female only Divorce and the band

[tolpednurse 0]

ok I know there has had threads on the topic of divorce....

I am in the process of getting approved for the band (over the past year), and my husband has broken my ultimate trust.... I don't think our marriage could ever be repaired and I am going to be asking him for a divorce this weekend.

From your experience, should I go ahead and get the band or wait till the divorce is over?

[TinaM 0]

I'm 5 weeks post op. I'm not married. The 6 months leading up to surgery and the 5 weeks since have been very tedious. I have had to watch my food, exercise, attend appointments and classes.

I could not have made it without a large amount of support from my family and close friends. At a couple of points I had some stressful situations arise at work and I wondered if I could make it thru this and still 'keep it together'.

I guess you need to decide the priorities first - the divorce or the band? if you haven't already started your journey for the band keep in mind that could take 3 to 6 months.

At times i felt the changes in my life were overwhleming I couldn't manage a divorce or breakup mixed in with it but then again, you have so much support from a medicaly team and therapist ... maybe that would help.

[rhondalou117 1]

Depends....whose insurance is paying for the band?

[Humming Bird 275]

I don't know the details of your divorce, but if it were me, I would go ahead with the band. The band is something you are doing for YOU.

[nkara 0]

My divorce was the best thing to happen to me. I wouldn't hold back on doing something for yourself just because of that.

You will do great and be healthy for the next chapter in your life. :w00t:

[minimeme 1]

Not knowing all the details, I say get the band. It will give you something to focus on other than your husbands betrayal and the implosion of your marriage.:w00t:

[gingerjane 5]

I think you should go forward with something for yourself. You know you want the divorce. Look at it as a total cleansing and changing for YOU. This isn't about him, it's about you. You're worth it.

I think that this entire process (I am still pre-band, so I'm in that) is emotional and draining no matter what the circumstances. If it's one of those things where you're going to be angry with him as it is, I would cut those ties and get the band. Put your focus on something for yourself.

[JennyLynn 0]

For sure do the band first! I had my surgery April of 2008 and about two weeks after I had found out my husband had cheated on me with my cousin who was living with us at the time. I was so upset and my weight would have skyrocketed if I had not had the surgery before I found out. If I found out before hand I would have been so depressed I may have cancelled. Its a long difficult road.... but be strong, you will make it through just fine.

[samanthazzz 0]

"silly wabbit" ..(in my best Trix rabbit impression) get the band!" it will be the smartest move you do

Good luck:smile:

[samanthazzz 0]

"silly wabbit" ..(in my best Trix rabbit impression) get the band!" it will be the smartest move you do

Good luck:smile:

[JennBand08 0]

Definitely get the band. It wasn't some traumatic thing that will last long.. sure a couple of rough weeks right after surgery, but nothing too terrible. But you'll be feeling great about yourself,losing weight, enjoying the changes, and thats something that will be a big help as you go through divorce. I say Go For It!

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

Depends....whose insurance is paying for the band?

Good answer!!! Assuming insurance coverage isn't an issue I'd go ahead and start the band process...if you have a 3 or 6 month wait you can get the divorce done while you're waiting. I was divorced long before the band came along but I think working on the band process would have given me some hope for the future, feeling better about myself, finding someone, etc.

However, that said, how do you think you're going to handle the divorce? Are you so mad it's going to be a relief to get it over with or are you going to be emotionally drawn out throughout the ordeal? You need to emotionally stable enough that you can focus on the band and put your all into it. I think I just contradicted myself with the above answers! Oops, sorry!

Good luck with everything and remember you deserve so much better than what he's done.

[pk3207 1]

My mom got a divorce about 8 months ago and is now getting the band at the end of the month. Im so excited for her. It will be a start of a new healthy life!

[thu1976355 0]

I was seperated when I decided to get the band.. It was a year ago I decided to start this process. I am 5 weeks post op and have decided to move forward with the divorce. Ironically now all of a sudden my husband wants to reconcile but it is too late.... I find with each 10 lbs I lose my confidence to work on me and walk away greatens.....Do the band and if you are sure you want a divorce doing it post op..... Good luck..

[suzahhn 19]

Another vote for the band! You come first.