Sabatoging my progress......

[deb12983 0]

I am 2 months post op and have been doing really well. I have lost 44 lbs. This week however, I seem to be sabatoging myself by eating when I am not really hungry and eating all the wrong things. I need to figure this out before I totally ruin all my sucess. Why do we do this to ourselves?

[ElfiePoo 109]

I am 2 months post op and have been doing really well. I have lost 44 lbs. This week however, I seem to be sabatoging myself by eating when I am not really hungry and eating all the wrong things. I need to figure this out before I totally ruin all my sucess. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I think the answer lies in why we overeat to begin with. For most of us, eating is our addiction. Even the medical community is finally coming around to the fact that it is an addiction.

Imagine an alcoholic being told they must drink one shot of alcohol every day...but that's all. Imagine a gambling addict being told they must go into a casino and play one round of cards every day...but that's all.

Now, imagine a food addict being told they can only have 'so much' food and that's all.

It's the same thing. The only difference is that we can't avoid our addiction. We have to find some way to control it while still using it.

That's the beauty of the band. With good restriction, we can eat like normal people and when the demons of that addiction grab us by the throat, the band will remind us to stop when we attempt to drown ourselves in it. Either by making us feel full...or through pain should we be stupid enough to continue.

Without restriction, I eat until I think I'll pop. With restriction, I feel full and know that one more bite and I'll pay with pain. Pain is a good deterrent for me.

.

[BetsyB 9]

I don't believe I'm so much addicted to food as I am to the feelings of comfort it provides.

What does it comfort? Primarily fear. When I find myself self-sabotaging, it almost always helps to look for what is scaring me.

[ElfiePoo 109]

I don't believe I'm so much addicted to food as I am to the feelings of comfort it provides.

What does it comfort? Primarily fear. When I find myself self-sabotaging, it almost always helps to look for what is scaring me.

Just as an alcoholic or gambler or shopping addict uses their addiction to comfort their fears and insecurities. :w00t:

In the past it was believed that you could 'cure' an addict by getting to the root cause. Now we know that just isn't true.

.

[BetsyB 9]

Elfie, I both agree and disagree with you.

It's not the food, per se, that is the issue. Everyone requires food--no one requires alcohol or gambling. (Well, I suppose one could argue that an alcoholic in the throes of the DTs requires alcohol or medical intervention to prevent injury, but that's a different story.)

I am not addicted to food. I am addicted to the good feelings it produces. An alcoholic IS, in fact, addicted to alcohol--not just the feelings it produces. There is a physical dependence that is very different from what goes on with overeating. If I don't overeat, I do not experience physical and neurological changes that can threaten my life. I just want a scone. It's not potentially fatal.

That said, I don't disagree, at all, with the comparison between self-sabotage with eating and other addictive behaviors. No matter what our methods, it quite often IS based in a need to self-soothe.

However, outcome is VERY different for overeaters who can pinpoint what's "eating them" and alcoholics and addicts who do the same. Identifying "issues" can be helpful to the drug addict or alcoholic, but in a way that is more useful once detox is accomplished, treatment is given, and recovery entered. In fact, it's pretty important in terms of building a strong defense against recidivism.

The psychology of overeating shares some traits with addictive diseases. The physiology is so, so different that I have difficulty calling obesity/overeating an addiction to food. And therefore, I still maintain that identifying what's "eating me" really IS immensely helpful.

[btrieger 21]

I'm with Betsy on this one. I have a problem with alcohol, gambling and food. None of these are addictions for me. They are compulsions. I hide behind them or use them to fill in voids in my life. Finding a non-destructive hobby will definitely curb all of the above.

Calling it an addiction is just a way of justifying your actions to yourself and others.

Deb,

You did great for a couple of weeks but were you depriving yourself of the things you now crave? If so, that is where the problem lays.

There are no bad foods when eaten in moderation.

It sounds like you may have been trying a little too hard. Meet in the middle and eat at a rate where you will lose half as much as you were over the last couple of months. You'll still lose weight, yet you won't be depriving yourself as much.

