yet, the question still comes up...usually right away..."How much have you lost." Maybe if I was a little more forward and to the point, as one poster posted, about the subject they would stop....thoughts to ponder...

Edited January 31, 2010 by illuminationlady

[ocotillo 0]

Although I told my friends, I didn't tell many people at work. People have expectations of rapid weight loss and miracles....it just isn't happening that way. I guess I'm lucky that no one has really asked how much I've lost.

I think they've noticed....but I'm still very large, my stomach is still large and I'm wearing a lot of my old clothes and it hides my weight loss pretty well. I also haven't lost any weight for a little over 3 months. I'm just now starting back down the scale and hoping in another three months to be lighter. Enough so to buy a few new clothes.

Sorry....I digress.....so tell people this isn't bypass and the weight doesn't come off quickly. It truly is a diet and exercise program with help and the weight will come off slowly. It is what I tell people that do ask. I'm dieting and exercising. It's exactly what I'm doing.

You've done very well since December. Good luck in your journey

[sue in ne 1]

I am currently in Bandster Hell and awaiting restriction. I know I will get there but the scale isn't moving. The problem is my close family and friends always ask, "How much have you lost?" What do you all say when posed with this question? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I know the scale will move again and have come to terms with this but hate explaining about fills and restriction to people who don't understand what "band" life is like.

Chill, It has only been a week. The amount you have lost so far has to do with surgery, not the band. It may take 3 fills befor you feel restrictions. Just eat like you should- not like what you did before.

[chinchilla mom 0]

I might be a bit more militant than others, but I always say that just as my weight wasn't something they could discuss with me before I had surgery, it is still an off-limits topic. I follow that by saying, I don't obsess on your weight, why is it that you do on mine?

I agree 100%.