Help--boss announces to whole staff about surgery

[shadst8 8]

I am very upset. I work at an elementary school as an assistant principal. I did not attend the last faculty meeting. Well thanks to a wonderful teacher assistant who thought I should know, apparently my principal announces to the entire staff that I am having Lap-Band surgery tomorrow. Now, it is not that a few did not know, but I chose whom I wanted to tell. Now everyone knows. The only reason why I did not want the entire staff to know is because I do not what everyone becoming the food police--watching what I eat and monitoring my weight loss. I am also extremely tired of people asking how much weight have I lost already. It makes me focus on the scale. This surgery for me, like everyone else, is not just about pounds. I want to send out an email asking that I really do not want to have conversations about it and that is an incredibly personal journey for me. I am very professional and rarely bring personal issues to work. Should I send an email or my my own announcement at the next meeting or just leave it alone?

[june09bandit 0]

I would just ignore it. It's probably meaningless to most people, but there will be busy bodies. When those start to ask questions, it's then that I would explain it's a personal thing that you'd prefer not to discuss. Word will get around that you don't want it to be the topic at the Water cooler.

I would also have a very pointed conversation with the boss. He/She should NEVER give out personal information on ANY employee - and I'm willing to bet the principal is aware that this was ethically wrong.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Unfortunately, your boss is an idiot. He has violated some serious federal regulations regarding disclosure of medical information. Even though he meant well, you should talk to him in private and explain to him that he has done something he should not have done and that you expect a certain amount of fallout from it just because of the number of people who know what you've done. Tell him you'll have to deal with it but tell him to please not do that to anyone else ever again.

[k-statearmywife 6]

Unfortunately this is just another example of a man exerting power and control over an "inferior" female worker. Do you think this would've happened if you were a male and your boss was a female? Hell no! Your boss was demonstrating that he controls you and controls what's important in the workplace by putting your very personal issue into the public spotlight.

I would first email him and tell him how that made you feel (very professionaly of course), and ask that he apologize to you and to the rest of the school employees for innapropriately sharing your personal story.

[Cocoabean 430]

The principal divulged your personal medical information! This is a HUGE deal! At the very least, I'd have a conversation with him/her (I'll use the male pronoun). It was not his place to tell, nor his right. Would he have announced if you were having a colonoscopy? I think not.

His heart may have been in the right place, or maybe not. It doesn't matter. Perhaps he was trying to explain your absence. It doesn't matter. All that should have been said is that "Shadst8 will be out for 2 weeks."

As to the email. I would ask him to send it. Along with an apology, and stating that he should not have said anything about your condition and upcoming surgery during the staff meeting. He should request that the staff please respect your privacy as to your medical condition and not ask you questions about it.

You have a right to be outraged!

Denise

[shadst8 8]

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately I will not see him to well after the surgery as he is not going to be here and rather share my concern in person. FYI it is a he (though most times he acts like a she lol). I feel it was deliberate, call it crazy, it was definitely deliberate for some reason and not just a slip. I do not know probably to make the staff feel sorry for him while I am out, jealousy (he is not slim and trim himself lol), or since we are a family kind of staff that is was just like sharing with the family? The staff is great and some of them have already sensed that it is a private issue and have not even brought up the subject. Those who have have been very supportive except for one who look at me like I was going to die--I finally asked her why are you looking like that--she said well it is surgery and saying good luck just seems silly. Nevertheless, it's about me tomorrow so let them talk:)

[DizzyLizzy 21]

I would definitely bring it up to his boss/supervisor and he should be disciplined or written up. He should have known better, you NEVER discuss your employees' personal matters, especially health issues, with others! When my people call in sick, I have to let others on the team that they serve know that they will not be in, but I can't tell them why. He was wrong, ethically and possibly legally!

[Catherine55 43]

What he did is ILLEGAL and could subject the school to liability (if you sued). What a JERK!!!!!!!!!!!

As someone who has been very glad that she kept her decision private from work people, I am very upset for you. You deserve to be able to have privacy and for your food choices and weight loss rate not to be scrutinized -- and now he has taken that away from you without your consent. That is just so wrong.

I am sorry that happened to you. I would absolutely complain about it, whether to him or to his supervisor.