[vlp1968 83]

I'm with Betsy on this one. I have a problem with alcohol, gambling and food. None of these are addictions for me. They are compulsions. I hide behind them or use them to fill in voids in my life. Finding a non-destructive hobby will definitely curb all of the above.

Calling it an addiction is just a way of justifying your actions to yourself and others.

I disagree with the above statement. What's the difference between a compulsion and addictive behavior. To me there is none. I too have had issues with gambling and food and also drugs. I agree it is about filling a void, also about getting in touch with your feelings. I am in therapy including a 1:1 once a month and a group once a week.

I do agree that food is the hardest. Temptation is everywhere and like already said, you must eat.

I have found restriction to be a great tool. Also as already said, it reminds me when to stop. And if I don't I will pay for it with discomfort.

[btrieger 21]

I should have qualified my statement with:

In my opinion, an addiction is physical and a compulsion is mental.

[flychica 0]

Deb, I'm sorry your doing this.....in the past 2 weeks I have found myself eating breads, rice.....whatever, and even last night, I probably shouldn't have ate pizza but I did. I know its not good, but I did it anyway.

I realized last night though....I was finishing it off, just to finish it off and I wasn't hungry. I was bored. Go figure.

Today starts as a fresh new day, a new day to make better decisions.

I hope you find that motivation back...and realize that you can stop it. Obviously your recognizing that your doing it.......so whats the next step? Stopping it...or as someone else mentioned, allow yourself some of the things you've been craving but in moderation.

[ElfiePoo 109]

I should have qualified my statement with:

In my opinion, an addiction is physical and a compulsion is mental.

A food addiction is physical. If I eat *any* type of carbs found in Pasta, Beans, rice, bread (basically any flour product whether it be whole grain or refined), I set up a chemical reaction in my body that physically craves more of these carbs.

I went on Atkins for 5 months and lost 70 lbs. The first week was the hardest. I was literally going through withdrawal. I had all of the physical symptoms of withdrawal as well...nausea, lightheadedness, headaches, etc.

After the 2nd week of absolutely no carbs, I was fine. No cravings, no 'compulsion' to eat. The *first* bite of carbs I put in my system and it was downhill from there on a rollercoaster binge. So I learned not to eat carbs...at all...and I lost 70 pounds. At some point it just became too much to avoid all carbs. So no more weight loss. Fortunately, I didn't gain it back though because I increased my activity to compensate. However, I deal with it from another angle -- diabetes. The only way to keep my blood sugar levels within a normal range is to either give up carbs completely...or take insulin. No surprise I'm on insulin.

The band helps me deal with my carb addiction because I physically cannot eat the carbs except in tiny quantities...and yes, when I sit there and finish my 1/4 cup of potatoes, rice, a roll, etc...within 30 minutes my body starts screaming "MORE!" and the only thing that stops me is knowing that if I do, I will get immediate, painful feedback. We (therapists) call it 'aversion therapy'. Like the drug they give alcoholics that makes them nauseated and feel sick if they drink while taking the medication.

Calling something an 'addiction' doesn't make it an excuse. It's just an explanation for the behavior. If calling it an 'addiction' is an excuse, then the same applies to alcoholism, gambling, shopping or any other 'addiction'. Just pull yourself up by your boot straps and fix it. Fortunately, we're coming out of the dark ages and recognizing that people can be addicted to food and it's not completely about willpower or self-control. It's about a physical craving.

This may not be true of all overweight people. Some people eat to bury their pain. Some just eat the wrong things or aren't active enough. My mom dropped 75 pounds and has kept it off by doing nothing more than kicking her 12 cans of Pepsi and bag of chips a day habit and getting off her butt. She now drinks diet-pepsi and rarely eats potato chips and stays active. Some of us have a physical addiction.

In any case, until we each find the reason for why we overeat, we'll always be fat. Just ask the people who've been banded for years and still are.

.

