Maybe we "should" tell

[willowcat 93]

I really don't want to tell people I've had the band (some people are nosy and just want a good piece of gossip to share), but I've been thinking maybe I should--for the greater good.

Researchers really don't know why some people are naturally thin. Appetite hormones? Higher metabolisms? Genetics?Whatever the reason, some people really don't have to think about their weight. Those of us here,though, really DO have to think about our weight, and make good choices AND have had surgery to help us (researchers have shown that most regular dieters gain back 100% of their lost weight within 5 years).

My brother and his b*tch of a wife (who's truly naturally thin) once decided they needed to have an intervention of sorts with me and tell me that I really was getting too fat. They couched it in that they were "worried" for me--what was to stop me from becoming the "500lb. woman" afterall? I put them in their place and told them that my weight was none of their business (they definitely qualify as one of the nosy ones I don't really want to tell I've had surgery).

They have two daughters. One has never really cared to eat and has always been lithe. The other has always been "sturdier" in her build and has always enjoyed food. The sturdier one is athletic and muscular, yet at 9 years old, her pediatrician warned my brother that this daughter is "at risk" for becoming overweight. Well, you can be sure that my brother and his wife began monitoring just about everything that went in this girl's mouth (now she's a food "sneaker" when they're not looking)!

People don't understand how nearly impossible it is to lose weight (and keep it off). On the tv show, Friends, it always bothered me how the character Monica used to be obese but then is extremely thin, AND is a chef--they never say how she lost the weight and keeps it off (one time she did say that she never lets her "fat girl eat anymore"). It leaves one thinking that she must have just found the will to "put the fork down" (don't you just hate it when people say that?!) and she magically lost all that weight. I know it was just a tv show, but it reflected the views of our society.

I'm thinking about my niece, who through no fault of her own, could possibly end up having weight issues. I'm thinking about all the desperate people who've tried everything, but are still overweight/obese despite their best efforts. I'm thinking that for all those people who might look at me and say "see, she could do it--she just ate less and exercised more"--that for all of them, maybe we "should" tell the truth about our bands.

Because, NO, I couldn't have lost 75 lbs so far without the band. Yes, I exercised before the band; I ate smaller portions before the band; I lost weight before the band--and I put the weight back on because I felt like I was starving before the band (on Weight Watchers I'd go nuts at the end of the day when all my points were used up and I was still SO VERY HUNGRY!). The band helps me eat less AND feel satisfied for the first time in my adult life. For that, I am so grateful (I think that might just be how naturally skinny people feel on small amounts of food--but I don't know).

Maybe we should tell--gossipers and judgers be damned--because while we may have used our tool properly (good food choices and exercise), none of us was able to do it by ourselves before being banded.

Honestly, I don't really know what I'm going to say to people who ask. I've just been thinking that maybe I "should" be honest...

[Humming Bird 275]

It is a very personal choice, as we can all see by the many posts about it on LBT. Only we know the people in our own lives and can judge how they will respond.

I am generally in the tell all camp and have a huge support team bacause of it, but in the beginning there were 2 people I did not want to tell.

I was working in an office with a husband and wife as bosses. In my opnion, they were very judgemental of other people and looked down their noses like they were better than everyone else. They were both very tiny in stature. They were also very crooked in their business practices. They treated employees badly and I had been keeping my eyes open for a new job.

I only took one day off that job to have surgery (I work 3 part-time jobs). I did not want them to know just because they were so judgemental in general and did not want them to know anything about me personally. They had me fill out a questionaire shortly after I started there asking things that were none of their business. Things like, what types of medication do you take? I filled it out with N/A in most of the blanks. Nosey Jerks!

I had already talked at length about it with my co-workers and we came up with a plan just for fun.

No matter who the bosses asked about my surgery we would all have the same reply. Well, they ask one of my co-workers in a gossip type of tone. She told them I had VAGINAL REJOUVENATION ! They were such prudes it shut them down right away! My co-workers and I all had a good laugh daily about it for a month until I found a replacement job. To this day I don't know if anyone ever told them different and I don't care ! I had worked there for 13 months and only took that one day off for surgery. They wrote me up for taking that day off.

[Humming Bird 275]

I also do not want people to be mislead thinking I have taken off the wieght with any fad diet or waste of money weightloss company like JC or NS.

[adagray 1]

Great post! I'm in the 'tell all' camp because I hate to perpetuate the myth that I could take it off on my own. Lord knows, all my friends and family have already seen me try everything else. My mom also struggled w/her weight her entire life. I got to see first hand how HARD she REALLY tried and could never get it off or keep it off. My mother is one of the strongest people I know. I'm glad she told me that she got lapband because a year after when I was down in the dumps because I failed WW AGAIN, it gave me hope to have something else I could try and that worked for her.

ANYWAY, so I tell, tell, tell and have been very happy to find that ALL of my family and friends have been supportive. I do not judge others who do not want to tell, though. Every individual has to make their own decision as to whether telling others will be more helpful or hurtful to their success. And, if in doubt, its probably better to hold back on telling until you are totally comfortable with it because you cannot 'untell'.

For me, anyone who would judge me for this or gossip about it, isn't a true friend anyway so I don't really care what they think. And, really, gossiping is most hurtful to the person who is doing the gossiping. Its bad for the soul. I know because I used to gossip and it only ended up making me feel bad about myself. I also figure gossipers will gossip whether I give them material or not. So, if they want to gossip about me, then I say go for it. I'd rather have them gossip about me (cause I don't care) than gossip about someone who would be hurt by it.