You might mention to a colleague who is a bit of a blabbermouth that people lose SLOWLY with the band and don't really start losing until after the healing phase (read: Bandster Hell). Maybe that person will pass it on so that people won't have gastric bypass-loss expectations and say annoying things like "Why aren't you losing more weight?" at the beginning.

GRRRRRR!!!!! I am so upset for you!!!

Catherine

[shadst8 8]

What he did is ILLEGAL and could subject the school to liability (if you sued). What a JERK!!!!!!!!!!!

As someone who has been very glad that she kept her decision private from work people, I am very upset for you. You deserve to be able to have privacy and for your food choices and weight loss rate not to be scrutinized -- and now he has taken that away from you without your consent. That is just so wrong.

I am sorry that happened to you. I would absolutely complain about it, whether to him or to his supervisor.

You might mention to a colleague who is a bit of a blabbermouth that people lose SLOWLY with the band and don't really start losing until after the healing phase (read: Bandster Hell). Maybe that person will pass it on so that people won't have gastric bypass-loss expectations and say annoying things like "Why aren't you losing more weight?" at the beginning.

GRRRRRR!!!!! I am so upset for you!!!

Catherine

That's exactly how I feel--so violated:mad: I had already had the idea of using my mouthpiece--so I started that bug going while I will be gone:rolleyes2:

[FutureMan 0]

I'm thinking that you should ignore the negatives and think positive (you can't take it back anyway). Now everyone knows and can be in your support group. Next meeting confirm it and ask for their support and prayers. I bet you will be surprised! My daughter is a teacher also. They have many food days. Maybe this will help them support you during those days. If nothing else, there will be a few good ones that will pray for you and support you along the road to success!

[shadst8 8]

I'm thinking that you should ignore the negatives and think positive (you can't take it back anyway). Now everyone knows and can be in your support group. Next meeting confirm it and ask for their support and prayers. I bet you will be surprised! My daughter is a teacher also. They have many food days. Maybe this will help them support you during those days. If nothing else, there will be a few good ones that will pray for you and support you along the road to success!

I had planned to tell them immediately when I got back--but I am upset that I was not allowed this choice. I had told some who I knew were very supportive and already educated about the surgery. For the most part, everyone else he told,they have been supportive and stating they will be praying for me--as I said in my previous post, I am not even worrying about anyone but myself and the surgery tomorrow now and the new beginning--closing that chapter:)

[4my4kids 1]

This same thing happened to me where I work....At first I 2 was very upset....Again I was worried about the food police and always having to justify what I am eating...But I think that the person who did this to me thought that he had my best interest at heart and I have had to just let it go.....I think being positive through out the whole process is more important than being worried about what someone else might think...You will do great!

[Catherine55 43]

Oh well -- you know what? You are going to lose the weight regardless of how much they watch your food and figure, and a year from today, you will have come light years. It's all about the baby steps.

If I do the math, I've lost slightly less than a pound a week over the last year (mainly b/c my loss has slowed in the past few months). Yet I'm less than 10 pounds from my goal.

So, keep that in mind when people say annoying things or look at your food choices. You're going to need to think about how you are going to handle their comments (both thinking up responses and how you will deal with the annoyance internally), but you'll be fine! And, maybe you will find that you have support from unexpected sources.

But the bottom line is that this was YOUR news and no one should have taken that away from you. :thumbup:

Sorry about the giant photo below. . I was experimenting with including it today and haven't taken it out yet!!

Best wishes for your success,

Catherine

[Cleo's Mom 257]

Didn't your principal ever hear of HIPPA? I mean, really, how did he get to that position without knowing about it? You should email your staff members and tell them what you stated in your original post. It was well said.

Good luck with your lapband journey and when you do get back to work make sure you talk to this principal and explain your feelings and don't let him off the hook if he starts to say he had the best intentions...

[onenuttynurse 0]

Okay...so now that the cat is out of the bag. It is time to take something that was so negative(person opening their mouth) and turn it into something wonderfully positive. I am a nurse and was also recently banded. Yes, I have people just waiting to see what I am going to eat. Do I care, absolutely not. They are just curious and the nay sayers who constantly have nothing good to say. They don't deserve your friendship in the first place. A conversation came up with a RN at work. I heard her say, "i dont know why she cant just lose the weight, just stop eating, its that simple". I marched over to her and said" I don't know why you got two divorces,couldn't you just work on it, its that simple"...Needless to say..she keeps her mouth shut now...........