Edited January 17, 2010 by ElfiePoo

[ElfiePoo 109]

An alcoholic IS, in fact, addicted to alcohol--not just the feelings it produces. There is a physical dependence that is very different from what goes on with overeating. If I don't overeat, I do not experience physical and neurological changes that can threaten my life.

The physiology is so, so different that I have difficulty calling obesity/overeating an addiction to food. And therefore, I still maintain that identifying what's "eating me" really IS immensely helpful.

It isn't different and that is why the medical community now recognizes there is such a thing as food addiction.

You're also comparing from two different angles. A food addict is addicted to food and there is a physical dependence as I explained in my previous post. You said, "if you don't overeat you don't experience physical and neurological changes that threaten your life." Guess what. Neither does an alcoholic. It is only when the alcoholic is in the throes of his addiction, or withdrawing from it, that he does...as does the food addict in the throes of their addiction and/or their withdrawal from it.

*You* may not be a food addict. As I said in my previous post, there are many reasons for being overweight and not all of them are necessarily a result of an addiction.

As part of my doctoral degree, I was required to go through therapy myself and I know that my relationship with food absolutely meets all the criteria of an addiction. That 'revelation' is actually what led me to WLS.

I agree that not everyone's will be an 'addiction', but in the meantime we should not be making judgments about someone else's relationship with food. First because most here are not trained in behavioral modification therapy or any other type of therapy and even those of us who are only see a fraction of a person's true thoughts and feelings in these posts.

.

[BetsyB 9]

Elfie, I'm willing to accept that. I don't have a particular issue with carbs; while I may want and crave them, I don't experience any sort of physiological reaction when I eat (or do not eat) them. I do eat "cleanly," and avoid refined carbs to maximize my health and loss. But it's not to avoid symptoms.

I think there are probably as many different answers to WHY as there are people.

My point was that for ME, identifying what's going on in my head is useful when I'm trying to change my behavior. It's not required--I can white-knuckle any kind of change. But for long-term success, I do better if I'm able to say, "Oh, I've just hit the 30-pound down mark, and the last time I weighed this little, x, y, and z were going on. Wow, that was uncomfortable; I wonder whether approaching this weight again is stirring up feelings that are causing me to get in my own way."

Obviously, that does not mean that other things (types of foods eaten, and so on) don't require change. It just is helpful.

I made the distinction between alcoholics and addicts in that, while it's great for an alcoholic to recognize what triggered his/her disease, once it IS a disease, that knowledge is relatively useless. If you withdraw alcohol, life-threatening physiological responses occur, and medical intervention is required.

I hadn't considered that for some, banding might represent a similar sort of medical intervention to help treat carb addiction. Interesting to ponder.

[ElfiePoo 109]

If you withdraw alcohol, life-threatening physiological responses occur, and medical intervention is required.

True, but that is not what qualifies it as an addiction. Some people have an addiction to sex, gambling, shopping, etc...none of which will cause death if the addiction were withdrawn. Even with alcoholism, life-threatening physiological responses aren't always a fact. It depends on how long that person has been an alcoholic and how much they've been drinking.

My brother, 4 uncles and several cousins are all alcoholics. At some point in their lives, they all just went cold turkey without life-threatening complications. At this stage of their addiction, it would definitely be life threatening.

My point was that for ME, identifying what's going on in my head is useful when I'm trying to change my behavior.

I think that is a very good point even for those with an addiction. Addicts don't just quit their particular demon. They get group and individual support. They have a mentor who looks out for them and who's there during their moments of crisis. They get therapy to learn behavior modification.

Changing our behavior is just the beginning. Unless we figure out what sets us off, we'll continue to go round and round with our weight.

I hadn't considered that for some, banding might represent a similar sort of medical intervention to help treat carb addiction. Interesting to ponder.

It's great aversion therapy. I made a cherry kuchen to take to a homebound acquaintance's home when I visit this afternoon and I timed it so that it would be out of the oven after I'd eaten lunch because if I try to eat a piece of that now, after I'm full from lunch, Hilda (my band) is going to slap me hard. I'd make a lousy spy because I'd do just about anything to avoid pain. :w00t: